<p>^^^^Bill, thank you for that reminder. Reporting and confirming are different, and I can just imagine the stress the conflict must have put on her. For all we know, the tears were a result of being put into a position of having to testify against someone whom she had accepted an apology as resolution to the issue at hand, and not a response to what was said. We just don't know. </p>
<p>I just want to say that I respect the comments and insights offered by all the posters above, even though I may hold to a different view on some of them. Believe it or not, I have both a daughter and a son. I don't want my daughter to be a victum of some over zealous, aggressive male figure, nor do I want my son to be a victum of some crazed female drama queen. I pray I have given each of them the tools to deal with both....time will tell. But what I have tried to impart in them is to respect themselves and tolerate only what they are deserving of.</p>
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As to the empowerment issue, get serious. You're telling me that a stellar student with a laundry list of accomplishments cannot muster the courage to tell the guy "I feel uncomfortable and embarrassed when you use graphic sexual terms and explicit language. I would like you to refrain from using this terminology and language in my presence."
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<p>It is possible. How old was she? 18? 19? How old are you? 40's? 50's? Entirely possible. It took me well into my 30's to be able to speak up to some of the idiots walking around with MDs after their names. Call me a slow learner, but as Z can vouch that I can stand up for myself. Unfortunately, some women never get there, even in this day and age. </p>
<p>Who is to say this was the first exposure for this Mid to a teacher such as this? Could she have handleed it better? Sure! Certainly the way you suggest would have been better....but how long did it take you to be able to do that? 18? 20? 25? 30????? And just how many incidents did you have to "tolerate" before you came to the realization that you had had enough? The first indicent? The 10th? The 50th? Who knows how much "experience" this kid had in handling an inappropiate adult....was this her first? Her 10th? Her 50th? Obviously she did not have such a well-honned response at the "ready" in her "tool box" of skills at the time the incident occurred....no doubt she will now for the next time some idiot comes across with the same kind of blatent, ignorant comment.</p>
<p>The bottom line is that his behavior was inappropiate, and as someone sitting in a postion of teacher, totally not acceptable. This is not rocket science. He knew enough to apologize...which means he knew he was wrong in the first place. And from what was reported, this was not a one-time slip of the tounge.....it was a repeated pattern of behavior. It was not enough to speak about how "turned on" at the very site of that floating gray hull...no, he has to ask her if she got aroused as well! So tell me, did he ask her shipmates if they also got their jollies on? Absolutely not! It was meant to embarrass HER....to humiliate HER...to demean HER..... if it was said simply as "jest," simply a joke in poor taste, then he would have asked everyone that was there.....but that is not what he did....he put HER on the spot.....</p>
<p>And then he offers some apology. And then he continues with other just-as-inappropiate comments. Over the course of a week. In a confined environment to a captive audience. </p>
<p>So what you are left with is a teacher who knows wrong from right, makes a conscious choice to ignore that, and acts surprised when he finally gets called to task for his behavior. Sorry, I don't buy it. </p>
<p>I do expect teachers to walk the talk. Teach honor. Teach respect. Walk the talk. Don't want to be a role model? Then stop teaching. Either climb aboard or risk being removed. </p>
<p>Enough is enough, and there has been enough education and warning for all. It's time to step up to the plate and comply. Can't do it? Then go elsewhere.</p>
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No one can take your "power" unless you give it to them.
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<p>I agree. The only problem with this is that while our young women, or anyone for that matter, are going through the learning curve, they remain at at a clear disadvantage...especially with adults who have BTDT. I can forgive her ignorance...this time. I can't forgive his. The guy has no place as a teacher of the future officers of the US Navy if he is unable to restrain his mouth. IMHO.</p>
<p>Like I said, you get what you tolerate, therefore you get what you deserve. </p>
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As to the core values, is it honorable to accept an apology and then renege? Also, it seems perhaps the others who came to her and to whom she confirmed the incident may have issues which they were using her to bring to light. Also not entirely honorable to use someone with a more vulnerable position to crucify someone you are (reasonably) angry with. Defend your own issues.
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<p>No, I would not consider it an honorable thing to accept an apology and then pull a 180.....but it sounds like that is not what happened here.</p>
<p>One would hope our young people would be able to make their own choices and defend their own positions. Z is correct, we know just what has been reported, which is hardly an arguement for a balanced understanding. It would seem that this young lady accepted an apology, and as Bill pointed out, confirmed the information when questioned....under stress it would appear....sounds as if this conflict that she found herself in was difficult, and IMHO, not of her doing. </p>
<p>What remains troublesome to me is several points:</p>
<p>First, that a teacher would be the root cause of this. Others, I can almost understand; the difficulty I have is that he is a teacher...good, bad or indifferent, he sets the tone, and IMHO, he should have known better, and since he apparently doesn't, he should be removed.</p>
<p>Second, I am troubled that this mid was used once again...as someone posted, by other female mids that reported the incident, thus forcing (not sure that is the word I want to use) but certainly having the incident escelated to a level that was not intended. What served as the motivation for this remains unclear....but could it have been because there were other similiar incidents concerning this teacher? Could it have been that the collective body had enough? </p>
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As to the "The guy is in charge of the girl..." Can you spell HYPOCRISY. Please. And Bill Clinton wasn't in power over Monica. How can you lionize the man who did essentially the same thing (oh, wait, it may even be worse than saying naughty words...) and villify this guy who used words in a most repugnant way?
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<p>???? How did Bill Clinton get into the discussion???? I would pull the lever for HILLARY..... the other half already disgraced the White House. </p>
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I can suffer a difference of opinion provided the underlying general intent is sincere, logical, and puts the right principles first. For example, I have met Navy2010, and while I may disagree with her on this topic, I find her to be a fundamentally decent and honest person who wants the best for the Service and for the country. We may view this issue a bit differently, but I know that she wants the true best to come forth. I can (and do) respect that despite some differences of opinion.
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<p>Thanks Z.... I knew you would restore my faith! ;) Your girls are in good hands!!!!</p>
<p>Whistle Pig:</p>
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There are a great many women in this world who've bought into the 2010 posture and belief, along with both the explicit and implied notions put forth in the Baltimore Sun piece. Thearticulation so often is extremist in its tone. Appalled. Udderly. Speechless. Outraged. Many UPPER CASED words. It all minimizes those things which we should be truly outraged about but sadly aren't. For many, this has become the battlefield on which to take the last stand.
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<p>Not enough women. Still too much "it's ok" mentality. Uppercase words....sorry...would have used italics if I wasn't so computer-challenged. Lastly, this is hardly the last battleground as you suggest....just a tired old war that has long ago seen its day....extremist? No, just walking the talk....I have taught my kids to be respectful of themselves and others. I expect no less....for them, from them. I am just a mom trying to support her son and daughter, trying to get them from point A to point B safely, trying to get them launched on their own trajectory.... not always doing a great job, but always trying to set the standard.... trying to remind them that there is lots of injustice and ignorance in the world, but always mindful to teach them not to add to it, not to tolerate it, and always with the focus on trying to be a part of the solution instead of the problem. Just your average, everyday mom trying to do her best. Sometime succeeding, sometimes falling short, but always trying.</p>