Essay vs Resume vs Counselor Rec. What information accompanies what?

So I’m a little vague on how you’re supposed to present yourself when applying. I understand that essays are meant to be where you get personal with college apps and describe an experience or desire basically. I also understand that you’re not supposed to send colleges resumes of what you’ve done in high school. (Correct me if I’m wrong on either of these points.) So how do you present extracurriculars and achievements to colleges? Do you give a resume to your counselor for them to use when writing a recommendation? Do you pick your top few and highlight those if you have a lot? How do you decide what’s best to emphasize? Thanks!

There is a place on the common app or whatever system the school you’re applying to uses where you can list your ECs and awards.