<p>It doesn't seem fair the way FAFSA works if you are divorced and remarried. My ex and my son don't talk, and he won't help pay for college - so no problem that his income is not included (he doesn't have any anyway). However, I am remarried - and I have to include my new husband's income - even though he is not (legally) responsible for my son. Yes, he does love and support him - but he is not required to. Also, my husband has put 4 children through college - and is helping them with their loans - so between his divorce and their college expenses he has NO savings left to help with my kids. It would be so much better, and we would get more if I could just leave my current husband's info off the form. I know I can't - but I really feel like this isn't fair. Bottom line is that if we lived together, instead of marrying, my son would qualify for much more money. That is completely ridiculous! Maybe I should divorce my husband, just live together and remarry once the kids are through college. I'm sure no one has a solution to this. This is more just a vent ....</p>
<p>Dear NJ Missy, if your divorce was under the laws of the state of NJ, a court can order your ex to help. Its nice of you to say no problem that his income is not included, becasue that works in your son’s favor. Is your ex voluntarily unemployed? Is he on disability? As to your current husband, I agree that is unfair. I think the better answer is to allow states to required NCPs to help with college and have FAFSA look to both bioligical parents. If your DH is paying for his kid’s college, that will work into EFC, but if he is just helping them pay loans, I do not think so (unless the loans were Parent plus loans). I know of several couples near me who deferred second marriage till kids were out of school.</p>
<p>Thanks kayf. Ex is voluntarily unemployed or underemployed. I could get a court order - but he doesn’t pay his child support - so it’s not likely he would pay anything ordered by the court. Yes - eventually I will get it - but $50 a month isn’t going to help much now. I know people who lived together too - however that is not the lesson I want to teach my children. It’s interesting that our government, because the way they do FAFSA actually encourages people to not get married - instead of doing the right thing. My youngest is only 11 - and we married when he was 5. Waiting 13 years to marry would have been unreasonable - and I couldn’t teach my boys that living together for that long was the right thing either - so the consequence now is no money. Like I said - I know there is no solution - just a vent on the unfairness of it all. Because my husband and I did the right thing and got married - my kids get nothing. My co-worker - who has been living with her bf for 15 years got full aid because his income doesn’t count. It really makes no sense …</p>
<p>From what you have written, it appears that your current husband was putting his kids through college before you married. If so, you went into this situation with your eyes wide open. </p>
<p>Run the numbers based on your income alone, and then with your husband’s. Unless your children would qualify for a full Pell grant without his income, you really aren’t losing all that much. Most colleges and universities don’t come anywhere close to meeting their students real financial needs. If they did, your husband’s kids wouldn’t have needed the loans he is now helping them to pay off.</p>
<p>Determine what is affordable, and give your children that figure. That is all anyone can do.</p>
<p>I guess I went into it with my eyes open - but since my kids were young - I had no idea that FAFSA counted my husband’s income. Who would have thought? It never really crosed my mine. I thought college was for me and my ex to take care of and I knew he had and made no money. And I would qualify for so much more if we weren’t married - since he makes double what I make. So the income on the FAFSA would be 1/3 what it is now. Yes, my husband put his kids through college before we were married. </p>
<p>Anyway - again, not looking for a solution - I just don’t think the system makes any sense. It encourages people to live together instead of getting married. I don’t get that. Two people in the exact same financial situation - One makes it legal and gets screwed. The other doesn’t and gets lots of money for their children. The system is broken.</p>
<p>But you have to remember that there is no guarantee that if your kid and your colleague’s kid went to the same college/university your kid would indeed be “screwed” financially. Most places just plain don’t give all that much need-based aid. HYPS and a few others, yes. But most, no. Most places leave a ginormous yawning gap between the FAFSA and/or CSS Profile EFC and the amount of aid offered. Like so many other families with unaffordable EFCs, you will have to help your children shop around until they find places that are affordable for you either because they are cheap to begin with, or because they will will cough up enough merit aid to make the institution affordable.</p>
