<p>Marian, Re: your post ................................................................................................"As for hooking up one's own computer, this was my main reason for trying to discourage my daughter from signing up for a single-sex freshman dorm. I figured that in a co-ed dorm, there would be more computer-knowledgeable comp sci and engineering majors to advise her. But she signed up for the single-sex dorm anyway (because she doesn't want to live with drunken frat boy types, and at the beginning of freshman year the future frat boys are still in the dorms because pledging hasn't taken place yet). Her logic is correct, but she may still have trouble with her computer." ............................................Don't worry about the single sex dorms. My daughters have found many many freshman female computer experts!</p>
<p>I'm still LOL about kids and alarm clocks. When she was in HS, my D had a loud and very annoying alarm clock. She could sleep through the noise and I always had to wake her up. She claims she never had a problem in college and never missed even an 8am class. How does that work?</p>
<p>Great list! I have a junior, and I'm already catching myself going all instructional on him. Somehow it seemed really important the other day to teach him how to light charcoal and know when it was just right for cooking. (Could this be because one of my memorable grad school moments was when fellow students allowed their professor's beautiful house to burn down when they had a barbeque while house-sitting??)</p>
<p>I'm not a parent, but I thought I would throw something in here.
I think that, if you are comfortable, you should talk to your children about drinking seriously, and not solely in a "don't drink and drive" kind of way. Having just recently returned from four consecutive "admit weekends," I witnessed SO many people (I would guess around 20) who had never dranken before and ended up throwing up in dorm bathrooms all night long, completely miserable and embarrassed. I'm not suggesting that everyone allow their kids to go loose and crazy with alcohol, but I think helping your kid figure out what their personal limits are and to recognize certain things ('ok, I'm drunk now,' 'ok, I shouldn't have another one if I don't want a hangover') etc. is valuable information. My mom kind of grew up in Europe and so I have always been raised around alcohol a little bit differently, but I'm so glad that I could learn about it and its effects from my parents (who actually know what they're doing) than from a tipsy senior at a keg party my freshman year. I know many of you have kids who won't drink next year, and that's very respectable, but a lot of kids will drink even if they have never had a sip in high school (and obviously you all know this, I'm not trying to be condescending). I know that I'm not a parent, so I don't know if this is valid advice, but from someone who has spent MANY a sober night taking care of extremely sick drunk friends, I wish that parents could be realistic and help their kids "figure things out" before they head off for parentless parties.</p>
<p>j07 - thanks for your post; it's definitely something to add to the list!</p>
<p>i agree 100% with what j07 said (i'm a sr in highschool now, starting college this summer)</p>
<p>the whole, "don't drink" ...wierd pause.... "ok mom/dad, i won't" thing isn't going to work. doesn't matter what you say, your kid is either going to drink or they aren't. </p>
<p>it's much better that they get drunk near home, end up hugging a toilet all night, feel like hell the day after..now, than wind up with alcohol poisoning at their first party 100/5000 miles away from home. </p>
<p>not saying you should go out and buy a bottle of vodka for them to keep in their room, but if you get a call at night asking for a ride home or if they aren't home by their curfew, yelling at them might not be the best thing to do. </p>
<p>$0.02</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Make sure your child knows how to be organized. It doesn't matter how your child did in regards to test scores, extracurriculars, awards, and honors in high school, if they don't know how to organize and manage their time wisely and efficiently and effectively, they will not last long in college.</p></li>
<li><p>Make sure your child knows how to keep themselves clean and presentable. This means being hygienic, knowing how to do laundry, and knowing how to dress for class, work, interviews(be they for jobs or internships), and socializing. You'd be surprised at the number of younger college students I see walking around campus(far away from the dorms) in their pajamas, or the number of kids I see wearing horribly wrinkled clothing in the hallways during the day.</p></li>
<li><p>While we're on the subject of clothing; Make sure your child knows that college is not a fashion show. The telltale sign that someone is a freshman is if they're decked out from head to toe in expensive clothing in an 8:00am lecture hall class.</p></li>
<li><p>Make sure your child knows how to use the public transportation systems around campus. This includes knowing how to use the city bus/subway/el lines, knowing how to call for a taxicab if they need a ride back to campus after a late night party or study session at a friend's apartment, and knowing how to order/buy plane, train, or bus tickets in case they need to come home for breaks or emergencies.</p></li>
<li><p>In addition to #4, make sure your child knows where points of interest are in the city that surrounds your child's campus. In some courses, students may be required to go to a museum, a theater, the public library, etc. for assignments. They might also want to visit such places at their leisure.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>
[quote]
5. In addition to #4, make sure your child knows where points of interest are in the city that surrounds your child's campus. In some courses, students may be required to go to a museum, a theater, the public library, etc. for assignments. They might also want to visit such places at their leisure.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Sorry, I have to disagree with that one. Other than knowing how to use a public transportation system in general (like, how to read the schedule, knowing whether the system requires exact change, etc.), I think that learning the specifics of the local system and the local city are things that the student should learn on his/her own. If a student is required to go to a museum, he or she should be able to figure out where it is without parents drawing the map. At least there should be somewhere on campus that can give her the information, and she should learn how to use those resources. But that's something I think she needs to learn on her own. Why should I learn my kid's new venue better than she does?</p>
