Extreme Engineering Student with Mediocre Ambitions

<p>Not sure how to feel about this. My DD is a rising senior ChemE major on full scholarship at a top 5 engineering school where she continues to maintain a 4.0 GPA. She has had summer internships since the summer after high school graduation and also has been doing paid research at school this past year. She has the world by the tail. </p>

<p>The "problem" is that she has interned at the same company for the past two summers and she really likes it there. Fortune Magazine named it a Top 100 Places To Work company. They have a really good intern program and have been very good to her. They have weekly "mentoring" lunches and the hot topic has obviously been her future plans. They have also discussed the pros and cons of grad school at length. (She could likely get into some top grad programs.)</p>

<p>DD has concluded that she absolutely is not interested in pursuing a Ph.D since she really dislikes academic research. She is also convinced that she does not need a masters degree since she has been advised by several people (and also online) that a masters in ChemE won't gain her much. She says she wants to "be an engineer, not be in charge of people". She says she doesn't need a masters to "do the job she wants to do".</p>

<p>The company she interns at has a very different internal structure. It is a team structure where the biggest contributers are supposedly rewarded accordingly.
It is true that many people seem to be very happy at this company. However, I am also afraid that their payscale is only average to slightly above. </p>

<p>So here's my "problem". DD is about to have a bunch of interviews at this company for positions for post spring graduation 2013. She thinks she'll have offer(s) in hand sometime in September. It feels (to me) like she would be settling for "average" when she could have the stars...pay-wise, education-wise, job-wise. It doesn't even sound like she will seriously be looking elsewhere. She really likes the environment and culture of this one company. I want to support her, but I can't help but feel like she's "wasting" her potential. Thoughts?</p>

<p>Your daughter is graduating from college. It is HER decision about where she takes a job, not yours. Let her make this decision herself. She sounds like a sharp person who has a good sense of what SHE WANTS.</p>

<p>I know. But it’s hard to swallow.</p>

<p>Besides, part of me wonders if she’s “settling” because she’s afraid to take a chance. You know, a comfortable bird in the hand…</p>

<p>Listen to her instincts.</p>

<p>She has found something that she likes. If she can get an offer from this company, that’s great. She’ll be exploring her first-choice career path. Maybe she will love it; maybe she won’t. Either way, it’s OK. Exploration is what being in your twenties is all about. You try things. You change paths if something doesn’t work out. You experiment. And in the course of all this, you develop a career and a life.</p>

<p>Ph.D.s and research careers are great for some people but not others. Pushing someone down that path if they’re not drawn to it doesn’t make sense. </p>

<p>As for master’s degrees, there’s no compelling need to get one right away – if your daughter decides that she wants one at all. Graduate school will still be there a few years down the road if she wants it.</p>

<p>In terms of pay: If she will be earning enough to live on, it’s not an issue. Her pay is only a problem if it’s so low that you would have to subsidize her. In engineering, this seems unlikely. </p>

<p>Your daughter is one of the lucky ones. Enjoy.</p>

<p>Look at it differently. </p>

<p>Your D is very comfortable at this company, she like it there, the company is a ‘top 100 places to work’ so it’s not just her naive opinion that it’s a good place to work, it pays decently or better than decently, she’s a smart girl and can evaluate things logically (she’s an engineer), and she knows whether she’s wants to continue her education at this time or not. </p>

<p>In addition to it being her decision as you already know, you should feel good about this since she’ll be doing very well. After being in the workplace a bit she might just decide to pursue a Masters or PHD, a lot of people do. If she decides to pursue the Masters there’s a very good chance her company will pay for it so she (or you) won’t have to. That’s certainly not a bad thing.</p>

<p>I wonder what you will say if she does what I did with my chem E degree - work 5 years and then stay home with my kids for 22+ years? I would not call her ambitions ‘mediocre’ at all. It sounds like she knows what she likes and you need to get over your ambitions for her. A good job she likes with an ‘average’ engineers salary sounds great. A higher salary at work she hates sounds stupid.</p>

<p>Agree with Marian and Thumper.</p>

<p>Yes, maybe you see things that she doesn’t. You can provide your opinion but she makes the decision on her life at this point. It sounds like she has a great start in life - there are lots of others that are struggling.</p>

<p>Does she know you think she has “mediocre ambition”? Jeez, she has a 4.0, working at internships since high schools, and has a shot at a top 500 compsny that Fortune describes as one of the best places to work. My guess is that she might be inspired by a mentor/peer but for now, I’d relax and support her decisions. </p>

<p>Or would you feel better she’s stressed out and feeling frenzied? What are we doing to our kids?</p>

