Essay for Common App Disciplinary Explanation

<p>Hey guys,</p>

<p>Im filling out the Required Explanation section of the common app because I have been "found responsible for a school disciplinary violation". Can I get some feedback on it?</p>

<p>I have only been "found responsible for a school disciplinary violation" once. This event occurred on the second to last day of my sophomore year. My friends and I usually hung out outside a classroom of a favorite teacher of ours and sometimes spent lunchtime inside. On this day the teacher had gone to lunch and left his door open so we spent the lunch break inside and someone closed the door. Later on a teacher knocked on and door to speak to the teacher of the room who wasn't there, some of the others in the room said to be quiet or we would be in trouble, my friend and I disregarded the inappropriate behavior of our fellow students and continued to draw. The teacher outside heard us inside so he gave the teacher of the room a call and that teacher called the school security because he was not present and did not know exactly what was going on. When they came they opened the door and the first thing they said was "you're all suspended", we weren't given a chance to let our voices be heard or tell why and how we came to be in the room. They suspended everyone present for 1 day, the next day, which was the last day of school.</p>

<p>That teacher was and is my homeroom or Po'okela teacher as it is called here. I have had him for all 4 years of my high school life and have become good friends with him. Most of the crowd I used to call "friends" were present but I have ceased to spend time with them. They were the 2.0 GPA, swearing, throwing stuff at people, and those often suspended or sent to the office. Since the day of this incident I haven't spent time with that group of people. I realized that I need to surround myself with people who I want to be like. Now I have become friends with the top students in my class, become a club president, and my grades and test scores have been on an upward trend ever since. I know I play the innocent card here, think of that what you will, I know I could have chosen to intervene and I would not have gotten into trouble. I know that if I was in this situation again I would make the right choice. I know that if I am welcomed to your university I will try my best to make choices that will benefit not only myself, but also my peers, my community, and my university.</p>

<p>It’s too complicated and even after reading it I still don’t understand what happened.</p>

<p>You need to cut to the chase. “I was suspended for …” And then say a few more sentences about you learned from the event or how you have changed now. </p>