Expelled from college..

Parents Forum
1

<p>I was not sure to make this post here, or in the actual college forums, but I assumed since this was more dedicated to parents it would be better on getting advice. I would like to start off and say that I have made mistakes in my life, as everyone, but not as big as this. To divulge on the matter, I would like to say that I was charged with a category II academic dishonesty violation for a class I took over the summer for getting help through means disobeying academic conduct. Specifically, I asked for help using an online forum, which perhaps was the stupidest and most foolish thing I could've done and I completely am at fault and understand the consequences I faced afterwards. Upon re-entering school in the Fall for my Junior year I was accused and allowed to present my case, and I was completely honest and upfront and was given suspension for the next semester. Towards the end of the semester I made another huge and stupid mistake copying one question from someone next to me during a exam because I started panicking (which is absolutely no excuse) and being caught, and charged with a category I academic dishonesty, which I just received. Being that this is my second offense, I must convene again with the academic committee, although I don't know when since I am suspended for this upcoming semester. However, I know without a doubt this will lead in expulsion from my university. Right now I am completely disappointed in my self, and questioning why I have wasted so much of my single parent's money to literally have it all thrown away because of such stupid and utterly ridiculous judgments on my part --- to not only do it once and get suspended for the next semester, but to engage in an offense once again and end up in an even worst predicament.</p>

<p>I am honestly not a bad kid, I have made mistakes, none this big, but I never ever thought I would see myself in this situation. My parent knows of my suspension but is unaware right now that I am going to be expelled definitely for violating policy once again. I am completely at fault for both incidences and should've just took the grades I was going to receive instead of cheating to try and get a grade I didn't deserve. I am at complete ends with myself, and I am not sure how to bounce back from being expelled from University and disappointing so many people that thought I would be able to succeed in life. Expressing all of this on a forum is the only way to tell someone how terribly sorry I am for doing such acts when I knew the consequences. The look on my parent's face after finding out I got suspended, has completely crushed me and to tell them back to back that I am now going to be expelled is something I never in my lifetime thought I would have to do. I am such a failure at life in all aspects right now when I only had a year or year and a half to get my degree. The amount of disappointment I have given them, is so hard to bear, and I have no idea how to cope with this, even though I caused all of it.</p>

<p>I know I will get destroyed here for not only committing one act, but two acts of dishonesty when I should've learned my lesson, but I need a place to come to, because I feel as if my life is at its ends right now. I made two huge mistakes that have basically destroyed everything I worked so hard for, but I don't want to give up and continue to disappoint myself and everyone else around me. Because I am almost 99.9% sure I will be expelled right now, I want to see if there are any options at all for me to try and continue my education despite the horrible choices I have made. I am not sure if I was not mature to handle situations away in college, but seeing as this was my third year, I can't even fathom why I would do this to myself. I was never one to cheat, and I waited until the time where it mattered most to do it. I was wondering if it seemed like a good idea to apply for CC here where I live and try to get back on track for a year or so and than perhaps reapply to another school to get my Bachelor's, or go for a internship even though I don't know how I would explain being expelled, or even get a job. With my mindset right now I am so depressed, confused, and feeling so destroyed that I don't know how to handle all this. Can anyone please give me any advice, bash me more for my stupid and completely ridiculous decision, or just be here to talk about similar situations, so I can see what I can even do in my life right now. Thank you so much for any and all help.</p>

<p>I also want to add that I have completely learned my lesson, and will NEVER commit academic dishonesty again even though it took two times and expulsion for it really to get in my head. I also know how harshly dishonesty is seen, so I apologize right now for putting anyone in a bad mood from reading this.</p>

2

<p>I don’t have any specific advice, but what is done is done.</p>

<p>Come up with a plan to move on.</p>

<p>If you can’t continue with your studies, think what you will do next instead.</p>

<p>Plenty of people do just fine in life without a degree.</p>

3

<p>You are 100% right. I guess the real reason I posted this was to get advice on what to do from here. I would like to still continue my studies and get a degree, and was assuming community college would be the most viable for my situation. Also, when I am expelled from my current University, will the credits I earned all be erased? Or will they still transfer to the community college I plan on applying to?</p>

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<p>Perhaps you could call your community college and discuss the situation? (You can most likely do this anonymously.)</p>

<p>If you have legitimately earned the credits, I am pretty sure they can’t be taken away from you. (But you will most likely need to pay any outstanding tuition etc in order to get a transcript sent.)</p>

<p>I suspect the bigger issue is getting accepted elsewhere when you have had disciplinary action against you.</p>

