Adding to this…: from my personal experience, with few exceptions, most of these “perfect” students" did not follow their careers after college, or when they did, nothing impressive, mediocre really.
The world out there is not about studying for tests and scoring good grades.
Look at the most exciting people, inventors, artists, breakthrough scientists, etc. - usually, they have a story to tell about NOT being the 1st in their classes…
There is no map; everyone is unique and will follow their path and, hopefully, live a happy adult life.
It is normal to compare - it’s human nature. You just have to learn to control it.
Don’t compare yourself in terms of achievements - compare yourself with what you can do. If you think you can do what you’re capable of, then you’re fine. Otherwise, there will be a lot of us here getting stressed out because Tom Brady already won 7 Super Bowl Rings at 45 years old and I think none of us have won any even though some of us are older than him.
You don’t know what your friends are experiencing. There’s no guarantee that they are not struggling. There’s no guarantee that they are doing things because they want to (instead of trying to tick all the boxes for college applications).
You will get into a good college and only you (not your parents, not your teacher(s), not your friend(s), not a bunch of publications) can decide whether it is going to be good for you. You will decide what you want to do, how well you want to do things and that will should be your mindset.
You mentioned that you didn’t have any sports, didn’t lead any clubs, etc. Are you working outside of school, are you in any clubs, etc? Or are you just spending your time studying? If so, there is nothing wrong with that (this definitely doesn’t make you less than the others) although I encourage you to find activities that might pique your interest.
First of all - be kind to yourself. You seem to be kind to others, and you deserve it no less than anyone else.
Second - you’re doing great. They’re doing more, but they’re also not dragging the heavy weight of social anxiety around with them everywhere.
There are literally hundreds of great colleges which will love to have a straight-A student. There are great colleges for which student with straight As and good test scores are auto-admits. These colleges don’t look for students who were presidents of clubs or whatever.
Your college possibilities are pretty numerous. There is U Nebraska, an excellent college which only considers academics, there is Arizona State, there is U New Mexico, U Illinois Chicago, and many more. Most will give you good merit scholarships on top of your admission.
None of these colleges care even the slightest bit what your classmates are doing.
I know so many people who did very well in life or are doing very well in life who also had absolutely no idea what they wanted to do when they were your age. Many only started their existing career path after they finished their undergraduate degree.
The ones who supposedly know what they want to do are a small, but very vocal, minority. Unfortunately, most organizations, social media, high schools, and colleges, tend to amplify the voices of these ones. People who publicize stories of success tend to avoid those stories which start “until I was 25, I really had no idea what I wanted to do”.
Our society has decided, for some reason, that wanting to do something from a very young age is a virtue and a requirement for success. It is neither of those.
There is almost no career for which someone has to start getting ready in a focussed manner in high school. Not even medicine. That is why most colleges don’t expect students to declare their major before the end of their sophomore year.
So don’t worry that you have no real idea what you want to do in life - that is true the the vast majority of people your age, including vast majority of those who will have fulfilling lives.
However - your primary job now is to take care of yourself. You are well set up to attend a great college, so don’t worry about that.
@compmom@blossom@1njparent@unsentdementor@itsgettingreal21@teleia@MT-mom@epcy@MWolf
Thank you everybody for the good advice and support, I decided to log out for awhile, but I came back to check on this thread, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cry a little from the relief of knowing I’m not the worthless nobody I tend to think I am. Thanks again, hearing these sorts of things is really helpful. I’ll try to keep it in mind whenever I’m spiraling down the comparisons rabbit hole.