Extremely Untraditional Applicant, Autodidact

Applying to College
1

<p>Hello. My story is probably worthy of a book so I'll try to keep it short while still conveying all of the information. Feel free to ask additional questions. </p>

<p>My parents broke up when I was young. My mother received sole custody of my sister and I, despite never being a fit parent. She was a drug addicted prostitute and she abused and neglected all of her 5 kids from 3 fathers while living off (and buying drugs with) child support. And she is still married to my father, the first guy. I apologize if this sounds dramatic, but I am trying to convey my circumstances honestly.</p>

<p>I lived with her until I was 12, when she sent me to live with my dad. My sister decided to stay presumably not wanting to leave her friends behind. I haven't spoken to my mother since. I don't know how depressed and suicidal I was before this point, but by now people thought I was on drugs. Teachers, faculty, and my family labelled me as being "bad", without ever acknowledging my mental condition. I slept through class, tried to skip school as many days as I could, and played video games all night. I played online games for thousands of hours and was very competitive. I was regularly top rated. I completed middle school, and was even promoted to AP math and science, because all adults were sure I was gifted despite not producing much quality work (except tests). My memory declined to the point where I needed my class schedule every day of the year, and I would often get in trouble for things I don't remember doing. I was so anxious that I was unable to urinate with other people in the bathroom, so I had almost 1 tardy per day. I was never able to explain to anyone why I was tardy- once again I was the "bad" kid. The anxiety completely destroyed my ability to socialize. I had few friends despite so many people taking such a strong interest to me I was mythologized by my peers.</p>

<p>I dropped out a few months through high school, unable to jump through the hoops. I have barely spoke to anyone from my school since. Almost all of my time since has been spent in my room alone. Since I was 15 when I dropped out, my father had a legal obligation to homeschool me. He did not. I started to learn from Academic Earth, where I found Khan Academy. I taught myself from the internet and books to the point where people think I'm trying to show off when I talk to them about my interests. Occasionally, when I argue with people they say "you're just using big words to confuse me" or "Why use the word 'fallacious' when you could just say X?" When I was in 2nd grade, I tested at an 11th grade reading level. I have a huge book collection. My house is covered in books. That's where most of the money I'm gifted goes. I'm currently on a Russian literature binge. ;)
However, I would say that I did most of my academically relevant learning recently, in a very short period of time. I did quite a bit of study before this period, but I completely neglected maths for things I was more interested in at the time, like Napoleon, the Punic Wars, Ancient Greece, the Swedish Empire etc. </p>

<p>I was actually diagnosed with major depression and prescribed anti-depressants, which I chose not to take. The way I eventually overcame my depression and constant suicidal thoughts is kind of like a scene from the Matrix. Morpheus explains to Neo that not believing he can make the jump is what will cause him to fall. It sounds like something from a cheesy self-help book, but it took me years of reading neuroscience books and online psychology resources to realize. Feeling like crap made me not doing anything which caused and infinite loop. Though I am still somewhat anxious, I no longer feel held back from achievement by any disorder.</p>

<p>None of my parents and grandparents went to college. Both of my parents dropped out of high school. We're all poor as dirt and I only have a house to live in because of my grandmother. My father doesn't work because public assistance pays better than working for minimum wage (after garnishments), and his license was taken away due to unpaid child support. I desperately want to go to college, in part because I do not socialize and it drives me crazy. I am only willing to go to a very selective school. The people who don't take me seriously just make me want it more. I know at least I'm intellectually qualified. I'm about to take the SAT and I except to score well within the range these colleges accept (2200+ likely 800 in maths). The problem is I have no high school transcript, no home school transcript, and no records of anything. I don't have anyone to write a letter of recommendation, except my dad.</p>

<p>As far as "extracurriculars" go, once again I had little parental involvement, no transportation and other issues. I always wanted to learn fencing since I saw it in "Die Another Day". I love video games that involve swordplay. I just never got a chance. Soccer, baseball, basketball, and wrestling are all on my resume, but I was done with all of that before I got to high school due to my mental health. I am very interested in Chess. I was taught by a family friend, and I own and have read about 30 books on it. I did become a USCF member before my dad's license was taken away, but I hadn't gotten a chance to do tournaments, so I don't have a rating. I enjoy debating and teaching people about religion, mostly the Abrahamic religions and some cults. Singing, drawing, and photomanipulation are my hobbies, but I personally wouldn't yet rate my talent as exceptional yet (perhaps by the time I am admitted...). I know some forum goers are FAR more impressive, but I feel I did okay given my lack of opportunities and depression. I should also mention that the teachers and administrators of both my middle and high schools shared my essays around because of the quality and occasionally profound/shocking subject. My father and friends also enjoy reading them; they have asked me to write more often.</p>

<p>I won't state a major yet. I have an extremely broad academic interest, but at least as an income I want to design brain controlled prostheses, efficient power sources for artificial organs, etc. I have romanticized about becoming an experimental physicist. I feel strongly about entrepreneurship. I want to fulfil my dreams and not someone else's. There's a chance I could major in business.</p>

<p>Do you think I have a shot at a very selective school? Will they pardon my shortcomings due to extreme circumstances? How can I demonstrate ability to them in lieu of transcripts, diplomas, and such? I plan on taking several SAT subject tests. My friend who is a librarian, works at a top school, and seems quite familiar with academia says that I should spend a year at a community college, not to save money and transfer credits, but to demonstrate academic ability. She assures me I will be very bored, haha. What do you think of that idea?</p>