<p>Ouch. Back off. I’m going to assume she knows far more about her profession than ol’ mom does and really seems out of place. </p>

<p>Then again, do you really see this as a problem? Or just a nice way to frame another proud moment you need to share? Almost of your posts are oozing with pride and details of great success from your kids, so I assume you don’t really need anyone’s ‘help’ here for this ‘problem’ either :)…just be grateful!</p>

<p>What a nice “problem” to have. Your daughter sounds like she knows what she’s doing-she has a mentor who actually knows about her field and can guide her ,plus the company is well regarded and is considered a great place to work. I hope she does not feel you think she has “mediocre ambitions.”</p>

<p>The “problem” is one that many families would want. It sounds like your D has done a fine job til now - trust her decisions. It sounds like a great opportunity. And with a job in hand, senior year will be less stressful.</p>

<p>I’ve known high GPA engineers that found grad school hard. It is less directed. a different ballgame. If your D does not like research she’s making the right choice.</p>

<p>I have been on here a long time now and this is one of the most disturbing posts I have ever seen.</p>

<p>You are actually disappointed in this daughter? I hope she has other sources of support in her life.</p>

<p>And do you know what real “problems” are?</p>

<p>Exactly,colorado_mom, Some kids just know they’re not that interested in grad school, at least not right away. Both my kids are engineers and have done fine in college but just wanted to get out of college and get into the work world. No thoughts about going directly to grad school and may never get grad degrees ever. In contrast, have a nephew with two professor parents-he is only an upcoming sophomore in college, studying computer science at an Ivy-but the mom already has made statements recently(not in front of him) that made me think she thinks it is a given that he is going to go to grad school. Wonder if my nephew knows that!</p>

<p>Your daughter may be right. I have a bunch of advanced degrees and probably don’t earn much more than the guy with a BS degree. After a decade and a half in academia I did not want to teach or do paper publishing research… I wanted to enjoy writing software, that’s all. At 52, I still do, and it’s still a lot of fun. But not for everyone.</p>

<p>The MS and/or PhD will come later once she realizes how much she does not know at the BS degree, or if she wants to specialize. I continued because I was fascinated with how people use computers and technology - the human factors aspect of it.</p>

<p>Am I ambitious? nope. Same company for 27 years, same boss for 14. I’ve had all the big name recruiters calling but I have not taken the bait. So, let her find her own path…</p>

<p>So your daughter’s going to graduate at or near the top of her class from a top program in her field and probably land a well-paying professional job that she really wants, at a top company that’s rated one of the best places to work . . . and YOU’RE dissatisfied?</p>

<p>I think you need to think about your priorities. Most people could only dream of such opportunities for their children. </p>

<p>I think one of the most important things one can do in life is to find a job and an occupation that one finds fulfilling, challenging, and sufficiently remunerative to live on, comfortably if possible, but at least to live on. Many people go into engineering with that goal in mind. And many succeed at it. Life isn’t a race to see who can compile the most prestigious degrees or earn the highest salary. And I’m no engineer, but I know a lot of engineers, including some members of my own family who have risen probably higher then they ever aspired to in major corporate hierarchies with just Bachelors degrees in engineering. My sense is, once you’re in the system, the Masters and Ph.D.s don’t mean all that much; if you’re good at what you do, you’ll get noticed, and you’ll get handed more and more responsibility.</p>

<p>But mostly I’d just trust your daughter’s instincts. If she lands a job she thinks she wants, she should take it. If it turns out not to be what she expected, she can change jobs or go back to school. The point is to find that sweet spot where your work is satisfying and your non-work life is good. And sometimes that means getting off the treadmill of collecting trophies and medals. Even if your parents would like more trophies and medals.</p>

<p>Do you know how hard a 4.0 in engineering is, let alone Chemical Engineering is? The G.P.A. alone lets her basically do anything she would like and enjoy. Let her make the choices, if she carried herself this far, she can work her way through the future.</p>

<p>That company sounds like a dream compared to most other companies. One of the top 100 places to work? Very happy employees? A positive work culture and environment? Average to slightly above average pay? Working for such a place is definitely not settling for less.</p>

<p>Oh boy. Be happy for her - she’s not settling, she’s choosing wisely. She can always go to grad school in the future if she wishes - the company may well accommodate this - funding and time wise. S just graduated from top engineering program with top grades and as a hands on person has absolutely NO interest in grad school, now or maybe never. He has a great job lined up and will be among ‘his people’ - It is his life and his choice.
Time to sit back and be proud of her!</p>

<p>This is one of the few threads where the posters are ALL in agreement. You should be very proud of your daughter, and her future job prospects. It all sounds awesome!!</p>