<p>You're right Chedva. Number 5 should say "Make sure sure your child knows how to find points of interest in the city that surrounds your child's campus." Meaning they should know how to ask for directions, read maps, and use the city's yellow pages if needed.</p>
<p>Our DS having gotten most of his college years behind him, and with the vast experience of hindsight, I fully concur with Tanyanubin and the others that the most important thing you can teach your offspring is how to [and TO] deal with others in order to get - or at least try to get - something you need. How to negotiate situations with your roommate(s), how to deal with the college bureaucracy, especially the financial offices, to straighten out something, how not to take "no" for the only answer, how to have a better shot at getting into courses or programs you want, and most recently, how to negotiate with someone about a summer rental.</p>
<p>Our DS is a cautious fellow so we weren't terribly concerned that somwthing might befall him due to unwarranted rashness (except perhaps overindulging in ECs at college). I expected him to drink, and quickly learned that once he saw one of his friends pretty drunk he decided that he didn't want to look that way himself (i'm not sure that he really knows his capacity, though, any more than most adults do).</p>
<p>This thread is making the transition from high school to college sound harder than it actually is.</p>
<p>For most families of seniors, this isn't a cram list of what we need to start to teach our seniors before they leave--its a review list so that we can catch things that we might not have considered that other parents found important.</p>
<p>Many of us still have 3-4 months before our kids leave for college. That is plenty of time to take on teaching a couple of skills that we might have missed.</p>
<p>Can I just add one more: grocery shopping. I cannot believe how many of D's friends (girls and boys both) do not do any family grocery shopping. I'm sure it hasn't been that long since they grocery shopped with their parents, but some of them seem to have become brain dead as teenagers when they walk into a grocery store.</p>
<p>This is from a book review by Dave Barry which appeared in the New York Times this past Sunday. My wife and I got a few laughs out of it. Hope you enjoy. </p>
<p>"A few years back, when my son was in college, he had to mail a letter. I dont remember the specific reason, but I do remember having a conversation with him in which he complained bitterly about the amount of work involved finding a place where he could purchase a stamp, figuring out what kind of stamp he needed, actually writing the letter, locating an envelope, putting the letter into the envelope, having to physically leave his dormitory room to mail the envelope and so on. I grew exhausted just listening to him describe this series of arduous tasks, one coming right after another. I was glad, for my sons sake, that he never had to live in a world as I once did where the only way to change channels was to walk all the way to the TV set and manually turn a knob."</p>
<p>OK, I think he's ready. Laundry - check, food purchase & prep - check, cleaning skills - check, car maintenance - check, dress OK when needed - check, basic grooming - check except for toenails and too sporadic shaving habit, ability to get on plane and navigate airports - check, able to be assertive when needed - check.... debit card usage - check....Question is am I ready??? Answer - probably not.</p>
<p>Does anyone actually use an iron anymore? I certainly would not buy any clothing that needs to be ironed. I used an iron about 5 years ago to put an ironon patch on my favorite jeans. Anything that needs pressing probably needs to go the dry cleaners.</p>
<p>Rats, I messed up that quote thing</p>
<p>Today I got a frantic message from my D, who had to get to her first job-where-you-can't-wear-jeans... she was trying to press her pants (a new skill) and had aquired double pleat marks down both legs! Don't know what she expected me to do from work, but she text-messaged Dad as well. We'll find out tonight if she felt funny all night since this will be so terribly noticable in that dimly lit restaurant!</p>
<p>As far as the ironing--when I need something pressed, I ask my son. He is so picky about his shirts that he won't even let me iron them. He did get away from it some at school, as setting up an iron was a hassle--but at home, he always presses his clothes.</p>
<p>He also is more than competent to stand up for himself. He has decided to transfer schools--this decision was made after we had paid a $500 nonrefundable deposit towards next year. I told him that there was no way the money would be refunded--it was in black and white "nonrefundable". He went to the appropriate office and kept asking for the next person in the chain until he finally got someone to refund the money! (They probably paid out of their own pocket just to get rid of him ;)).</p>
<p>His biggest questions to me have been how do you tell when food is spoiled and how to get stains out of clothes. Now when he has an apartment next year, I'm sure I'll be fielding lots of cooking questions --he's clueless there unless it involves a grill.</p>
<p>I figure Son is ready for college because for the last three years, every time his Sister did something stupid at college, I lectured him about how to do it right.</p>
<p>every morning my mom pours a bowl of cereal and adds milk and then goes and wakes my 18 year old sister up to come out for breakfast. somebody better teach her how to get up on her own or she'll be in for a shock in college :)</p>
<p>my problem with grocery shopping is how every single store is completely different from each other. it took me ages to figure out where everything was where i shopped in college, then i had to come home and now here i go to one of like six grocery stores and i have no clue where anything is in any of them. i go in with a list of five things and thirty minutes later i leave with four things and have no clue why i couldn't find the fifth.</p>
<p>I'm actually the opposite -- I'm going to miss grocery shopping in college. I buy fresh produce (mostly vegetables, since I am vegan) and cook for myself on a regular basis. It'll be difficult to adjust to eating food that someone else has prepared every day. :)</p>