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<p>Keep in mind that your parent loves you and although there will be disappointment it will pass. You don’t need anyone to bash you, you have learned a lesson the hard way. My advice would be to let your parent know right away. I agree with fendrock, come up with a plan to move on. You are a junior…does this affect the credits received up until now. Should you take a year off and save money? Pay your parent back for some of the money they have spent.</p>

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<p>Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it first seems. If the expulsion does happen, going to CC for a year and then applying to other schools sounds like a good plan.</p>

<p>When I was teaching at a state flagship, I caught students cheating almost every semester. Usually it was an A student who was afraid of falling to a B. Sometimes it was deliberate, and sometimes it was, like your second offense, panicking in the moment and copying off someone on a test – on a question that would be worth only 0.2% of their semester grade. </p>

<p>Most of the students I caught cheating were good kids who took a shortcut they knew they shouldn’t take, but a couple of them had clearly made cheating a way of life. You can usually tell one from the other by how they respond after being caught. How you handle it from here will make it clear to those around you which camp you’re in. Good luck going forward.</p>

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<p>Thank you all for the responses and help, I really do appreciate it. Even though I am completely disappointed in my self, I know I still want to make something out of my life. fendrock, when you say pay any outstanding tuition do you mean any loans, that I may owe? Because all of my college bills have been completely paid off so far. This was also a question I had. When I am expelled, will I still owe the school money, as I was intended on being there four years? Or since I have completely paid off everything that I owe as of last semester, I won’t have to continue paying since I won’t be attending anymore? </p>

<p>I plan on going in person to my community college, as they are only accepting direct admissions right now and I guess explaining the situation since it will come up on my transcript. For some reason I feel as if this was a sign for me to come back home, even though I did it in the worst way possible, instead of just withdrawing or transferring elsewhere, because I wasn’t completely happy at my school; and just trying to finish as fast as possible to get a degree. </p>

<p>In terms of applying for an internship, is that totally out of the question for right now? I am not sure how that works if you are currently not in college, or expelled.</p>

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<p>Better you get caught now rather than later, when you are Wall Street Banker.</p>

<p>(On second thought, maybe not. ;))</p>

<p>(They can only charge you for services received, or intend to receive, unless you signed a contract otherwise, which I doubt!)</p>

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<p>Thank you for the response, mini. When you say services received, or intend to receive, what exactly does this entail? Like on-campus housing, or something of the sort?</p>

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<p>What a mess you have created for yourself. That said, you don’t yet know that you will be expelled. You may be, but you also might be able earn your way back somehow at a later date. A lot depends on your university and how they view you and your violation.
You obviously feel like this is the end of the world, but truly, it’s not. You’ve made a couple big mistakes that put a stain on your honesty and trustworthiness, but you can recover from this. Do you have any adult mentor or friend at your university who knows you and who might be able to advise you? You have nothing to lose by talking to someone to see what they think you might do to recover from this, even though it may take time. And don’t think that no other school will ever accept you- I’ve known kids who have been accepted to schools with worse stains on their record.
But don’t expect to be forgiven overnight. It’s going to take time.</p>

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<p>Getting caught twice is a big deal and will, no doubt bar you from more selective schools. </p>

<p>I think I’d start with by contacting the school and asking them for a copy of your transcript. I’d ask about how cooperative they plan to be when you try to transfer or begin at a new school. As serious as your offense was, you were a teenager and nobody was injured, died or even lost money. They can’t defame you or prevent you from seeking an education elsewhere.</p>

<p>Then visit your local CC. Ask them point blank what your options are. You won’t be the first. You can then get a feel for where to go from there. Perhaps a non-impacted state college will let you in after a period of time. </p>

<p>Another option would be a for-profit school.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

12

<p>First and foremost, you are certainly going through a really difficult period in your life, but you NEED to get some perspective. It would really help (while you are still in school) to request an emergency meeting with a counselor at your college. This is both good for you, and will go better overall for you that you voluntarily sought some help for what you yourself recognize is a problem you need to deal with.</p>

<p>What’s happening right now are BIG consequences for what is really, overall, nothing that would ever put you in jail in the real world. MOST parents here would tell you that over the course of their lives, there are times when they may have done something they knew wasn’t right, but they thought at the time (or just had an impulse) that the benefit of the action would outweigh the wrong of the same.</p>

<p>You were caught cheating at school. You looked up something online and you looked at a classmates’s paper. If this is true, you were wrong, and you know this, but you are not a criminal. You didn’t harm anyone but yourself. You certainly did not murder your roommate and hide the body, or leave a restaurant without paying. You didn’t even shoplift a twinkie from the 7-11. </p>

<p>As you said, you just picked the worst timing for what is basically a weak and dumb transgression. The honest D is always better than the cheating B (or F, if you’re caught). The former might keep you in school. This, however, is the stuff of life. Again, MOST parents on this forum could point to times that they wish they could take back. (NOT ALL.) </p>

