Essay help please?

<p>Anyone willing to read my essay for applying to Williams College?</p>

<p>I don't really want to post it right on the forum, but I really want some feedback. My parents don't really know what to look for when checking the essay out. I give it to my english teacher and the only help he gave me was underling the 3 times I used the word get - I changed two of them. I can proofread to an extent but of course I am biased.</p>

<p>Anyway, I would REALLY appreciate anyone who took the time to read an comment on my essay.</p>

<p>If you will, please email me at <a href="mailto:hemms_dreams@hotmail.com">hemms_dreams@hotmail.com</a>.
I'll email it to anyone who will help. Thx so much!</p>