Congratulations to all you whose children were accepted to Exeter. I am happy to answer questions from the parental viewpoint about our experience at Exeter.
MODERATOR’S NOTE: Anyone is free to ask or answer questions in this thread.
More than 50% of those who have reported their admission outcomes so far have been accepted to Exeter! A very small sample of course, but considering the selectivity of Exter, it seems a great over representation of Exter admittees on this board or among those who are willing to share! Congrats!
I’m a little concerned about extra costs on top of tuition. Our son will be entering as a prep. We did not apply for financial aid because (a) we understood that if we did so our son would be at a disadvantage in the application process and (b) we respect and agree with Exeter’s position that the primary responsibility for paying for private school should rest with the parents, not the school. Having said that, sending our son to Exeter will be a financial stretch for us and involve real sacrifices (sacrifices that we happily make). Excluding travel and tuition and room and board, how much extra will Exeter cost? Our son now takes piano lessons, but I think the additional $240-plus a month will be too much. Is a tablet–in addition to a laptop–really necessary? What are the other major expenses that we should anticipate? Thank you.
Is Exeter super competitive that basically “swim or sink”? Are the kids there mostly like nerd? My son is accepted as 9th grade, but he is by no means “nerd” type. He is good in math/science stuff, but certainly is not like math genius etc. Can he survive in Exeter?
@BirdieDad I was just searching the forums about Exeter, and as someone who currently attends, your son can most definitely survive at Exeter, even if he isn’t a math genius. I pride myself on writing history papers fairly well, yet physics is the bane of my existence. The stereotype that Exeter is just a math/science school isn’t really true; while those departments (especially math) are top notch, some of the more notorious classes that Exeter offers are in the history department. Maybe I’m biased, but I think Exeter does an amazing job of creating well-rounded students.
@Mom2Melcs You can always get a 2 in 1 laptop/tablet. 1/2 Piano Lessons can be taken for $35 a lesson instead of $60. $160 a month? Encourage him to use the same notebooks over terms. Rent textbooks instead of buying them and check with Lowers to see if they can buy any textbooks already used. Instead of buying a new graphing calculator- just use the one he already has.
@AMS0203 I agree. You can be amazing at anything at Exeter and still have too many courses to fit in over 4 years.
@Mom2Melcs it looks like some good advice has been given. In regards to tablets and laptops, my kids rarely if ever use their tablets. Used textbooks just make sense and you can even request a book list and possibly buy online or rent textbooks. The only other major expenses are travel related- airline tickets etc… School Bus to airport can add a little extra expense. Everything else is minor and can be paid as needed. Dorm move in can be accomplished with bringing bedding and such from home. Laundry service can run around $650 a year- many kids just do their own laundry to avoid this expense.
@BirdieDad Exeter has tons of well rounded kids . If he is accepted- I am sure he will do fine. Kids all start at an appropriate math level for their skill set. My math and science kids struggle in English and history. Everyone is super supportive and help each other with their more challenging subjects. There is no one type of kid here- nerds, jocks, artists etc make up a strong community.
Parents of kids accepted to Exeter: please feel free to PM me if you have questions that you don’t want to publically post. My son is a prep (9th grader) and I have an overall very positive experience to report. It is an amazing school with extremely supportive faculty.
I’m a current student, so to answer questions about tablets and laptops. A LAPTOP IS A MUST! Hands down, students have to have a laptop for homework and sometimes in class too. For me, a tablet is absolutely necessary, and I use it all the time. In math, we use DESMOS a lot, and that’s usually on the tablet (usually iPad). We also use it in science occasionally. For example, we used a chemistry app to help visualize molecules and their bonds. Plus, I don’t have a smart phone, so I use my iPad more often than others.
@waterpololover what is Desmos?
@Center desmos is an interactive online graphing website: www.desmos.com
thanks! @Anonymousia
Is it like Mathematica?
Exeter parents and students, did you look at other schools and how did you decide? Trying to choose between Choate, Deerfield and Exeter and having trouble – all have pros and cons and after a revisit day and initial visit, it’s nearly impossible to nail down the true personality of the schools. There was much focus given to Exeter’s pressured environment. A current student noted that their average homework required is 4-5 hours and that she must schedule her days very closely, making sure to schedule a bit of time to socialize. I noted that a recent issue of “The Exonian” commented about students openly weeping about GPAs not matching those of their classmates. Reading forums and boards, we’re left with the impression that the school is incredibly stressful. While on campus we noticed kids frantically jogging to get from class to class – not a smile to be seen. This was the only school where we saw several students sitting alone eating their lunch in the dining hall – not occupied with anything other than eating – but very much alone. We want our child to be challenged, but not just “manage” academics with no joy in other areas. Would anyone be willing to share their child’s experiences? And any thoughts on the “personality” of the other schools?
@Mumzytrois I answered you in a PM. This wasnt our experience at Exeter at all. As far as kids sitting alone- I have to say this might just be what the student felt like doing that day. I have one that enjoys his alone time. Our kids experiences are truly dictated by their personality, desires etc… In my experience not necessarily anything one school provides and another doesn’t. After 4 kids at Exeter- I can confidently tell you that each ones experience was wildly different - same family, same school, all born in small time period (6 years) - and each had totally different academic, social and emotional experiences based on their individual personality styles.
@Mumzytrois I’m incredibly sorry that you had that experience at our revisit day. All three schools that you’re looking at are wonderful schools, and you’ll make a great choice no matter what you choose. Exeter is stressful- as is any other elite boarding school. But I’ve never had more of a social life, more of a vibrant life! Exeter is the best thing to happen to me, and I’m sure that many other students share the same sentiment. Currently, seniors have just found out their college acceptances, and the uppers (juniors) are currently in the middle of writing a really difficult research paper for U.S history,called the 333, so that’s probably the reason why there were so many “sad” students. On the weekends, especially when it’s nice outside, everyone goes outside and plays in the quad, and it’s one of my favorite parts of the weekend. There are kids who put pressure on themselves to get the perfect GPA, but that is in no way the majority of the student body. Exeter prides itself on its elite academics, but we also have a plethora of clubs and other things to fill up a student’s time. There are students who choose to involve themselves in academics only, and there are students who take advantage of the many clubs that Exeter offers. This is at every boarding school. Again, I am sorry that you had that experience at Exeter, and good luck to choosing! That’s a choice that I’m sure many people would love to have! If you have any more questions, feel free to DM me.
@Mumzytrois Long hours of homework are not exclusive to Exeter. Our tour guide at Deerfield said that as a junior he had 5-6 hours of homework a night (and that other years he had less). He was taking honors and AP classes. We were dismayed and asked questions. We were told by faculty that the number of hours of homework varies from student to student - not all need/want to put in such time and that 5+ hours was definitely on the high side unless it was pre-exam or assignment due date. More importantly, our tour guide obviously was enjoying his homework and his many activities at the school. So comes down to what you and yours want…
Thanks so much for your comment. It is incredibly difficult, after a one-day visit, to feel you’ve accurately captured the heart and soul of a place. It helps tremendously to hear comments such as yours to help fill in the picture for more accuracy. Thanks so much for your input and feedback!