<p>Assignment:
Do circumstances determine whether or not we should tell the truth? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
Honesty is a necessary trait in humanity. In Harper Lees To Kill a Mockingbird a lie causes the bigotry of an entire town. Likewise, the Salem Witch Trials is a paradigm conveying the dangers of a lie. The Enron Scandal was caused by a series of lies and led to the demise of a company and the stock market. History and literature prove that honesty is indeed, the best way to advance society.
Tom Robinson, a black man, was accused of raping a woman, and was tried in court for this false accusation. Atticus Finch was the only man brave enough to defend Tom in court, and no matter what evidence was brought about the views of men were based entirely on racism. One womans lie cost Tom Robinsons life and name, as she was simply jealous that he would not have relations with her while he was working in her home. If she was honest Tom would have lived a modest life, and his reputation would not have been tarnished.
In the early 1600s settlers of Salem were drowned in a series of lies that caused mass hysteria. A witch hunt was held, and any woman that owned land or was different was tried for witchcraft. The lies of one little girl led to a domino effect, as more lies were told and nothing good came of them. Lies are almost always accompanied by jealousy, as people feel the need to put someone else down for personal fulfillment. Furthermore, the deaths of the alleged witches were in fact caused by lies, and therefore, died for no reason.
The Enron Scandal led to the largest bankruptcy in history to date. The bankruptcy was caused by a series of exploited loopholes and hidden debt. The latter caused a serious stock meltdown after its revelation and stocks fell from record highs to record lows. If the men in charge of Enron were truthful then stockholders and investors alike would have suffered fewer fiscal losses. Enrons bankruptcy led to the creation of legislature in which companies were forced to offer reports to ensure history would not repeat itself.
Honesty is a principle of life that is necessary for those who wish to prosper. Whether its a white lie or a matter of life or death all lies are one in the same. The initial lie is almost never the problem, as the lies that stack upon that foundation causes the hysteria and chaos displayed in history and literature. One lie, especially from a person in power, can drastically alter the course of history.</p>
<p>Good essay, but it does have a few issues.
-In your first paragraph you write “Likewise, the Salem Witch Trials is a paradigm conveying the dangers of a lie. The Enron Scandal was caused by a series of lies and led to the demise of a company and the stock market.” Try to add a transition between the two sentences, other wise it seems choppy.
-You write "Whether it’s a “white lie” or a matter of life or death all lies are one in the same. " in the last paragraph. I understand what you’re saying here, but try to make it clearer. For example: Whether it’s a petty “white lie” or a lie that could alter the course of a man’s life…
-No hook. You get right into the question. I understand it’s tough to get a 3 example essay done in 25 minutes, but you’re going to need a hook. </p>
<p>That being said, this should at least a 10, maybe even an 11. I should inform you that the average grader gets lazy after reading hundreds of essays. They begin to just want get through them. Sometimes that means simply stamping a 5 on an essay because it seems to be long enough, and no grader is going to give it a 3 or lower. It’s sad, but it’s the truth. Add a strong hook to possibly avoid being labeled another 5 right away.</p>
<p>EDIT: I should add that your conclusion is much stronger than the previous ones you’ve written. Your biggest weakness is that your introduction paragraphs aren’t very strong.</p>
<p>It was pretty good, I’d give it a 10. I saw some grammar mistakes, needed more transitions, and thesis could be a little better.</p>
<p>A 10-11 depending on how well you fit two of the pages. (Depends on your writing)</p>
<p>will smoother transitions get me the prized 12 we all aim for?</p>