<p>Should I just start speaking with college admissions about how I can demonstrate ability? I don't live too far from Washington University in St. Louis, and it's definitely on my list. I appreciate advice. I sincerely appreciate it if you took the time to read my wall of text.</p>

2

<p>1) you’re correct when you assume selective colleges will be wary of admitting someone without a record of academic achievement. Indeed, your social isolation will also be a red flag
2) you’ve not once mentioned tuition and fees. Rather than fantasize about some future career, you need to find affordable solutions. (WUSTL isn’t one of them) </p>

<p>3)You’ve not mentioned how you plan to overcome your prior social hurdles. Thus, community college is a good stepping stone. It will ease you back, socially, into a learning community. Even if your classmates aren’t going to be your best buds, you’ll be faced with actual deadlines and also face the responsibility to get your work done, get to class on time each day.</p>

<p>3a) If you find the social issues still lingering, you should consider seeing a professional again. You confidently assess yourself as overcome the previous issues. How can you be objective at that?</p>

<p>Good luck</p>

3

<p>Thanks for the response, T26E4.</p>

<p>2) I did indeed write this before asking my family members if and how much they would contribute. However, I would rather employ my time in a more productive manner than go to a school I’m not interested in. If it means forsaking college entirely, so be it. I do not know how common it is for employers to waive degree requirements for autodidacts, but I am confident in my ability to teach myself if grants, loans, scholarships, and family are unable to cover the costs.</p>

<p>3a) I used to be unable to talk to people. My first serious partner made me shake slightly when we were intimate. When I had to talk to persons of authority e.g. principals I would shake. I hated talking to people on the phone. I don’t feel these are issues any more. The extent of my anxiety is basically occasionally increased heart rate and feeling slightly uncomfortable. But I can have a conversation with strangers without them thinking I’m weird. If I have socialization issues at community college, I will get help.</p>

4

<p>The nature of many workplaces and schools requires a high degree of personal interaction. This is why I suggested getting another assessment from a mental health professional. He/She can only give you tools to help you reach the goals which you’ve listed.</p>

<p>Employers routinely cite choosing applicants based on fit within an organization more than knowledge and skills. Also, due to your lack of context with others in a collaborative environment, you’re not a good judge of your actual abilities. You state you MUST attend a selective school. But you have no basis to evaluate whether or not you can succeed in that environment. If you’ve had a history of social issues, I’d recommend doing your best to confront this alongside with your other pursuits. You eat the elephant one bite at a time.</p>

5

<p>

</p>

<p>Like high school and college, most workplaces require you to do certain work THEY want you to do, not just pursue what interests you. I don’t see evidence in your post that you can do this. Your chances of (1) getting hired by an employer for a job that normally requires a degree if you don’t have one, and (2) succeeding in a workplace if you only want to do what you want to do are very minimal, IMHO. I will be blunt, as a manager who has worked in many different companies, you sound like you would be a very difficult employee.</p>

<p>Your post comes across as you feeling that you are “too good” (intellectually) to be bothered with structured environments. Plenty of very smart kids end up at CCs or less selective colleges because they can’t perform consistently in a structured environment. Or for financial or other reasons. You definitely would need to prove yourself in an environment like a CC before any selective college would consider you. It also will give you some practice dealing with people as well, which it sounds like you need.</p>

6

<p>In addition to the above, selective colleges exist not simply to offer a higher order of learning environment, but to operate and succeed per the definitions that they establish- and that includes a heavy component of playing by their rules, meeting their expectations of engaging in the ways that they feel benefit them, as a community. Ie, in and out of classes, intellectually and personally.</p>

<p>The number of exceptional cases that get admitted is so rare I can’t even say there is one sure such student annually. In contrast, if student proves through community college that they can adapt and adhere, follow the paths and patterns, and succeed, it could change the college’s reactions. Assuming their basic requirements are met.</p>

7

<p>You should take the high school equivalency exam, which is accepted (although not preferred) by almost all colleges.</p>

8

<p>Oldmom4896, I took the GED test in 2011 and passed. I am often told that it is important for high school drop outs, but I have never figured out why. The science and social studies sections, IIRC, consist of reading with all of the answers contained within the passages.</p>

9

<p>I assume you passed it? You didn’t actually say…</p>

10

<p>If you passed the exam, you have a diploma.</p>

11

<p>Sorry. Yes, I passed. I guess I was confused. So I have a diploma.</p>

12

<p>I think a year of CC sounds like a solid plan. " I want to fulfill my dreams and not someone else’s." That’s an inspired goal…but there are many, many steps that you have to take first, as I’m sure you know…many that can and will require less lofty things like following direction, adhering to rules and guidelines and directions, performing the more mundane and routine tasks in order to move toward the more dynamic. You sound like a really bright person who is all over the place, and who might benefit well from some structure.</p>

13

<p>Not such a bad idea to go to community college for a year and ace everything. And see how you do on the SAT (maybe try the ACT too).</p>

14

<p>Thanks a lot. Today I am going to start working out getting into community college.</p>

15

<p>Read your wall of text I don’t know why I usually don’t read those.</p>

<p>I’m in a similar situation, however my path was different to yours in several ways, atm I’m focusing on some SAT revision and preparing for some other exams which will add to my application on top of that I am learning some computer languages (I’m actually interested in programming, especially highly automated systems).</p>

<p>But I’m totally self taught.</p>

<p>The good thing in your case is that you are good at essay writing, when you do well in your exams your academic ability will be displayed, the essay will give you a chance to let your university know who you are and why you are passionate. </p>

<p>I believe they want someone whom is academically capable while at the same time well rounded and passionate about the course.</p>