<p>I love my empty nest! I am so pleased that both of my kids are happily finding their own way in the world. Our home is where they became the young adults they are today. It will always be a place for them to have roots, but they are growing toward the sun and H & I could not be more proud. D now comes home only a couple times a year, and S is adjusting to his first year of college a few hours away. They keep in touch, and we are thrilled that they are happy and well adjusted.</p>
<p>As for the empty nest, the bathrooms are clean, the kitchen is clean, the family room is clean … we eat what we want, when we want (and in front of the tv, which we NEVER did when the kids were in the house!) … and I sleep wearing what I want to wear (or not). </p>
<p>I love my kids with all my heart, but I have always felt that my job is to raise them to go off on their own. I am glad they feel safe enough to venture away from the nest.</p>
<p>I have heard privately from some other parents in the same situation, so am hoping, as I said, that my post was helpful and not a downer. </p>
<p>For parents with kids who have chronic issues, of whatever kind, it can be difficult to ever really feel like the worry will stop, or that anything can be planned. That means the parents hesitate to take on a new job, for instance, in case something happens, or the parents end up dropping out of school themselves when something does happen. But more than anything, there is a kind of deep ache for the struggles of the kid, which you know will only continue for them, if it is a chronic condition.</p>
<p>There are ways to deal with this, mainly involving gaining some detachment, while still caring and supporting. But issues of autonomy and independence are tougher for the kid, and issues of moving on and having a life again are complicated for the parents.</p>
<p>I missed my oldest when he left for college. He now lives on the other coast. He is healthy and happy and that makes all the difference.</p>
<p>Kids with chronic conditions get good at being happy when they can be, and take advantage of every healthy moment. They are often mature and caring. But there is that feeling of never knowing when the next problem is going to come along. It is never a sure thing that the semester will be finished.</p>
<p>I know a lot of people can relate to this. In many ways, this is just an exaggerated form of issues everyone deals with. So if you truly have an empty nest for a time, meaning a feeling of certainty that your son or daughter is going to finish a semester or a year without a lot of involvement on your part, enjoy!</p>
<p>I had a very hard time 2-3 months before my daughter left for college. And the hardest were two days just before we left and she stayed there “alone”! But we are internationals and live in other country. So, I couldn’t imagine that I wouldn’t see her till the winter break! Skype helps Now I feel much better knowing that she is very happy there.
And we have a younger daughter… who is graduating in one and half year too!.. another stressful time. I think how I can keep the youngest one next to me for few more years? Are there any ways? :)</p>
<p>lunamom-what do you mean?She is going to college in 18 months?Enjoy all the time you have now!Maybe she will attend a school not too far away,or you can make trips to see her.Each kid develops a contact style. We have 4, all out .#1-1 call every 2 weeks. #2graduated,working and now visits once a month for dinner and shopping( I pay as incentive )#3 -calls every few days, for a couple of minutes. #4-so far,10 weeks out, calls like #3 to tell me mostly silly, endearing little things( I love that)#4 is girl .Meanwhile, I am trying to develop new interests,and new friends .It’s getting better, but of course some pain is always there too . fauxmaven(original poster)</p>
<p>Compmom, very moved by your posts. Thank you for sharing a side of this issue I hadn’t really thought about. I hope your chronically ill S or D is doing better and moving toward long-term better health.</p>
Now I feel much better knowing that she is very happy there.
Are there any ways? :)</p>