<p>Discipline-specific jokes are more than welcome! I'm leaning towards the theory that there is no such thing as a funny engineering joke, and I want somebody to prove me wrong.</p>
<p>Here’s a thread I started long before: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/engineering-majors/911782-what-some-funny-chemical-engineering-jokes-you-know.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/engineering-majors/911782-what-some-funny-chemical-engineering-jokes-you-know.html</a></p>
<p>An economist, an engineer, and a physicist are marooned on a deserted
island. One day they find a can of food washed up on the beach and
contrive to open it. The engineer said: “let’s hammer the can open
between these rocks”. The physicist said: “that’s pretty crude. We can
just use the force of gravity by dropping a rock on the can from that
tall tree over there”. The economist is somewhat disgusted at these
deliberations, and says: “I’ve got a much more elegant solution. All we
have to do is assume a can-opener.”</p>
<p>Mostly for the electrical types out there: there are only 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don’t.</p>
<p>For the CS types out there: Two programmers talking…When I started coding, we only had zeros and ones. The other responds: You had zeros?</p>
<p>An MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip,</p>
<p>set up their tent, and fall asleep.</p>
<p>Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend.</p>
<p>“Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”</p>
<p>The MBA replies, “I see millions of stars.”</p>
<p>“What does that tell you?” </p>
<p>The MBA ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are</p>
<p>millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.</p>
<p>Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.</p>
<p>Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.</p>
<p>Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.</p>
<p>Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.</p>
<p>Economically there are mass scales of stars in the sky.</p>
<p>So "Economy of Scale " would be the ideal strategy in that market.</p>
<p>Strategically such market would be a volume driven market</p>
<p>Financially it would be a low margin market.</p>
<p>From HR point of view we would require huge manpower</p>
<p>What does it tell you?"</p>
<p>The Engineer is silent for a moment, then speaks.</p>
<p>“Practically”</p>
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“Someone has stolen our TENT”</p>
<p>Well officer, from a Lagrangian perspective, the car hit me!</p>
<p>Engineer as a Designer of the Human Body</p>
<p>Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.</p>
<p>One said, ``It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.‘’
Another said, ``No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous systems many thousands of electrical connections.''
The last said, ``Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?''</p>
<p>This is classic too.</p>
<hr>
<p>
Well officer, from a Galilean perspective, every thing happens simultaneously.</p>
<p>^you win this thread. so far at least</p>
<p>Wow, these are some of the least funny jokes I have ever read. They make accountant jokes look hilarious.</p>
<p>@Japher hahaha, I love your joke. very creative. What does it implies? Is it like business is more looking far ahead, and engineer is a typical person who try to see things at the moment.</p>
<p>
In all fairness, most of our funny jokes are about accountants, but that’s not what the OP asked for.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Nope, it’s a mathematician, not an economist. Doesn’t really make sense with an economist (well, anyway, I’m a big econ nerd and I don’t get it, but I get it if the guy’s a mathematician).</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This joke was part of an early Dilbert strip. “I programmed an entire database using nothing but ones!”</p>
<p>Dilbert has a lot of funny engineering-related jokes, and User Friendly does too, but I was hoping for more traditional jokes, like the type you tell.</p>
<p>I’m telling you, my Lagrangian one is gold! I told it the other day and people were cracking up (as long as they understood it).</p>
<p>Software Engineer</p>
<p>A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said: “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.</p>
<p>The frog spoke up again and said: “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out: “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do anything you want”. Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked: “What is the matter ? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me ?”
The man said, “Look I’m a software engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”</p>
<p>"This joke was part of an early Dilbert strip. “I programmed an entire database using nothing but ones!” </p>
<p>A further derivative of this is “Kid, when I started programming we only had ones and zeros…and sometimes we didn’t even have the ones!”</p>
<p>@jpl, your joke cracked me up. hahaha. I like this kind of joke, not too complicated.</p>