<p>Scales, you can’t knee-jerk like that. Although it’s true that PA talks a better “fun” game, the competitive environment there is every bit as intense. You’d better be prepared for it, it is a significant element of the experience.</p>
<p>Fun and Competitive is my style xD</p>
<p>And Andover isn’t in the middle of nowhere xD</p>
<p>scales, our son was accepted at both Andover and Exeter, which created sort of a “you can’t go wrong choice” because these are arguably two of the very best schools. However, even (particularly?) here, “fit” is still all-important. After experiencing re-visit days at both schools, and thereafter thinking about it for 2-3 weeks, he chose Exeter. He was particularly attracted to the kind-spirited interactions among and between students that he observed at Exeter. I suspect that the Harkness pedagogy, and perhaps the dress code too, nurture a climate of strong mutual respect among Exeter students. His experiences thus far at Exeter seem to confirm that too.</p>
<p>Hi everyone, this is my first post on CC. I stumbled on this site while preparing my college applications. I’m a senior at Exeter, and I just want to talk about my experience here.</p>
<p>This school is tough. It’s hard. If you’re coming here to have fun as in partying Friday night, it’s probably not gonna happen (but it CAN).</p>
<p>I complain about Exeter with my friends, too. It’s the usual stuff: classes on Saturdays, “dining hall food sucks” and “I don’t get any sleep.” But for all the trivial complaining I do, at the end of the day, I’m happy about the place.</p>
<p>Classes on Saturday are not that bad. Dining hall food is perfectly fine. We get plenty of sleep if we manage our time well enough. Last term (senior fall, supposedly one of the hardest terms), I got five hours every night and got good grades. The only reason I had five was I wake up early. If you wanted to, you could get 7+ hours of sleep.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t really call the young alumni doing their own thing a “slap in the face”. Are all the college freshmen going to parties saying “Screw you mom and dad”? They’re just liberated kids trying to have a little fun, and even then, these “drunk and high” kids constitute a TINY minority of the young alumni at E/A.</p>
<p>It’s tough here, but for me, that’s been a defining part of my experience. This place is great. In my four years here, I only know of two people who left voluntarily (not including withdrawing in the face of a major disciplinary case). I’ll bet $75 (which would cover a college application fee) that if you come here, you won’t leave of your own free will and accord.</p>
<p>Izzy,</p>
<p>There really is MORE freedom at BS depending on the family environment. My daughter tells me stories that are remarkably similar to my time at Exeter. </p>
<p>The reason you see some of these situations is that although there are rules and faculty operate as parents in absence, the students selected at most top boarding schools are expected to manage their schedules and their lives. They are living on huge campuses with a lot of room to “maneuver.” And just as parents can’t see what their students are doing 24-7 neither can faculty. 1-3 dorm parents are managing, say 15-45 students in addition to their own families. I don’t know about you, but it’s a larger load than we as parents have in our “natural” habitats.</p>
<p>So for those parents listening in - if you think students have “less” freedom, they may need to rethink boarding school as an option. Because - really - the atmosphere works best for students who are self-sufficient. For all others - I suggest military schools.</p>
<p>Can you please recommend some good military schools?</p>
<p>LOL… So this thread should be renamed as “Exeter has 0% fun, so what about a military school?”</p>
<p>@DAndrew,
Lol, I second that!</p>
<p>Pulsar - there is always Wentworth Military Academy. My sister threatened to send her son there if he chose not to go to summer school (he’s a gifted slacker - sky high IQ, rock bottom effort and grades). He chose summer school and cleaned up - lol!</p>
<p>Here’s the ticket to the future: [Wentworth</a> Military Academy and College | good grades from bad grades at military school for boys and girls](<a href=“http://wma.edu/index.php]Wentworth”>http://wma.edu/index.php)</p>
<p>For the curious (or the brave), check out this link and read to the bottom of the page (NOTE: they look the same in this post, but the links go to different pages): </p>
<p>[Military</a> High School - Wentworth Military Academy and College | good grades from bad grades at military school for boys and girls](<a href=“http://wma.edu/High_School/page.php?page=Better%20Grades]Military”>http://wma.edu/High_School/page.php?page=Better%20Grades)</p>
<p>:-)</p>
<p>^ that’s a little scary… positive peer pressure? i can see it now!</p>
<p>“unless you stop gaming, we’ll beat you up…” :$</p>
<p>Lots of different thoughts going on in this thread,but I wanted to respond to the idea of “prep school should be fun” - I went to Exeter long ago, and no, I wouldn’t exactly call it fun, because it was a lot of work, and it was a shock to the system after getting good grades without trying very hard in public school. But looking back now, I am proud of what I did at boarding school. </p>
<p>There are a few things I would do differently - I didn’t take advantage of all the opportunities, though I did start to broaden my interests in my senior year. But overall, something to be proud of. </p>
