I just started my freshman year of college. I’m about six hours away from my home and I hate it. I’ve cried everyday, called my mom multiple times a day, but nothing helps. I miss everything about my family, my house, my hometown. I feel so trapped up here because I can’t quickly go home for the weekend if I want to. I actually went to the same school as my best friend from high school and we’re rooming together. It’s been great, but she’s not homesick at all and I feel like we haven’t had the chance to hang out alone since we’ve gotten here. Even though I see her and talk with her everyday, I kind of miss her. Anyway, I’m planning on seeing a counselor later this week and I’m determined to stick it out a year. But what if I still feel this way in May? I honestly can’t imagine spending he next four years of my life here. The thought makes me so anxious and I want to cry. Would transferring to a school 40 minutes away from my house help if I’m still miserable at the end of the year? I don’t know what to do.
You don’t know how you’ll feel in May-you have a ton of living to do between now and then. I can’t tell you not to worry about it because I can tell you’re a worrier (I am too), but I can tell you that you can’t do anything about how you’ll feel six months from now, right now.
What you can do right now is focus on being present in yourself, focus on finding things you enjoy doing at the school, and don’t measure how well you’re settling in by other people-we’re all different.
Don’t try and imagine all the next four years-it’s too much for anyone to do. Just work on today, and what do you want to do to make today a good day?
I am a parent but I am replying because I was you when I went to college back in the day. I was extraordinarily homesick when I started college. First, the feeling is real and is physical. It’s ok. Its part of life and it means you have strong connections to you family and home. That’s a good thing. Secondly don’t assume others are feeling the way you are. I promise you’re not alone…many freshman feel just the way you do but don’t disclose it. I kept it very hidden and nobody had a clue I was beside myself on the inside. I wanted nothing more than to go home when I was in your shoes. This lasted for three weeks until I did go home for a weekend because I felt I really needed to. When I went home I realized life had moved on. My friends were off at college, my parents were busy with their life and work and I realized my life was now at college. The best thing I can encourage you to do is not talk to your mom many times a day. (technology is a curse when it comes to kids being independent) Get involved, join something, meet new people and focus on your classes. Get busy and stay busy! Get interested and involved in your new community! Also, don’t rely on your friend/roommate. Let her breathe too so you remain friends. She can’t be your crutch. You can do this! I promise you everything will be ok and you will grow to love your school. Just let yourself. Relax and breathe and look around at all that is possible for you. My story has a happy ending. After my three weeks of homesickness I began to love my college, established friends and never, ever went home except for school vacations. I remember actually crying at the end of the year when it was over. To this day, I have close friends from college and remember it as some of the best years of my life. It is a good idea to see a counselor. Glad you are taking that step. Everything you are feeling is normal and you can do this!
@muddychickadee, i was in your shoes when I went away to college. I sat in my room and cried, refusing to get involved. Went to classes a couple of days and then stopped going when I decided that I would drop out. Moved back home, and got a job. My annual salary wouldn’t even buy a cheap new car. Worked for 1-1/2 years and ended up going back. Sorry I didn’t stick it out. I’m glad you’re going for help. Wish I had! Good luck.