essay help

Hows this for an essay intro? I know it needs work, its a first draft. Input and suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!

<pre><code> My life, at a glance, must seem to be the epitome of that of a teenage girl. I’m always laughing and goofing off with my friends, of whom I seem to be joined with at the hips, shopping every weekend, worrying about what I’m going to do one night, and not appearing to care about what takes place the next. In fact, I probably don’t appear to have a care in the world.
Become involved in the scene you have just viewed, and you will find that first glances can be misleading. You’ll find that I’m an intelligent, mature, opinionated, extremely ambitious individual, an adult struggling to completely free herself of the bonds of adolescence, and most importantly, a girl who has her own story to tell, no matter how cliché her life may appear to a spectator.
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<p>But what's the topic of the essay?</p>