<p>I send very little homework home.</p>
<p>When you spend time with your child on homework you are telling them that it is important</p>
<p>So if you send very little homework home, how much do you send back with the child after they turned it in so parents can go over it?</p>
<p>The kids who had parents who did their homework for them in fifth grade this year in sixth are tanking.....because the parents can't do the work. The math is way above most parents and there's so much work that's done in class that its obvious if the kids aren't keeping up. Also, our kids' school does alot of testing to make sure the kids know the material cold. A parent can't come in and do the tests for them.</p>
<p>"Based on what's posted here, some of those kids won't be learning their lessons until they go into the work place and can't perform. Presumably Mommy and Daddy won't be able to write their reports then."</p>
<p>Here, here, Northstarmom! Isn't that what we preach to our kids about education? That it will make them more successful individuals? Unfortunately, the stories here could have been written about my kids schools. The parents seemingly think they're successful parents because they're producing "winning" kids. Unfortunately, it's their egos that are being fed and not their kids survivability in the real world. It's been painful watching my kids fall in line at times behind the cheaters. However, I like who my kids are becoming.</p>
<p>Here's to all the kids who are less than perfect and doing life on their own!</p>
<p>I think some people don't even realize how much they are "helping"
When I looked at our neighborhood school, a great school with a lot of community involvement, I couldn't help but notice how for instance the art work looked very similar
I found out what was happening one day when I observed several older volunteers helping in the K class. " oh, honey, that is too much paint, why don't you do it this way,that isn't the right color, here I will help you...."
Art shouldn't be about "what looks right" especially in kindergarten!</p>
<p>"So if you send very little homework home, how much do you send back with the child after they turned it in so parents can go over it?"</p>
<p>All of it! :-) If there is no feedback on it then it is useless busywork. I respect my students and their parents and their time enough not to just send worksheets home for the sake of worksheets, although there are parents who request just that. My husband and myself have both seen students throw away papers that had we spent time correcting, and in classrooms from coast to coast I can tell you that there are probably millions of corrected papers in the trash, stashed in desks, behind bookcases, etc. :-) Kids are wiley and frequently don't want their parents to see the result of the work. I even make carbon-type copies of all of the paper notes I send to parents because kids avoid, forget, or neglect to deliver the missive. </p>
<p>Enough! Happy Sunday!</p>
<p>momof1 - I think it's great you don't send too much homework home. My friend who has done her kids homework in high school says she did it because the school just gave too much boring and useless busy work as a way to weed kids out for the AP track. </p>
<p>dke - I so could never have done my kids homework in math or science LOL. All H and I do, mostly H since he works from home, is edit papers. I think of that as required. Writing is an iterative process and the teachers can't take the time to correct 2 and 3 drafts of 15 kids papers. And our school is private with v. small class sizes and it's still too much work for the teachers. </p>
<p>So then the teachers give in-class essays and they can figure out which kids are getting guidance at home and which kids are using parents as a homework service.:)</p>
<p>
[quote]
So then the teachers give in-class essays and they can figure out which kids are getting guidance at home and which kids are using parents as a homework service.
[/quote]
Yes, this is one of the points S' Freshman Engl. teacher made when she and I discussed appropriate vs. inappropriate parental "editor" role - she said that she did not see any real difference between S' in-class writing and homework writing.</p>
<p>So... in the cases where, even in hs, parents are writing FOR the kid, how come the teachers don't notice? Or do they?</p>
<p>In some schools teachers aren't correcting the work
At my daughters former school, TAs were correcting the work- student TA's.
At her present school, parents often are asked to help in class and one of the areas is correcting work.
If a parent only sees one set of papers by a class, they arent going to have anything to compare it to.
