Essay Review- I'm suck...

<p>So my story is that i'm not an american student, and english isn't my first language..
But i want to study in the us, therefor i'm taking the ACT in sunday, and my wickest part is the writing. any tips for that : The main prompt was if it is fair that admission officiers use the contact of social networking sites as one of the applications weightings... Pg 417 princton 1296 ACT practice Questions. </p>

<p>What has the admission officers come to? Are a student application is not the proper way to introduce itself? The question whether admission officers should look for unfiltered information on social networking sites has often been asked. Some might think that it is legit and reasonable to do so in our social technological era, while others believe that the right way, is the "regular" application with SAT or ACT scores. In my opinion the former rather than the latter holds true. </p>

<p>The main reason for my view has to do with our technological era which opened new ways to gather information. Above one billion people have a Facebook profile, which they maintain daily, some even hourly. These people share a huge amount of information about their lives, their extracurricular activities, and about their hobbies. Admission officers can see the true person behind the regulate personality which they find in the application. This is why look into this information can be crucial for admission officer's decisions if one is a fine choice to study at their university. </p>

<p>Other than the beneficial information admission officers can review in social networking sites, the standardized test can hurt students that have ADD. Personally I have a severe ADD problem which most noticeable in my capability to finish tests in the normal time limit. Therefore tests like the ACT, which have a crucial time limit, can not reflect my study skills as well as my knowledge. Also, I do many social volunteering activities which the admission officers can see information about on my Facebook page. In addition, I could not insert so much information on my activities in my application, this is way reviewing my social networking profiles can be beneficial for me as an applicant.</p>

<p>Some might argue that using social networking sites as evaluation tool is wrong and unfair. Yet if one introduce himself and confident in he or she's abilities and personality, one should not need to be afraid from the information the admission officers would find. Other might cite that Facebook is not a tool that can be use as "personality meter" but in our current reality, Facebook can be use as another evaluation tool, in addition to the standard one. </p>

<p>"It is not the test that show our personality it is our life" Helen Keller. Not only does the social networking sites are a great tool for admission officers to evaluate students extracurricular activities, but also so does a great tool for students to introduce themselves in addition to the raw regulate tests scores.</p>

<p>Aside from the obvious syntax issues, this is better (overall) than anything I’ve read here today.</p>

<p>What specific questions do you have?</p>

<p>Generally what are my issues and how can I fix it… and what score do u grade it? </p>

<p>I’m from Israel, there isn’t any ACT course in my country, so I don’t have anyone to ask …</p>

<p>Second, any tips for the start point? I mean
I read the prompt…
How u guys organize the outline ? - the regular way is to long for someone like myself who write a lot slower then american students.</p>

<p>Anyone? please tell me how u guys would grade it …</p>