<p>I hope my kids will be able to say the same, regardless of which school they go to, and so far, they look like they’re on the right track.</p>
<p>There is always the “fit” question that makes the student/school match work (or not). My D was admitted to both PA and PEA. Although there was legacy at PA our bet (based on interviews and the facilities) was on PEA until revisit. (Her PEA interview fell on President’s Day when no students were on campus.)</p>
<p>At PEA revisit we toured separately from our D. What struck us immediately was that none of the kids were smiling. None. Zero. No grins, no laughs. All day long. This was the week after spring break when you’d think kids would be a little more refreshed and loose. One of the faculty members commented that the promotional materials had been revamped by a marketing firm to make the school look more fun. The materials were indeed fun. The place was grim. When asked about student stress levels, one of the administrators proudly stated that more than 90% of the students took advantage of the confidential counseling services available through the campus medical staff. Hmmmm. I will say that I did enjoy the classes we attended and noted some very impressive, articulate students.</p>
<p>Our D later said she’d decided within 30 minutes of being on the PEA campus. She opted for PA which was the right decision for her. We met other parents/prospective students at both PA and PEA revisits who decided on PEA hands-down. We have friends who attended PEA and enjoyed their experience. It’s all about fit.</p>
<p>
Why did they say they’d choose the seemingly stressful no smile Exeter over Andover? I am very curious how people determine fit when they have great choices like PA and PEA?</p>
<p>Mainer needs to chime in here; I know his son had to think through the PA vs. PEA choice.</p>
<p>I’m thinking back to Parent’s Week-end and trying to assess the “smile factor” at PEA. I’d have to say that while my kid certainly has some smiley, lighthearted friends, PEA does seem to be a place that’s more serious than not. My kid’s always been a serious type, so I guess I didn’t see that as a bad thing. </p>
<p>What I was most drawn to was not the smiles, but the attentive, friendly, respectful interactions I saw between students. They’re taught in Harkness to really listen to each other, and the older students (based both on my observations and what my kid tells me) genuinely care about how the younger students are doing.</p>
<p>It’s not a typical high school for sure. And it’s not that I don’t want my kid to smile and have fun; he has a great sense of humor, and I’d say has more fun with like-minded friends at school than he does at home, where he’s often seen as too “intense”. I do think though, that as a society we tend to see stress and seriousness as all bad and lightheartedness and fun as all good. As the parent of a child who has had a serious, intense nature since he was born, that’s never seemed quite fair to me.</p>
<p>Nonetheless, I’d hate to see Exeter become a place where everyone’s exactly the same. So here’s hoping that some of you see the great stuff under the surface of those serious faces–or come across a few of my kid’s smiley friends while you’re touring!</p>
<p>Son was admitted to both PA and PEA. Trying to think back, differences are really shades of gray. Both excellent schools that could have provided a great BS experience. Everything was a factor in one way or another including viewbooks, campus layout, admissions office, interviews, revisit day, tour guides, dorms, class visits, meeting with coaches, watching students at athletic events, course catalogue, etc, etc. At a certain point, you want your child to be part of one experience or the other, and you hope you make the right choice.</p>
<p>^^That sounds like a pretty objective account of the thinking process. I know some people think that while both schools are “well-rounded”, Anodver has a reputation for excellent humanities education and Exeter is better in math/sciences. Exeter has more course offerings while Andover has a few more percentage points of students placed in the ivy league schools. Those little things can play a role in the decision making process as well.</p>
<p>I think that Exeter is only fun if you actually try to enjoy it (I don’t mean to insult anyone). My Exeter interviewer said that Exeter was the hardest thing she had to go through in life and everyone in her class says the same at reunions. Exeter probably only seems enjoyable to students who are used to getting tons of homework and pressure. This is just an assumption. People who hate Exeter probably don’t like getting so much work and don’t know how to manage their time well (again, I don’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings, it’s just my opinion, which could be totally wrong).</p>
<p>No, I think you’re on to something yonga. </p>
<p>I’m continually coming off as defensive because the same kind of criticism that has been lobbed at my kid for years (he takes things too seriously, he’s too competitive) is now being lobbed at the school where he’s finally found both challenge and friends who like him for who he is (i.e. the guy who has NEVER smiled in public but nonetheless feels happy most of the time). It just makes me a little itchy…but I think there’s a lot of truth in what you’re saying. And I need to take a deep breath and let it go…</p>
<p>Exeter may be reading the cc pages. Now I see a lot of smiley kids on their website. Looks like they started a look-happy campaign to keep the negative vibes at bay.</p>