<p>Daughter is headed off to Binghamton University in the morning:). While I am thrilled and excited for her, I am totally going to miss her- like all you other parents out there! I have started oil painting and my husband and I are moving into a new home the end of Sept. Plus I teach so I will be with a whole new crop of kids in 2 weeks....B U T...... even though I have a lot on my plate to distract me, how do I get past the fact that she is flying the coop and our relationship is shifting into this new realm? If you have been there, and survived, how did you cope?</p>
<p>Doing it now. In the middle of a 2 day move-in/orientation 2000 miles from home. Had a bawlfest earlier when DS told us to make ourselves scarce until dinner tomorrow. Felt much better after 1/2 bottle of wine. I highly recommend chemical solution to this particular emotional trauma.</p>
<p>Ha! ihs76, I think my wife will probably have the same solution next Fall when we sent our youngest off to college. Syrah?</p>
<p>“Red blend” What they had on $15 wednesday night special at the Raw Oyster Bar we decided to hit.</p>
<p>Tomorrow at our ‘farewell dinner’ I plan a repeat performance.</p>
<p>ny mom–you have to remember that this is the goal you’ve been working towards for 18 years. As others have said, the only thing worse than them leaving is if they didn’t or couldn’t for some reason. Also, it’s about them, not us. But it is tough. Just try to think of when the next time is that you’ll see them–not the whole paradigm shift thing. Give yourself time to get used to it. Concentrate on the first care package you’ll send–be on the lookout to pick up little things she likes to put in it. Hang in there–you can do it if the rest of us can!</p>
<p>We are doing amazingly well after dropping off our baby on Friday. I’ve been a very involved stay-at-home mom for the last 21 years so I didn’t know how I was going to handle it. We got home and have had non-stop invitations from friends and family so we’ve been eating out a lot and plenty of drinking too! Yesterday I went out with a group of friends in the middle of the day to see Eat Pray Love so just stay busy. It helps that my son is doing great and loving his first week. I’ve also planned a care package party in a couple of weeks for my friends who have sent a child to college this year. 24 of us will each bring 24 items to pack up into 24 care packages and send them off to our freshmen.</p>
<p>After my youngest left for school last year I ran into a friend who had been an empty nester for a few years. I told her I wasn’t sure how I as going to be ablle to handle it. She told me I’d be fine and that she would “mentor” me. Out of that the Empty Nester Club (or ENC) was born. The core group is the two of us and our husbands but we’ve had several other couples join us from time to time. </p>
<p>Our “club” has really only two rules, we meet on a weeknight (because we can) and go somewhere where they have half priced wine. We’ve had a great time getting to know these people better and they have helped support us as we tried to figure to do with this new chapter in our lives. </p>
<p>We still talk alot about our kids but we’ve also talked about things we were interested in but had never had time to do before. We tried dance lessons, (husband had no rythmn, and I couldn’t remember the steps so we “retired” from that). We also talked about traveling together but my friend was recently diagnosed with breast cancer so that will have to wait. It has been the best thing to happen to me in the last year and together we have discovered that you can have a life without your children!</p>
<p>It’s a first time for me too, with D2 leaving tomorrow. Her twin sister left about 2 weeks ago and the house has been strangely quiet and so much food has not been eaten as quickly as usual! I miss D1 and I will miss D2 but right now I’m a bit relieved to be able to move them out, clean things up, and exhale for awhile. </p>
<p>D2 is the more sensitive one who will get more homesick (D1 claims to only miss the food) and I can see myself getting all sad because she will be getting all sad. So contagious. But right now I’m just sweaty and a bit irritated at the thought of packing the car tomorrow. Delusional? I’ll post an update tomorrow night.</p>
<p>You will be fine, you work and you have a nice hobby and a husband. I am the same, and it has been just fine. D. is senior in a process of finding her place at Grad. School. I will be worrying about her driving to interviews to various unknown places. She loves to be back home at breaks and we always enjoy her. With S., it has been so long ago, I do not remember anything.</p>
<p>Greenwich- where is D2 off to? I agree with breathing a slight sigh to clean the house and reclaim some space after years of sharing (selfish, I know!). I am gloing to keep a list of things that come up with that I want to talk to my daughter about. She is excited so I am trying to go with that…Someone posted earlier its about the kids, not us. Good tip!</p>