I won't correct papers in class even if I had the answer sheet,( I think it is a breach of confidentiality- whether parents do it- or students) I do volunteer, but I tutor kids who are at a grade school level in reading- in high school.</p>
<p>I learned how to (really) write as an adult, when participating in a local writers group. One generous woman took me under her wing and gave me in-depth feedback on the stories and poems I'd bring to share every month. </p>
<p>I have always tried to give back to others in return.</p>
<p>It takes time to teach writing in school. Those good teachers that make the herculean effort to read and comment in depth on student papers are my heroes. But, let's face it, not all teachers have the time and inclination for it. It is exhausting, and besides, many students don't care. Many students want you to just do it for them, which completely misses the point. </p>
<p>In seventh grade, my youngest daughter wrote amazing stories as a way of showcasing her new vocabulary words. She always got an "A" but we wondered if the teacher ever read her work! I looked over her essays and suggested even harder words for her to try. She was motivated, and wanted to do it, so why not? They were her thoughts, her stories, her imaginative creations.</p>
<p>Last semester I graded the writing component of hundreds of economics papers at a local university. I spent so much time marking up reports, meeting with students, and re-reading drafts that I completely burnt out. I'm not doing it this semester!!!<br>
One student came up to me, though, and said he credits me with helping him to write well ... that he never could before. Wow. That made it all (almost) worth it.</p>
<p>Anyway, I guess the point I want to bring up is that teaching writing involves collaboration, feedback, rewriting, etc. I know others have also made this point ... just wanted to add my two cents. :^)</p>
<p>The English teachers at our high school have the kids write everything but the research paper (and guess which project has the most plagarism?) in class because they find if it goes home, there is too much input in some cases. My kids write better than I do anyway.</p>
<p>I know of a student that faxed her freshman papers home to her mother. Of course in order to do that a student has to have written said paper before the 11th hour....which seems to be more likely with my kids! Other than reading for clarity, I doubt I would be of much help.</p>
<p>I've also heard that wealthy college students pay others to write their papers for them. (Forget mom and dad!)
There are even websites like "Evil House of Cheat" that sell papers.
But ... us graders are getting smarter, too ... and cheating never pays!</p>
<p>momof1 - I thought your post was very interesting and true to my experiences. Many parents on this website may not recognize the other 123 students and parents who go through school in absentia and many may not realize how varied the student population is in classrooms today. If a parent is on this website, chances are he or she has been involved in their child's education, s promoted education in the home, etc. Oodles of kids receive no support at home or have such difficult home lives that checking homework is about the 99th priority of the family. With two parents working - I know that getting dinner on the table and cleaning up the dishes takes time away from homework help. Many a night I have done dishes at 10 so that I could help my son with something! I totally agree that letting themt urn in homework that is wrong just creates a bigger problem in that the child believes it is right. I have had that argument with my husband. However, I was lost when my older son got to Calculus, frankly. </p>
<p>Form my own experiences with two now in high school, it would be nice if teachers were clear about the involvement expected - I know in earlier grades we were asked to sign certain homework papers and test papers. I have a child with ADHD so I have no choice but to check that he has remembered and completed his homework, but many parents do feel that they are supposed to be involved - they see it as the teacher's job. I agree with you that the teacher cannot be responsible for carryover and follow-through. That should be the parent's job, but I have never heard a teacher describe what involvement they would like to see from parents - I think that should go on the syllabus or the parent's night handout. OTOH, the parents of some of those 123 students are probably unable to provide that follow-through due to instability or work, etc. It's hard to know how these kids will get through the material successfully if they have to rely on their parents!</p>
<p>As an aside, my son's friend's father is a teacher. He has always done his son's homework so that he can play sports - he thinks it is busy work. His mother does his French since she is French! When the boy took placement tests for some honors classes, the father went crazy when his son did not place into honors! Duh!</p>
<p>Unless the parents are going to outlive the kid or unless the kid is going to be left enough money and a caretaker to watch over him, there will have to come a point when the kid is going to have to be self sufficient. Bringing him to highest level of self sufficiency is really what parents want to do. There are adults in my husband's family that are really having a hard time making a go of it, now that they have to take care of themselves. Some just have not been able to do it. THis is a real problem, and is getting worse it seems to me with the way the economy has been evolving and the loss of company type jobs where benefits and tenure are built in. Many of us, myself included, step in more than we should, more than we want, in hopes that in stepping in we are showing the kid how to do something so that he can maybe do it in the future. Whether this works, and how long this practice should continue are issues that are really too individual.</p>
