Essay rating please

<p>Quote:</p>

<p>When you reach an obstacle, turn it into an opportunity. YOu have the choice. YOu can overcome and be a winner, or you can allow it to overcome you, and be a loser. It is far better to be exhausted from success than to be rested from failure.</p>

<p>Assignment: What is your view of the idea that every obstacle can be turned into an opportunity?</p>

<p>my essay:</p>

<pre><code>Many people go through obstacles each day. The key question is what he does with that obstacles. As Mary Ash said, a person can overcome the obstacle or let it overcome him. Just like any other human beings, I face obstacles every day, but I always keep a mindset to thrive to become better. I remember myself recording every errors I made in baseball team last year. I always kept a mindset of learning from my mistakes. My second experience is my English language barrier. It always had and always has given me hard time understand the language, but I did not let it overcome me. I fought and still fighting thorugh my natural obstacles, and I made sure that I learned my lesson from each problems. Each obstacles give me a chance to strive to become a better, more established person.

I remember an old poster hanging in my chemistry class last year. It said, "An error doesn't become a mistake until you learn from it." I put that into practice when I recorded all of my errors in the baseball team. After every game, I sat in a dugout writing all the fielding and batting errors I made. Sometimes, they were significant, sometimes they weren't. But I made sure of one thing: Never make the same mistake twice. At the end of that year, I received the Most Improved Player of the Year.

My primary obstacles, however, is my language barrier. I came to America about five years ago, still learning the language. I could not communicate with others and was stuck in the program of ESOL, so I really did not have chance to talk to real Americans even if I had spoken the language well. However, I have come a long way, now finishing off my last year in high school with GPA over 4.0. Whenever I was distraught about my inability to speak the language fluently, I only looked to strive further and not settling anything lower than my potential.

Every obstacles give each people a lesson regardless of its significance. It's just up to each individual what he does with it and how he takes it. In conclusion, every obstacles give a potential lesson to strive to be better than who we are now.
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<p>Thank you in advance</p>

<p>A tip-- don't put that much detail about your examples in the intro paragraph. It's kind of repetitive, because you say the same things in your body paragraphs. Just VERY briefly touch upon each example-- maybe about 1 sentence about each example in the intro paragraph.</p>

<p>8? Maybe? Not sure.</p>

<p>i second kristina</p>

<p>would anyone else like to read over mine?</p>

<p>Many people go through obstacles each day. The key question is what he does with that obstacles.</p>

<p>people/he</p>

<p>does not flow. </p>

<p>error not errors</p>

<p>a hard time.</p>

<p>ok haha you arent a native speaker i see.</p>

<p>i dunno 6 i would guess a lot of basic mistakes.</p>