<p>I’m leaving on Saturday and seeing my mom now, I can’t imagine how hard it will be for my mom when her baby (my sis) leaves to college in about 11 years. By then, she’ll be use to having her kids live with her for 33 years.<br>
But by then, she will have tons of grandkids! (hopefully)</p>
<p>The thing that I missed the most when my Ds went away to college was sharing little things that I might have read in the paper or in the funnies or some story about a friend of theirs. So I would clip it out of the paper and send it by snail mail. Nothing big, because the kids really won’t take the time to read something long…</p>
<p>I would probably send between 2-4 items a week (I’d save them if I found more than one item and send them on separate days). </p>
<p>The kids were the envy of their friends–because they got REAL mail from home. </p>
<p>I only did it for freshman year…and the girls told me that they saved every letter from their freshman years.</p>
<p>Last fall we sent our youngest off to college. It was very weird to just have the hub and me and the dog at home. Quiet. Odd. Not bad exactly, but not great either.</p>
<p>Then time wore on and I actually got to like it. Less to clean up, less grocery shopping, less competition for the shower. A new rhythm was established and it was quite nice. Hub and I went out a bit more. There was time for projects around the house, reading, visiting with friends.</p>
<p>Then they came home for the summer. It’s been just great having them home. I do adore them. Now I’m feeling like we’re back where we started from: very weird to just have the hub and me and the dog at home. Quiet. Odd. Not bad exactly, but not great either.</p>
<p>But since the cycle is likely to be the same, I expect after awhile the new rhythm with all its own pleasures will re-establish itself. So, I’ll miss them, but it will all be just fine.</p>
<p>Our son left for college, 2000 miles away, about a week and a half ago. My biggest fear was losing connection with him, because he leaves his phone off a lot and doesn’t check his e-mail very often. But we installed Skype before he left, and it has made a huge difference! (It is SO easy to install! I couldn’t believe it.) We’ve used the video feature only once. What I REALLY like about it is the messaging feature. If he sends me a message, the Skype bar at the bottom of my computer screen turns yellow, and I can send him a note right back. I am at my computer most of the time, so it’s been a fun, convenient way to communicate with him. I feel SO much better now!</p>
<p>Empty nest was surprisingly easy to adjust to. But then DH got a new job that requires a ton of travel. I dont like empty house. This stinks.</p>
<p>Older s happened to also get a new job recently, and now lives about 1/2 hr away. But I don’t want to be intrusive. I know he is establishing a new circle of friends and doesn’t have a lot of free time (work is about a 45’ commute in the opposite direction). We have had the opportunity to see him a time or two (helping with moving, met for brunch, etc). Maybe I’ll invite him to dinner or something- but don’t want to be a pest. Will have to find the right balance…</p>
<p>Son just went back. It is nice to be able to do laundry once every 4-5 days instead of every other day! Yes, he does help with laundry when at home but it still has to be done more often.</p>
<p>"once every 4-5 days instead of every other day! "
-That is a lot of laundry. Once in 2 weeks is my choice. I do it once / week when D. is at home, and it is mostly her clothe. The only house chore that I actually love doing, but not to the point of doing it every 4-5 days.</p>
<p>The best analogy I can come up with is that its like when they learned to drive. The anxiety leading up to the event is worse than the event. Even when they first get their license, its still worrisome and nerve racking. But after awhile, you recognize the convenience of not having to drive them everywhere, pick them up after practice, etc. And soon, the extra time/freedom reduces the anxiety. </p>
<p>Similarly, not long after our nest emptied, we noticed that we had a lot more time for ourselves. In fact, our neighbors began joking with us that the weekend newspapers seemed to be piling up more often when the kids were at school. Then of course, there are the little annoyances that no longer bother you. Lights/TVs left on. Cabinet doors left wide open. Shoes piling up at every entrance to the house. </p>
<p>Still miss them, though. At this point, we can take solace in the fact that our nest is temporarily empty. They do come back for breaks, etc. I like to think of this time as practice for the truly empty nest thats coming.</p>
<p>BTW, our water, gas and electric bills go down significantly when they return to school, not to mention the food bills!!</p>
<p>MiamiDAP, you either have a larger washing machine than me or a lot more clothes:-)</p>