<p>since basically freshman year ive heard teachers telling me to always stay away from the three d's in college application essays: death, divorce, and disease. </p>
<p>however...during SAT prep today with my english teacher, i wrote a practice sat essay that was asking if it is possible to turn obstacles and dissadvantages into a positive experience. i wrote about losing one of my best friends, and how it was a much needed and positive wakeup call for me to stop the reckless behavior that i was engaging in. after writing it, not only did she say she would grade it a 6..but that she wanted me to type it out for her and possibly make it into one of my potential college essays. </p>
<p>i'm slightly iffy about turning this into one of my essays because i was always warned NOT to talk about something like this. i would love any sort of input regarding this, thank you!</p>
<p>i think in this case, it may be appropriate. the main concern of an admissions officer is that when you write about death, you are writing about something that happened to someone else, not you (unless, of course, you have some sort of supernatural power to write an admission essay post-mortem). The officers see this as a chance for the applicant to become more than a number and a piece of paper. They see this as the one chance to get to know the person behind the application. And if you write about something that didn't happen to you, it doesn't teach them much.</p>
<p>But, I think that as long as the focus of the essay remains on your personal growth with very little mention of the loss of your friend (which I'm sooo sorry about, by the way!), the admissions officer will get to know how you grew and that you have, in fact, grown. Just be sure to keep your loss as a minimal part of the essay. In fact, I'd almost say only mention it to explain what instigated your personal change/growth. Spend the remaining 475 words talking about how it changed you personally and it should be okay.</p>
<p>I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.</p>
<p>People say to avoid the three D's partly because they're difficult subjects to write about well--it's too easy to attempt to rely on cliches and highly dramatic language. If your essay moved your English teacher, that's a good sign that you've gotten beyond those pitfalls. How you write is more important than what you write about. To be sure the essay is working well, I would suggest showing it to at least one other adult who can give you impartial advice to confirm that it's not just her. Also, if you're still revising, make sure you're being as honest and specific as you can. You may even want to seek out other well-written essays about death to get some ideas about how to write about it successfully.</p>
<p>I also agree with the previous poster that focusing on how you've grown is key. Having read many other young writers' attempts at the three D's, I can tell you that a common pitfall is to focus on the drama of the event itself and then skimp on explaining what the significance is or convincing the reader that the change is real. The writer will be vague and conclude by stating that "this experience has taught me to value each day" without explaining what that means for him/her or how this has played out in his/her life. It sounds like your essay probably gives concrete proof that you've changed and thus is on the right track.</p>
<p>However, don't go in the other direction and skim over the death itself. While the focus needs to be on you and how you've changed, the reader needs to have a feel for the pain of the experience you went through so that he or she can understand its effect. Limiting yourself to a paragraph or two on the death is a good idea, but describing it in just a couple sentences would not be enough.</p>
<p>You may also want to consider how admissions committees might view your past reckless behavior. Overcoming this and your friend's death certainly shows you to be a strong person, and others would have responded to such circumstances by continuing along a downward spiral--but sometimes colleges can be a little paranoid about candidates with questionable pasts. You may want to talk to your guidance counselor about how to present this in the context of your whole profile as a student.</p>