New to this site. Decided I should write down my thoughts here. If this is the wrong forum to post this in, please tell me so.
I can’t stand looking at this college website, because every time I do, I want to break down.
I’ve recently graduated high school a few days ago at the time of writing this, and I’ve received an acceptance letter from this college before then. My biggest issues at the moment are the overwhelming anxiety and fear I can physically feel in my gut every time I try to prepare or even think about college.
i can’t even bring myself to do anything to prepare. most of the time i just stare at the checklist said college gave me and hope to some unknown power it completes itself for me. my parents are very excited for me to go to college, but myself, especially when looking back at how i felt when first applying, am scared. this fear is stopping me from being able to do anything productive with my time. what im most afraid of is the process of preparing for college and all the unnecessary complications that may come between me and getting to where i want. im not even excited anymore. every time i think about signing up for housing and orientation i want to vomit all over the place. i hold off from completing necessary tasks because of my fear, and the more time i waste the nastier looks my parents give me. i tell them i have nerves about going to college and am afraid they’ll take it as laziness, since my #1 stress killer is playing video games, and since im stressed about this stuff everyday, i play every day. its giving me this horrible anxiety that further prevents me from actually doing what i need to, and the cycle continues. i cant go on like this. i need to stop being so scared and must finally tear off the bandaid, but i cant tell when im supposed to do it and how. im afraid of having more opportunities closed off before me than previously.
tl;dr: signing up for college makes me scared because it’s a process, my parents are silently judging me for not doing things sooner and the general college fear, like living alone or managing time properly
How about if you try to make yourself do just one task per day to get ready? The whole checklist can be overwhelming. Start with whatever is most time critical. Just do the one thing, then reward yourself somehow and ignore it until the next day. Rinse and repeat.
If you don’t understand a task, call the college and ask.
I get it — it is stressful to start “adulting”, you are anxious about college in general, and you have never had to deal with some of these issues.
Do you think your parents would go along with the one task a day idea, and help you if something stumps you? If they know you have a plan and are really working on it, they will probably be happy.
I agree, sometimes when faced with a whole list of tasks, it’s overwhelming. What I do is copy one or two of the most pressing items, the stuff that needs to be done soonest, onto a separate note. Put the main list aside and focus on the copied, short list. Complete those tasks, then go back to the main list. Mark them off, and copy a few more to a new shirt list. You will chip away at the main list, and gain confidence in your ability to complete it.
Are there items for n the list that will require your patents’ input? Delegate! “Hey, can you help me make sure our health insurance will work when I’m away…”. Or ask their opinion on the various meal plans, as you make your decisions. It will show them you are thinking about these things moving forward, and not just avoiding everything by playing video games. Also, I can’t tell from your post if you have told them you’re nervous or not. Let them know what’s going on in your head!
I second trying to pull in your parents for help/support. And as others have said, do one thing at a time. Some of the check list items will be super easy, others will require more time. I think once you start it, it will feel better and more manageable.
Going away from home for the first time is scary for many students. You aren’t alone!
You are exhibiting signs of anxiety. Do you have other signs of anxiety?
I would talk to your parents…it may be time to get evaluated.
In the mean time, get your list out and talk to your parents and ask for help doing the tasks.
This may be a generational thing, but when I have an overwhelming amount of things to do, I will handwrite a list. There is something really satisfying about physically marking things off a list as you get them done. It’s like a little boost that keeps you going. And then as you go, you can see what all you have accomplished. Deleting items from a phone list just doesn’t have the same impact.
Normally I keep a list on my calendar, but on those really overwhelming days I always handwrite the list. You could start with your easiest items and as you mark them off, it help your sense of accomplishment grow to tackle the big stuff.
Use your search engine to find ‘the dark playground’, which will explain what’s happening and how you can get out of it.
Please talk to your parents or at least one of them.
I agree with tackling the list a little at a time. Divide in a way that makes sense to you. When I have a list like that, I sort it chronologically, in the order things are due, then by complexity (starting tasks that require more work to get done first and doing them in steps) and then by easiness. One task that my kids wanted me to help them with was class selection, at least the first semester. Neither of my 2 kids who went away is really strong, visually spatially so I made a grid on paper, wrote course names on post-its and put them on the grid. The beauty of this system is that you can move them around to “see” your schedule. I guess this can be done on the computer or phone but I don’t have that kind of brain nor do my kids. When they were registered, I made them a permanent grid to carry around. Actually, I still do this for my youngest son.
As another example, if you have to register for orientation by a certain date - talk to your parents about when to go now, ask them to make the payment (unless you handle the money, my kids do not) and then put that item away once you are signed up.
If you need to get your immunization record and health papers in by a certain date, ask your mom to get them for you now and make a copy. If something has to be done for your health insurance up at school, ask your mom.
The list may have things like what supplies you need? Please enlist your mom - most of us crave being useful and would love to help you with things like that as well.
I also suggest that you ask your parents to set up an appointment with a counselor, at least one. The feelings you are having are normal, you need to understand that. You are brave and self-aware for acknowledging them. Seek help.
Good luck.
Hey, deep breathing. Going to college is so different than when I went - in good and bad ways. Can you break it down into priorities and then work on one thing per day for this coming week?. One important, but painless task is immunization records. Print the forms and have your goal to drop them at doc. by Wednesday.
Think about a color coding in your mind or on paper. Forms, Fun, Future. Forms - do anything form related in the mornings. Fun - balance with some fun stuff: getting items for your dorm room, reaching out to other first years, recycling high school papers. Future - if it is really something for August - keep that on a separate piece of paper or another area on your list. I tell my girls it’s like the Hungry Caterpillar. One little color at a time. Being overwhelmed is both natural and can be helped if it gets out of hand. If you find yourself still paralyzed, be honest with your parents and tell them you are having true anxiety. You might need them to step in and help you or to get in with a counselor this summer. Do not look at the bigger list until you have made a little progress. Take care of yourself.