<p>I had my gov school essay all ready over the weekend and I brought it to school today to get it revised/read by my english teacher. She just skimmed over it and said, "it's good". I asked her if that was all and she, again, goes, "yea, it's pretty good" (without even looking at me)... I was like *** (inside) and just walked out... I went over to another English teacher and asked her if she could look over my essay even if I don't have her as a teacher and was very offensive about it... she went, "NO! go ask your own English teacher, your teacher and I receive the same amount of pay. It's not fair for me to read over 1000 essays while your teacher doesn't" I was reallly shocked but since what she said seemed true, I said "okay, thanks anyways. Bye" She didn't even say bye back :( but anyways who do I get my essay revised from now...?</p>
<p>HELP!!! is anybody willing to critique my essay??? :)</p>
<p>Sounds like a terrible school. Do people hate you?</p>
<p>That's messed up... if you are that proud of your work, find a teacher that is willing to read it. There are great teachers out there at any school, you know.</p>
<p>^ It's not that I have pride, but I do want it revised since it is for gov. school... I guess I could ask my other teachers even if they don't teach English...</p>
<p>ask the teacher who you have the best relationship with. Your 9th or 10th grade english teachers would be good.</p>
<p>I didn't have good relationships with my 9th or 10th grade Eng. teachers...</p>
<p>Ugh what a brat. Find another trusted, grammar-literate adult.</p>
<p>And I'm happy to look over it if you PM me.</p>
<p>Edit it yourself.</p>
<p>Think of ways to reword, change, or even modify the flow of the sentences and paragraphs. Some guidelines that I use when writing an essay are:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>Make sure all sentences are right-branched. The subject and verb should be placed in the beginning of the sentence and all details will branch out of them. Take my last two sentences, "make sure" - You, being the invisible subject, are making sure, the verb. And the subject and verb, being the subject and placed, being the verb. The rest of the sentence branches out giving details about them. I, personally, think they should better.</p></li>
<li><p>Don't repeat words. If you use words like, "nihilistic", "morality", "decipher" - Words that you will not come across on a day-to-day basis - limit the amount of times you put them in to one. I could not stand when Edgar Allen Poe reused the same, unique words multiple times in his pieces. </p></li>
<li><p>Remove -ings. They change the whole word and the sound of the sentence. For example - Jilly likes swimming, reading and jogging. Sounds redundant and unstable. Change that to, "Jill likes to swim, read and jog". It's a much more solid sentence. </p></li>
</ul>
<p>There are a few more, but those seem to differ between essays. With personal, self-styled essays, removing all commas and then reading the essay outloud and placing the commas in where you stop, tends to make it more "personal". In a research essay, - "The economic, policy of, the United States of, America" - Yeah. That won't fly too well.</p>
<p>tool of the day.</p>
<p>Try posting it on CC's college essays subforum or finding a friend to critique it for you. :]</p>
<p>I certainly wouldn't read it. Can't say I blame him.</p>
<p>anybody not living in VA willing to read it? :)</p>
<p>I'm not in VA and am happy to edit.</p>
<p>I'll play around, if you want. I'm interested.</p>
<p>^ That's what she said.</p>