Essay Help

<p>My Amherst Essay, what do y'all think......it is nothing like any essay I have ever written but...</p>

<p>"I'm not a machine. I feel and believe. I have opinions. Some of them are interesting. I could, if you'd let me, talk and talk...."</p>

<p>Twenty years ago, a disease spread like wildfire through a community of minorities. No one noticed. It was not until the victims of political injustice banded together that they brought AIDS to the attention of the world and carried their demands into a law. Today, the power of a group of individuals who share beliefs and fight for what they believe in is still capable of creating change. Unfortunately, this organization of thought rarely includes the average American. While today’s citizens still care about their communities, many are no longer convinced that politics and government matter. In the 1960’s former Speaker of the House Tip O’Neill asserted that "All politics is local." But is that true today? Television has fundamentally changed campaigns by shifting the focus from grassroots organizing to costly advertising. For the vast majority of Americans, politics is less and less local; elections happen only on television. When this is the only place politics happen it is easy to become apathetic and disengaged for politics becomes no more relevant than any other television spectacle. In this sense, politics has adapted to the changing culture just like other institutions. In order for our nation to grow, however, those who have long remained politically apathetic must take an active role in their government by voting in elections and coming together to seek change. </p>

<p>Protests occur daily, demonstrations are held by the thousands, and the average American seems unhappy with his political representative. As frequently as the citizens of the world speak up, however, many refuse to listen. The ability to cross cultures or ethnicities has diminished greatly. While those who are protesting the war stand in front of the Capitol, the pro-life demonstrators are at the gates of the White House, neither finding time to listen to each other’s views. </p>

<p>For this reason, it has become increasingly important for the active exchange of ideals to exist. While Bill O’Reilly and Michael Moore may trade jabs for the money and the fame, it is the voters who must come to their own conclusions through listening and respecting those who they normally would not. Whether it be in school, on the subway, or across the internet, a healthy dialogue is the only cure to a world that is increasingly divided. Without this, the ability to unite and bring peace to the world is almost nonexistent.</p>

<p>What's the topic/prompt? Important issue?</p>

<p>I like your hook in the first paragraph - it's very effective at getting the reader's attention.</p>

<p>hey zant, the prompt is the quote.</p>

<p>i don't really like any of the 5 prompts....this was the best i could do!</p>

<p>oooh, i didn't really know how to answer the amherst supplementals so...i'm leaving those for december 15+</p>

<p>hah, they are bizarre, they give you a quote - thats it. nothing else. no question is even being asked...</p>

<p>actually ilcapo they do - look again:
"talk and talk"</p>

<p>:rolleyes:</p>

<p>lol haha that is weird
none of my schools have weird essays (yes that is how i pick schools. easily rules out uchicago and northwestern, altho i didn't like them anyway)</p>

<p>i give the essay a C+</p>

<p>hah ok well i tried.</p>

<p>maybe you could expand on that ec? i know i'd be frustrated if someone said that about something i wrote but didn't give me constructive criticism to help me improve it</p>

<p>that being said, i think what you have is good but you should try to put a more personal spin on it. how does it affect YOU, and your day-to-day life? you could keep what you have and just throw in an additional, more personal paragraph</p>

<p>just a thought, commendations on getting stuff started ahead of time! i'm so behind on mine</p>

<p>haha, i just did that to **** ilcapo off</p>

<p>i'm telling you the truth</p>

<p>Essays should NOT BE political, they should be about YOU and your personality</p>

<p>you do definitely run the risk of offending your interviewer, if they don't agree with your views. it's a chance one has to take, i guess</p>

<p>come on ilcap - just throw in one of those princeton essays the parents forum wrote for you</p>

<p>i dont really care about offending an adcom politically. but anyways, i will improve the essay - cause i don't love it.</p>

<p>gianievve - so jealous of my beautiful essays, aren't you?</p>

<p>to take on the persona of ilcapo for a moment, i would gladly "grace you all" with my beautiful essays, but i'm an enigma, remember?</p>

<p>hehehe ilcapo - offended by the challenge?
<em>blows kiss</em></p>

<p>haha yes i suggest u make it more unbiased =P</p>

<p>naw, kidding, the photography one was quite cool (i would never have guessed it was you ilcap)
....but then again, maybe that's because it <em>wasn't</em> :D</p>

<p>[searches ilcapo's archives to find his essay]</p>