<p>Your parent will obviously be upset, but if you come up with a serious plan to move forward, based on advice above, that’s better than just going to pieces. And there’s NO need to go to pieces. Trust me, there will be many more reasons once you get a lot older, by which time you will be able to tell younger people “hey, this is what I did, I messed up, and I don’t want you to do the same thing.”</p>

<p>You’re young - time is healing, time is power. Time is something we older ones can’t buy. </p>

<p>Most important - it will BE OK - but you will have to take some hard knocks. It will STILL BE OK !!!</p>

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<p>Yes, I have truly put myself in a horrible predicament that I have no one or anything else to blame but myself. And I am not sure if I can even go back to the university at this time, to talk to anyone, because I am suspended currently until Fall 2014. Before this occurred however, I wasn’t particularly close with any faculty that I would be able to dispose this information to. Thank you for the words moonchild, they definitely are helping how severely saddened I am at this point. And NCalRent, I will take your advice and contact them immediately to request a transcript. </p>

<p>I need to also find out how being suspended currently until Fall 2014 will effect when I will be questioned about my most recent misconduct; now or when I can actually be allowed back on campus in the Fall.</p>

14

<p>You have completed two years of college.if you enroll in a community college, it should be for a specific two year course of study. You presumably have taken your undergrad core courses already as a freshman and sophomore. You courses will not be erased. But you will not be permitted to return to the current university, and I believe this expulsion (but not the reason) will be noted on your transcript.</p>

<p>Look to see what two year degrees are offered by the community college. Go and get one…and then a job. You will be required to provide your college transcript from your current school.</p>

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<p>Thank you for the response, mini. When you say services received, or intend to receive, what exactly does this entail? Like on-campus housing, or something of the sort?"</p>

<p>You can only be charged for what you have contracted for. If you contracted for housing services through the end of the year, you either pay, or it is refunded as covered in the contract (usually subject to a withdrawal fee.) The same will be true for all other advance payments.</p>

<p>It is horrible now, but you will get through this. Don’t do anything quickly (other than seeing the counselor.) Think it through, come up with a plan. Your life isn’t over. It has barely begun.</p>

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<p>I agree. You have recognized quickly that you messed up and you are taking responsibility.
A lesser soul would have blamed their circumstances on others.
Baby steps, but you can get through this.
Remember, we learn the most when we make mistakes.</p>

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<p>You don’t know how much I appreciate everyone’s response at this point in my life. I am actually so happy I posted this here, and was able to receive feedback about what to do next, and this isn’t the end of the road. Waiting for contact from my school, I am looking at local colleges and seeing what two year degrees they offer in my field. I already have the required amount to get an Associate’s but I understand that you must attend a college for a certain amount of time and earn a certain number of credits with them before attaining a degree. I am still missing a number of gen ed’s so I believe it would be best to complete those there and show that I am improving. Afterwards, being that I most likely will not be readmitted back to my old school, I will try to see if I can transfer to a four year and get my Bachelor’s. Hopefully my current credits are able to transfer to my community college. </p>

<p>I know I am thinking way ahead here, but I am trying to think of the worst possible scenario (that will most likely occur, since it was my second offense). I need to focus and get back on track because I’ve messed up immensely over these past few months, and there is no room to slack. Now there comes the point of breaking to my parent once again that I am in deeper trouble for a second offense, without totally destroying them. Thank you everyone so much for help. I will continue to post here, with any questions and progress.</p>

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<p>I’m wondering if you are being honest with yourself (and with us).</p>

<p>You assert that you don’t make a practice of academic dishonesty, and the only two times you cheated, you were caught. What amazing bad luck.</p>

<p>I was born in the morning, but I wasn’t born yesterday morning. I think you need to examine your conscience, and see whether you were caught for cheating twice because you have been cheating over and over again.</p>

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<p>I am being completely honest. There is no point in me lying, especially anonymously, and when I have already admitted to doing it and completely blaming myself. I understand where you are coming from, however. It is highly unlikely to be caught on two of the ONLY times I cheated, but that is my luck. The first time was idiotic of me because it was for a class that was online, and the website was specifically for my major, so the professor easily spotted it. I am not sure if he had an existing account, which I am assuming he did, but I was automatically caught. The second time it was just at the last minute of handing in the test and a TA came directly to me to take my paper. Both of these are signs that I should have known better to even think of doing it, and I think me getting caught both times on my only cases not only displays how disappointed I should be in myself. It conveys how much I didn’t learn my lesson the first time, and something needed to be done, before I continued on this path.</p>

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<p>I believe him.
People who are routinely deceitful become more adept at it.
It’s those who are inexperienced who get caught.</p>