Essay about Robotics, need some feedback

<p>It's a personal narrative for AP English, supposed to be practice for the real thing when we apply to colleges next year, and it's due in two days.</p>

<p>So far I have a second draft, and this topic is something I really want to write about when I actually apply to college, so I want to know what people think. It is about my experience in robotics and how its helped me develop sharper thinking skills and an appreciation for science.</p>

<p>I honestly have no clue whether it's good or not, I just know I have had a history of writing extremely bad narratives (mainly cause my life is boring)</p>

<p>So, anyone willing to give it a shot? I am a bit concerned about sentence structure issues, flow, and voice</p>