Essay Critique

Colleges and Universities A-Z Fashion Institute of Technology
1

<p>Critique me, you can be harsh. Any and all constructive criticism is welcomed.</p>

<p>Ever since I was a child I have used style as the most important means for personal expression. I remember my first school years I had a very special shirt that would only come out of my closet on select days, field trip days. Heather Grey cotton, short sleeves, and simple black screen printed text with a provocative question.
“Are we there yet?”
I would reserve the seat directly behind the bus driver and point to my chest whenever they happened to look in the mirror. This shirt was more important to me than the field trip that justified it. It was a conversation starter, a personal mission, and a hilarious joke. But back then ; it was just my favorite shirt. This fond memory sticks with me because deep in my soul I know that my purpose is to represent different concepts through creative fashion expression.</p>

<pre><code>I am a perfect candidate for the Fashion Institute of Technology because I have an undying subconscious focus on what my optimal existence should be. I am true to my heart and I live for the progression of the world. I want my life to be my occupation and to never second guess that. I only see opportunity if it is meant for me. When a contemporary heritage store called Old North opened up in my city, I was one of the first in there making connections to the business owners. I am now their go-to for advice on any given subject. I consult with them on buying, store aesthetics, and online presence. They are my mentors and above anything else my friends. I came into their life because of a keen focus for my passion. Without my understanding of that which makes me happy, I would be completely lost. I have also landed a job at one of the first H&M stores in North Carolina within a week of its grand opening, before I was even legal age to work there. I have my own lifestyle brand called ‘828isgreat’, I have gained a personal reputation for having the brands instagram page reach over 10000 followers. With that following I have made it possible to collaborate on an exclusive clothing line and host a party with a local recycled fashion store called Rhetorical Factory, all of this at no cost to me. Other fashion forays include catwalk shows with vintage stores, modelling for local photographers, designing and creating personal fashion projects and shooting editorials with some of my friends. These accomplishments are a testament to my utilization of opportunities which are ripe on the FIT campus. I am a perfect candidate for FIT because my drive and relentless passion cannot be smothered and I know I will use FIT as a platform of knowledge, resources, and connections to jumpstart my career into profound levels. I will represent FIT through my hard work and make a reputation for myself and the mentors of FIT with the quality, influence, and productivity of my creativity. I know that FIT creates amazing individuals, and it makes sense. The location is silhouetted against a lively backdrop of limitless creativity, producing cultural heart beats like blood cells along the cut-corner cement streets of Manhattan to pump strongly and surely through the subways and jump out into the hearts and minds of the youth, the future.
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<p>Humans create exoskeletons of emotion, expression, utility, and personality with fashion. We assign societal roles with clothing as the only identifier. Cops wear harsh boots, black suits, and badges while a sexy red dress can be the sole spark that creates a child. Clothes have power, extreme power that can be utilized in provocative ways. I am interested in an Advertising and Marketing Communications major because I want to use these virtues of sartorial expression to influence the culture of fashion and beyond. I know that marketing is at the core of internet communication and I want to have the skills to create new worlds in the mind of my target audience. I want to utilize the power of perception and influence an individual to ponder a new idea, learn a new skill, or enter a new world. I want to become the strongest cultural influence in the world, and I will start at FIT.
Fashion is my passion. My one true form of expression, and frankly... my future.</p>

2

Hello! this probably after you already sent it in, but I still wanted to let you know I think it’s exactly what they are looking for. I really understood who you are, what you have done and what you want to experience; which I think are a few of the key points they probably want. I also applied to AMC for fall 2015 and the essay was the biggest stress for me because it counts for sooo much of your application. I finally just decided to send it in without hesitation because the more I worked on it the more it began to not sound like me. Everyone tells me the worst part is waiting, so good luck!!

3

@howitstarts That changed to this… Should I have left it or is this a good change?

Ever since I was a child I have understood the influence of fashion. During my first years of elementary school I would wear a very special shirt on field trip days. It was a heather grey Gildan with four bold, black, screen printed words, asking one provocative question.

“ARE WE THERE YET?”

I would sit behind the bus driver and wait for a systematic glance in the mirror. Seizing the moment; I would point to my chest and light up a mischievous grin, laughing until my cheeks physically hurt. The memory of that shirt still makes me smile like a child.

I am a perfect candidate for the Fashion Institute of Technology because I passionately believe in the importance of fashion culture. Fashion is Food, we cover our naked bodies every single day much like we eat to survive. I see that clothing can be a powerful exoskeleton of personality, perception, and utility. For example; Police wear harsh boots, and black suits while one seductive silk red dress can be the sole spark that creates a child! All aspects of culture can connect to fashion, from that officers standard issue patent leather holster to Ai Wei Wei’s readymade “Safe Sex” condom jacket creation. When the contemporary heritage outfitter; ‘Old North’ opened in my city, I made it a goal to meet the owners. I now gain experience with them with buying, store aesthetics, modeling, and designing for their urban market. Their vision is so well refined and tasteful, they have taught me countless lessons about how marketing can inspire miracles. For example, a very rare pair of Old North denim, limited to 17 pairs in the world, impressed my interviewer and helped me attain a job at Asheville’s first H&M within a week of its grand opening, before I was technically old enough to work there. I saw the job posting while brainstorming for my popular lifestyle brand ‘828isgreat’, which is named after the area code of my burgeoning home-town; Asheville. The brands instagram page has reached over 10,000 followers. That engaged community has an influence that grants me countless opportunities, such as designing an exclusive clothing line with the visionary earth-conscious boutique ‘Rhetorical Factory’. For the collection release party we had catering, live music, On-Demand poetry, and a store-wide sale. The collection, along with all the amenities were curated for free, with 100% default profit from the event. The only way I could’ve managed these business tactics is due to the knowledge that I gained in a business class, for which I obtained the Asheville High School award for Entrepreneurship. An Advertising and Marketing Communications major interests me because I recognize the subconscious powers of sartorial conversation. I feel as if the textiles that flatter our bodies can fuse with the fabrics of perception and speak swiftly to an eager audience. Rachel Zoe, one of my idols, once said “Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” It is the beginning of the first impression; you find out who a person is in the street or on the screen before you even hear their name. Style seemingly skips all other senses in favor of the subconscious mind. This power to inscribe conceptual thought en masse is what makes fashion advertising so prolific, and to me, enticing.

I have grown a lot since I was that small boy sitting behind the bus driver; however, I can see that my passion for cultural influence through fashion has always been with me in one way or another. For example, before I could even comprehend the cultural zeitgeist of fashion, I would wear that grey shirt, simply because it helped me share a smile with my teachers.

I often ask myself the old question.

Are we ‘there’ yet?

Right now, writing this, I know that I am not ‘there’. I may not be ‘there’ in next 5 years even, but one thing is certain. With the quality of an education at the Fashion Institute of Technology I will eventually be there; and one day in the future, when I am there I will look back on this essay and share a smile with my friends, knowing that the naive bright-eyed little Boy on the bus is the same successful man on the plane, who wrote a resume with his heart, and fine tuned his mind with the lessons of his mentors.

Fashion is my passion. My one true form of expression, and frankly … my future.