evaluate an SAT essay?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Would any kind soul like to evaluate this SAT essay (Writing Skills section)? I'm curious about what score you think it might get, but I'm mostly looking for potential improvements that could lead to a better score.</p>

<p>Here is the prompt (the important parts, anyway):</p>

<p>"In her novel <em>Sense and Sensibility</em>, Jane Austen wrote, 'It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.' ... the point that Miss Dashwood makes is valid. No amount of time spent in another person's company can guarantee that the two of you will become friends.</p>

<p>What are your thoughts on the idea that neither time nor opportunity can determine intimacy? What causes two people to become friends? Compose an essay in which you express your views on this topic. Your essay may support, refute, or qualify the views expressed in the excerpt..."</p>

<p>And here is the essay:</p>

<p>In Jane Austen's novel "Sense and Sensibilty" when she writes "Seven years would be insuffeicent to make some people aquainted with each other and seven days is enough for others. My views on that are that it depends on the people. Sometimes there can be an instant connection between people where they automatically know each other well. For other people, it may take longer beacuse it doesn't really matter, how well they get along with each other, it's just that they may take longer to get to know each other.</p>

<pre><code> I think that the instant connection I mentioned above has to do with personality similarites and intrests. Like if two people have similar intrests, they might become closer faster. Most of my friends who I connected with fast have similar intrests, hobbies and personalities. I think what causes people to become friends is mutual intrests and how much they like each other from the start. Because if two people do not really like each other from the start, They are not going to have the ability to be friends and spend time together.
</code></pre>

2

<p>testing testing</p>

3

<p>At a time when the vast majority of SAT prep forum posters are still waiting for their Oct. scores, it’s not a very good idea to ask for SAT essay help, but I’ll give it a shot. It’s been a while since I’ve graded one.</p>

<p>To be blunt, 2/6. I almost mistaked your essay for an extension of the prompt, but I tried to not let that influence my assessment. First of all, about 95% of your essay is an infinite quotation because you never ended the quotation before “Seven years…” You quoted Jane Austen, but you fail to support your thesis with anything else. A quote is good because of its ability to interest readers, but its purposes are fairly limited. The rest of your essay is supported only by generalizations and shallow personal experience. You failed to present me with a persuasive argument and therefore I can give a 2/6 at best. Believe me, this isn’t the worst grade you’ll get on CC.</p>

<p>EDIT: Since you’re looking for things to work on, try coming up with 2 examples that support your point. 2 is good to work on for now and once you can come up with them in less than a minute or 30 seconds, depending on how you want to pace yourself, try coming up with over 3 examples in a minute. Make sure your examples are relevant and effectively support your thesis.</p>

4

<p>Dear R3d3mpti0n,</p>

<p>Thank you so much for your reply. Sorry, but I have one quick question: I’m not sure what you mean about the timing. Do you mean that it’s a bad idea because I’m not likely to get a response? Or do you mean that I’m being insensitive in some way by asking for help at this time? If what I did was insensitive to anyone, I apologize. But if you could help me understand why this was insensitive, that would help me do better in the future, as I’m pretty confused right now about what you mean.</p>

<p>Thank you again,</p>

<p>timbruce54</p>