<p>For our son and us it has never been about the grade but how much you have learned. Therefore we never helped with homework or papers. NEVER. We figured that more was learned by struggling to figure out a difficult homework problem even if it he got it wrong. Next time he would know it cold.</p>
<p>In his first year of college he took the courses that were required or electives which interested him and did not avoid the ones taugh by professors with a tough reputation. His DSA course was taught by one of the most demanding profs in the department and after a D- on the first midterm we only asked "did you study for it?" Yes and "did you think you learned the material reasonably well?" Yes again. That was enough for him and us. He continued to tenaciously plug away and was "rewarded" with a final grade of A!! Something he was extremely proud of and one in which he learned the course material and perhaps more about himself.</p>
<p>Learning should be extremely hard at times and sometime we may even fail. But to have parents shield their children from this reality not only sets an extremely poor ethical example but may set them up for failure later in life.</p>
<p>Anyone who has succeeded in life acknowledges that learning from failure and perserverence are the greatest teachers in life. Don't deny your children this reality.</p>
<p>Yeah, I never had to help D1 since 3rd grade. She is own her own since 3rd grade, but she still got great grades. It's true, learning involves a bit of struggling. We never say NEVER but we let our kids stew a little bit longer before we came to help and no we don't give the answer, we make them think through the answer, we give them hints, we help clarify some difficult concepts but they have to be the one responsible for the answer. Sometimes, D2 wants the easy way out, she's crying, she's in tears, but we calmly acknowledge that these subjects she's learning is difficult and she's doing well by putting in the effort but a bit of struggling is needed.(not everybody is genious, and even geniouses have different set of problems). My 2 cents.</p>
<p>OTOH, each child is different and the maturity level of some students is a consideration. Girls are frequently more mature and more invested in pleasing the teacher, completing all tasks, etc., than boys, in early high school or late middle school = they seem to "get it" a bit earlier. The top 10 students in my senior's graduating class include 9 girls and one boy, a Russian student who has been taking courses at local college all year! I have already mentioned that I have a son with ADHD, acknowledged by us only after we spent years convinced otherwise, struggling with non-helpful demands and puzzled by his brilliance that never showed up on report cards, and in comparison with son #1. I feel that checking the quality of his work, checking that he has done his work, is like anything else I do as a parent - it is a guide for him re: how things should be done, a set of expectations - and it is much harder to establish this with him than his brother despite his enthusiasm for learning and school. My son is highly motivated but incredibly disorganized. The comments on report cards are incredible - he can have test grades that are all As but still get a B or B- because of missing homeworks, or unstapled papers or no title page for his report. It is only through daily repetition of the habits we want to instill that he has a chance to mature into a good student. The guidance counselor told me that many boys are like this - that they do not come into their own until junior or senior year. Yet, the teachers seem to have a sink or swim attitude so I see no choice but to be a parent who guides, checks, etc. I can't do it all the time - I work as well, but I do what I can for him because nobody at school cares if he is learning how to be an independent student or not. I don't do his work, I just make sure he does it and that it isn't just filled in blanks and our teacher mentioned.</p>
<p>We didn't work with our daughter on her papers for the grades. We worked with her because having good editors and arguing with them and honing your prose is the best way to learn to write. Writers have editors. They don't have people who write the books, articles, for them (unless they are Michael Jordan or President Bush) but they do have editors.</p>
<p>well my parents spoil me with unlimited nachos and dr pepper because they know how hard i work and how much i love those two foods and drink. yea..its true, they buy boxes of nachos with cheese and hundreds of cans of dr pepper. I'm spoiled. don't kill me.</p>
<p>well about people who send papers back home for editing and getting editing by others, that is just crazy. You are not learning really, you are just telling yourself that you cant trust yourself enough.</p>
<p>rExRuN467
- Your parents are wonderful. I don't edit - just make sure my son is following the directions and answering both parts of the question. Kids with ADHD don't read the directions, don't answer the second part, they don't have the rubric or assignment sheet the teacher gave them,so they don't really know what they should be doing, they don't plan their time appropriately- nachos and Dr. Pepper wouldn't matter one hoot! In fact, getting zeros on late assignments or forgotten notebooks doesn't matter one hoot either - it's not defiance, it is neurobiology. My goal is to teach my son compensatory skills and strategies so that he can be independent in everything - he has to be - I am NOT going to college with him but more importantly, I am not going to work with him! I think about it as holding his place in line until he is ready to take it himself.</p>
<p>Our D's high school also now requires writing essays in class. I think they know that parents do help to edit, which is nothing wrong imo, part of the writing process, but I think they want the student to use peer editing. I don't get to see any of the test papers(even in Math), so I seems to be clueless as to what's going on in school. A very frustating process.</p>