Exhausted with college life.

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I apologize for adding yet another thread in the sea of complaints about college, but for anyone who cares to respond...here's my story:</p>

<p>This year I finally got into my dream school now as a sophomore. I lived around the area and attended here during the summer of 2010 for a youth scholars program (the summer before my HS senior year) and fell in love with the school because of the friends I made, the facilities, and just the overall vibe of the campus. I couldn't believe how chill and open to making friends people were, unlike my small Christian school with the same annoying people I grew up with for years; but then again we were all HS students at the time. </p>

<p>So right now I'm just in a stage of disappoinment...with myself I guess. I nearly went into depression because I didn't get in for my freshman year. My first year I could have just gone to the same Christian college that all my friends were going to, but I was so bent on not surrounding myself with hundreds of the same people I've seen since elementary school that I chose to stay around the area and attend my community college instead so I would have a better chance of getting in. I hated it. Every day I was ****ed off because it seemed like all my buds were having a great first year while I basically just went to class, and came home. But I worked my butt off to get in this school and I was extremely happy to get accepted for this semester.</p>

<p>Don't get me wrong, I go to a great school. It has a beautiful campus, the girls are HOT, the resources, and a great curriculum. I'll look around when I'm on campus and convince myself that everything is just fine, and that there's no reason not to love my school. But the fact of the matter is that at the end of the day, I go to sleep feeling deflated. I'm just not really enjoying it. I just feel disconnected and distanced from any legitimate friendships here. I guess it may have something to do with the size of the school. Some of my lectures are literally larger than my entire HS population.</p>

<p>I already have my plan for financial success and it has nothing to do with my degree I'm working towards, but I simply can't not attend college. I owe it to my mother for the hard work she's put into making me and my siblings excel.</p>

<p>But IDK, I'm just not getting the hype. It's not that I absolutely hate it; I have a few friends that I speak to, I have a good time, I joined a club I like, but something about the college lifestyle in general just puts me off. I don't want to seem judgemental, but too many people here seem so vain. The drinking, the hooking up, the cocky dudes on steroids, etc.
I was alway told that high school was to be the worst years full of social hierachy, and college was when those "walls" were broken down and everyone was mature. It feels like the complete opposite for me. </p>

<p>What can I do to make these next 3 years better? I just don't want to graduate in the end feeling like I wasted 4 years of my life here.</p>

2

<p>Well the first thing I would suggest would be changing your major, particularly if you don’t think you’ll need it. I know changing my major made a world of difference for my enjoyment. I went from not minding if I didn’t wake up ever again to being excited about going to class. If you really do like your major then maybe add a few more random classes that strike you as interesting in to spice things up.</p>

<p>Going to a huge school can seem overwhelming and make it feel harder to make friends. My graduating class was less than 140 people, it was pretty weird walking into a class room that could have sat my entire high school and had lots of extra space. Don’t let that overwhelm you though! Try making a few more friends and talking to more people. </p>

<p>How involved are you in your club? It is one thing to go to the weekly meetings, it’s another thing to be on a few committees and work towards an e-board position. </p>

<p>Try not being so harsh on people. A lot of that stuff doesn’t really hurt you so just let it be. You just notice the loud people, I would be willing to bet that for every one of them there is a quiet person you don’t notice. </p>

<p>I would give it a little more time. If you still hate it by winter break maybe look into a different school. Big schools aren’t for everyone.</p>

3

<p>I was in a similar situation. I went into my sophomore year with a new major, and as soon as I started classes, I got very depressed and overwhelmed and really couldn’t handle it. I was exhausted already and it was only the first week! I had a bunch of close friends, but not even they could make me feel better about being there. I chose to take a leave of absence for this semester, and let me tell you, it was the best decision. I’m at home, trying to find work, and attempting to figure things out. I’ve always been one of those hardworking students so having some time to just kick back, relax, and take a step back and look at what I really want to do with these years is a breath of fresh air. No regrets whatsoever, I highly suggest it and if you have any questions or need help, feel free to message me! :)</p>

4

<p>Stop feeling so down, and go out and find activities that will allow you to have a great time.</p>

5

<p>Thanks for the advice everyone…I’m coping. And praying things turn around. I’m not one to complain about boredom (because I think it’s juvenile and I can usually find something to do), but I’ve experienced so much of it since I’ve started school.</p>

<p>Even with the few friends I do have here, I’m just feeling disconnected to an extent in which it bothers me. People always gave me the impression that it would be easier to make friends in college because everyone is supposed to be more open-minded or whatever, but ironically it’s not even like that here. In high school for me, making friends wasn’t even something I had to try. It just sort of happened. But so many people here seem so unapproachable and set on sticking with their old friends from HS or whatever. And I’m someone who used to have quite alot of friends, but not too many since we’ve all parted ways.</p>

<p>And what’s bothering me the most is that all of these stresses are causing me to fall a bit behind in work and not do as well as I usually do. It’s like I barely even have the energy to want to crack the books and study. God, I miss summer vacation…lol</p>

6

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<p>Physically or philosophically? Because derealization is a real (and debilitating) mental disorder usually brought on by anxiety.</p>

<p>Anyway, it seems to me that you really overhyped college life, and it’s been letting you down. The same thing happened to me my freshman year; I had a very unrealistic view of what college life would be like, and I was disappointed when it didn’t meet my expectations. Stop thinking about what college is “supposed” to be like, and realize that it can still be a great four years. Think, when else will you be surrounded by thousands of other people your age, most of whom have more free time now than they will for the rest of their lives?</p>

7

<p>^I don’t think my disconnection is that deep. What I mean is, I’m having a hard time feeling like apart of the student body. One thing I regret the most is not staying on campus. It’s already tough enough being a transfer student. I live literally like 7 minutes from campus in an off-campus student housing apartment, but I feel like maybe I would have been a little more immersed in the camaraderie if I had to live on campus (share a room with a roommate, eat at the diner, etc.) but it was so expensive and this apartment was so appealing at the time I signed the lease.</p>

<p>And yes, admittably I overhyped it. Hearing all the upperclassmen from my old high school talk about how “amazing” college was, seeing the pamphlets of smiling faces, and giddy tour guides telling you all the great things about my school, and actually having already attended here for a HS summer program (which was AWESOME btw) made me think that my experience here as a full student would be incredible. But I was completely naive to the uglier sides of being a college student, and now I’m just starting to get to level ground and hoping that things will get better.</p>

<p>But generally, I do believe things will get better. I’m just not used to having to go out of my way to make friends and get involved. I think it’s just that which is the major challenge for me.</p>

8

<p>just remember that deep friendships take time to grow deep…you will find that there are people you enjoy talking to, being with…at first it is somewhat superficial, but grows with time. A few weeks is not a long time, it’s just the beginning.</p>

9

<p>^Makes sense.</p>

<p>And another thing that’s bothering me is my focus. I don’t even know what happened to me; it’s like getting myself to study is nearly impossible these days. The second I even crack open the books, I feel fatigue or my mind wanders somewhere else. Does anyone have any study tips they can give me?</p>