<p>Speak with your husband about this situation. If you tighten down the household budget, can he support everyone while your income goes to college expenses? Sometimes that can work.</p>
<p>Just curious…who takes the deduction for your kids on income tax?</p>
<p>NJMissy, I think part of the theory behind this is that even if your DH does not help you with your son’s tuition, he is (or should be) helping support household so you have more money to spend on your son. If he is spending all his money on his kid’s loans, then I think that is between you and him. I do not think there is any perfect solution on this. A single mom living alone has no one to split costs with, and I think it would be impossible to figure out who is really living togethor and who isnt.</p>
<p>Umm. Your husband is required to support your dependent son, in that he can’t just throw him out. He has to be treated as part of the household and the way any child is so treated in the family. How you distribute the money, is your own business, but there is an intrinsic responsibility to support your step child when you are living together as a family. It’s otherwise neglect. </p>
<p>The thing is, support is less easily pinned down when it’s 3 squares and cot. When you are talking about a new specific expense, that’s a whole other story. You can’t just integrate those amounts into one’s household. But really, your car insurance isn’t going to care that there are steps involved in the way they count drivers in the household and our government assesss a “marriage” tax. It’s just that the amounts for college are way up there that they get the attention. I mean, think about it. What would you think if someone says that their spouse won’t pay for a bite of food or a piece of clothing or medical expenses for a step.? You’d wonder why that person married such a clod, and that there sure wasn’t much consideration for the kid made in the decision. Steps are allowed on health insurance and are included as family in most settings, so why should payment of college be exempted? </p>
<p>Just as your ex’s finances are not used for FAFSA EFC, neither is your husband’s financials for his children’s finances. What he paid and is paying for his children is a matter of what the court order/divorce settlement says he must, and what he chooses to pay. There is no “fair” about it. It’s not fair that your son has a deadbeat dad, that his mom picked such a loser in the marriage lottery. Not fair at all. </p>
<p>My friend’s ex was a cardio vascular surgeon who made nearly a half milllion a year, but the kids were eligble for PELL because of the way ther rules work and his income and assets did not count. Hardly fair is it that it works that way? But the kids couldn’t get a dime out of any of their top choice schools that used PROFILE as well for financial aid , and did use the father’s financials, and he refused to pay a dime. So they went to local state schools on the tax payers dime with dad providing them with very nice cars and vacations and privileges as he felt like doing, but no real money. There is nothing fair about this at all.</p>
<p>Well, I understand how you feel. But the government considers the family, however it is constituted, and the student to be first on the hook for college expenses, before we the other nameless, faceless taxpayers out there contribute. And the government and many people feel that when someone marries into a pre-existing family, they marry into the whole family, financially included. Yes, it does encourage people not to get married and live together or alternatively live separately and get married later. </p>
<p>Consider the single parent who doesn’t have a 2nd income contributing to the family. You do have an advantage over them regardless of the contributions your husband has made and is making to his bio kids.</p>
<p>There needs to be hard and fast rules about these things to keep fafsa relatively simple and not subject to favoritism so yeah, all situations aren’t covered to the same degree of fairness. Many people struggle through the fafsa now as relatively straight forward as it is for most people. If the fafsa were to be made into a CSS profile type inquiry, it would seriously impact the ability of low income folks to handle and get Pell grants for what most students in this country do, live at home, work part-time or even full-time and attend a local CC or 4-year public.</p>
<p>By marrying you and your kids, it is assumed that your husband’s income is included in your household income. They are looking at total household income when figuring what you can afford.
