<p>What I have wanted for my kids, and encouraged them to be, after age 12 or so, is simply happy. Now, of course, that sounds awfully trite in this day and age of overscheduled intense activities, but, it was a really helpful focus that proceeded along these lines: if you each make a commitment, honor it, but when done, you’re done - if it does not make you content to continue the instrument, the school newspaper, the high jump, then find some other use for your time. Give what you can to all you do, but where all you can is too much and causing illness, sleep deprivation or the deer in the headlights look, then stop and re-evaluate. More than one interviewer said simply that DS1 and DS2 were happy, and highly analytical, kids - simply the kind of people one would want to be with, and listen to, and consider the opinions of. </p>
<p>I like the idea of going to college to ‘fail’ because, what is really suggested is not failure per se, but a willingness to do what one is good at and not good at, and re-evaluate along the way.</p>