Essay too negative?

Transfer Students
1

<p>My HS counselor is helping me with my transfer applications and having read my essay, she thinks that it's far too negative.</p>

<p>Frankly, I don't know what to do- I'm fundamentally unhappy at my school and desperately want a different kind of school entirely, but I don't know how to put a positive spin on a bad situation. I also did speak from my heart, but I don't know what more to do. Anyone have any suggestions? </p>

<p>"I read her essay and I must say it totally bashed XX. I know what she was trying to say, contrasting XX to what she really wants in a school but I think she needs to re-think her essay and not only put a positive spin on it but make it much more personal. She needs to dig deep, which I know is hard for her, and talk about what she is truly yearning for….not negate what she has now."</p>

2

<p>Why waste the time putting down your current school? That doesn’t tell the new school why you’d want to go there, just why you’re not happy now. Spend all the time in the essay speaking directly about the new school (you can imply what’s lacking at your current school by what you say you’re looking for at the new school).</p>

3

<p>just talk about your want to be new school instead of complaining about your old school, and talk about what was missing from your old school but how your new school makes up for it</p>