Having been a child of divorce, twice, both times, my step dad’s income made a huge difference in our lifestyle relative to what it would have been on my mom’s salary alone. It seems fair to me that the husband’s income is included. You say your husband isn’t legally responsible for your boys, but he has agreed, by marrying you, to share what he earns with you. You two should figure out what you can afford to spend for your kids’ college and go from there.</p>
<p>I get the tax deduction for both kids - until he catches up in his child support arrears (which I don’t see happening anytime in the near future - if ever - before they are adults). Kayf - I understand on the single mom thing. Just saying that if we just lived together instead of getting married, I could ignore my husband’s income on the FAFSA. I know people who do this. I agree it would be impossible to figure out who is and isn’t living together - but there should be some way to calculate it differently if you are remarried. Anyway - nothing to do about it, we know we did the right thing - and now have to deal with the financial consequences.</p>
<p>I think it depends on the school too in terms of aide. Try to avoid falling in love with schools who require several forms in addition to FAFSA. We ran into a problem with first daughter when her school requires not only FAFSA but another form that I can’t recall and also a non-custodial parent form…it killed us and as a result , she didn’t get any aide other tan same student loans that any full time student at any institution qualifies for</p>
<p>Yes, you could ignore the husband’s income on the FAFSA if you did not marry. You also would not get certain other privileges like those years towards social security, health care coverage and other rights that marriage automatically bestows. On the other hand, you both get a task break in that the marriage tax is also avoided. No divorce process if you split up On the other hand , usually a lot less of an obligation to split things up in a ceratin way. There are advantages and disadvantages to getting marrried and being on the hook on college financial aid forms is one of the the diadvantages.</p>
<p>Please understand - my husband does support me and my kids. We are a family and he takes on full responsibility. I am not saying he doesn’t or won’t and we will get my kids through college, just as we are making family sacrifices to help his kids out. We don’t see them as his kids or my kids - they are all OUR kids.</p>
<p>ALL I am saying is that if we lived together instead of getting married - our situation would be exactly the same as it is now - same money, same house, same bills, same kids to support - and the remaining children (who happen to be mine biologically) would get much more aid. I think it is wrong that the system encourages divorced people to live together instead of getting remarried.</p>
<p>How is more fair to use state and federal money (other peoples’ money) over family money for education?</p>
<p>But you wouldn’t be on his health insurance, you wouldn’t be getting social security years credit and you wouldn’t have the protections that marriage gives you. That’s a trade off. You didn’t have to get legally married. A ceremeony without the legal license would have done just as well. You filed for a marriage license to get the legal rights, protections, and…yes, costs. </p>
<p>However,nothing is fair across the board. There are niches of unfairness throughout the college process. If your ex were a millionaire, his wealth wouldn’t be counted for FAFSA. Not fair. Your pension money is not counted by FAFSA, but since we did not as good of a plan where we worked, most of our pension assets are non qualifed and get counted, not fair. Primary home is not included, but if a family decided to rent and stash the money instead, it is . Not fair. Kid saves summer money, it gets hit 20% for EFC, whereas the kid who blows it gets a zero for savings. Not fair. A lot of not fair here, and i’ve not even scratched below the surface.</p>
<p>So what do you think should be fair? What if you married a billionaire? Does it make sense that your kid would be eligible for federal aid that is for the poorest famiiles if you don’t work and have your own assets but live in a $20million dollar home as does your kid and have all needs taken care of? Where does one draw the line? Now if your ex were that billionaire, it would not count. Yeah, not fair or lucky, depending on where you are in the situation.</p>
<p>If you weren’t married, would you and the children have the same health insurance at the same cost as you do now?</p>
<p>The POINT is that YOU and your son are not solely living off your income alone. Your H’s income is also supporting the household. Therefore, any computation that only uses YOUR income would be unfairly misleading. It would be assuming that only YOUR income is supporting the household, which is NOT true.</p>
<p>The fact that your H is also supporting the household (rent, utilities, etc), then THAT means that MORE of YOUR income can go towards college costs.</p>
<p>There are no perfect answers (or if there are, please post). Nothing will be fair to all. OP is complaining that if she didn’t get married, her husband’s income would not be counted and that she is being treated worse than the woman who lives with, but doesn’t marry her partner. Ok, but what about other groups of people, like single mother with no partner. She may say, why should OP get the same aid as I do. I have no one to help me? What about a married couple, whose joint income is less than OP and her DH? They might say, why should we get less aid than OP?</p>