Essay Feedback please?!

<p>Would anyone mind reading my essay? It's the first college essay I've written and I really would like some feedback. The topic is "Community." I'll PM you if you are willing to help me out. Thanks!</p>

<p>Sure, I'll help you as best I can! :)</p>

<p>Sent. Thanks!</p>

<p>Any other takers?</p>

<p>Please? Bump</p>

<p>I'll read it. I do have a warning though: I am a stickler for grammar, so you might get annoyed at me. ;)</p>

<p>PM me and I'll help.</p>

<p>sent! Thanks. Anyone one else? Please!</p>

<p>  PM me :)</p>

<p>I can read it if you want; just PM me and I'll critique it!</p>

<p>I'll take a look if you like. =) PM me</p>

<p>I'll take a look too, if you still need help :)</p>

<p>I'll try my best to help. PM me.</p>

<p>me too. PM</p>

<p>ill take a look</p>

<p>if you want another opinion, ill read it too</p>

<p>I'll read it too if you need another opinion! I'm really good at catching grammatical errors/mistakes, so I can help with that too if you would like! :)</p>

<p>I'll try to critique it too. PM me.</p>

<p>i'll try and help pm me</p>

<p>pm me for feedback!</p>