<p>MichorPlan2, you may be right. Though it would be difficult to be more religiously conservative than my husband and me. (My son who just got accepted as an Engineering student is also discerning the priesthood.)</p>
<p>But even we are thrilled to have our son go to UofM. It’s possible to be a person of faith at a secular school. Granted, we thought it was prudent to have our son take the general education humanities courses at a community college instead of being indoctrinated in the ultra-leftist worldview that permeates much of UM. </p>
<p>Now he’ll be studying mostly upper level math and computer classes. They don’t usually come with an ideological agenda.</p>
<p>We had many conversations with our son and each other and asked questions like, “To what sort of career does the Lord seem to be leading our son, based on his skills, aptitudes, interests, weaknesses and much prayer? What degree best supports that career? What school offers a strong degree program? How can we mitigate an ultra-leftist ideological agenda? Where is a good deli?”</p>
<p>I suppose there are parents who wouldn’t want a child (a young adult child) to go away to some schools. But I would think that the OP would know if that was the reason. Thus far, he hasn’t shared any reasons with us. I’m definitely curious.</p>
<p>LionsandTigers, I suspect I might have a guess whose story that is and I suspect the following is how an objective outsider might see it:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>She violated her parents trust by exercising poor judgement with the first incident.
The consequence has been a refusal to trust her capacity to manage herself if at a school a great distance away.</p></li>
<li><p>She is now plotting to further violate her parents trust, continuing on a path of abject deceit instead of “earning” their trust and respect or brokering some kind of compromise through conducting herself in an adult fashion. This will only feed into her parents’ low opinion of her capacity to manage her affairs.</p></li>
<li><p>She will not, under any circumstances, qualify for the $20,000 - $24,000 she would realistically need in loans to actually attend UMich. The only people who MIGHT qualify for those loans are her parents, who, once they understand they’ve been deceived, are highly unlikely to cosign.</p></li>
<li><p>The way this story is MOST likely to end is something like this:
X is forced to drop out of UMich (if your bill isn’t paid, you’re not allowed to register the next semester), finds herself at least $24,000 in debt with no degree, takes low paying retail job, loans go into default, marring her credit rating, can’t get future student loans, so ends up not being able to get a degree ANYWHERE and gets to contemplate life as a wage slave or worse. Believe it or not, we actually SEE these kinds of stories over on the financial aid thread all the time!</p></li>
<li><p>Encourage your friend to bide her time and do her best to rebuild her relationship with her parents regardless of their differing beliefs, go to any school she can for free or parental financing, then get her ducks in a row to take another shot at Mich (eg. maybe grad school) when she has matured enough to buy a clue and when she can, with good conscience, say she gave reparation a shot.</p></li>
<li><p>The reason I suggest this approach is that sooner or later, the baggage created in family relationships needs to be dealt with, or it can hold you back. Work on it now for a happy life. She needs to ask herself who she’s being to have created this condition in her life and clean it the **** up.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>finalchild, i can give that kind of advice because i know. I did calculate the psychological costs. I’ve been thru it. Stay in Arizona and be a slave to your overbearing parents is no life and where does that end? When she gets thru CC and they say sorry, you have to stay in our basement now. OK, no problem mommy! Time to take control of your life, when such options are available, not regret what might have been. If she had no funding options, I would say join a hippie commune or something, just get out of Arizona.</p>
<p>Having said that, i don’t believe she could have such helpful friends in Michigan and be productive enough to earn $30k in scholarships yet unable to leave the house ever. It doesn’t sound believable.</p>
<p>There is nothing about the story that is believable, and no doubt that’s why we never heard back from the poor soul (while everyone here tries to save the day with various strategies and theories about religious practices).</p>