My career goal is to be a computer programmer. I have ran and programmed websites in the past, so I do have a bit of experience.
In the past, I struggled a lot during elementary, middle, and high school. In high school, my grades were so bad that I almost wanted to drop out of high school, but instead I went to an Alternative school to make up my credits in High School. Long story short, I graduated with a High School Diploma.
Now, here is the problem. I am failing my classes in community college… I have 2 F’s and 1 D. They are easy classes too. I have failed all my exams on those two classes. I might end up being placed on Academic Probation. I thought I was ready for college, but I guess not. I have tried everything, stayed positive hoping college was going to be something new, only to see myself failing all my courses. Every single thing in college is difficult for me to understand. For example, I try to study for a test, only to find out that I failed the exam. I have a hard time understanding and learning. Its been like this for YEARS and YEARS. As a result, I have given up on everything. I have no motivation, and no interest in anything. My self-esteem is gone. I can’t even get off my bed. I dread going to school, or going outside of my room. I had this feeling throughout my life during middle and high school. I honestly feel like I should just drop out of college, but at the same time I don’t want to spend my entire life at McDonalds. I have already worked at McDonalds, and it f*cking sucks. My parents have been pushing me to college for years now, but they don’t know that I am failing all my classes. My family is going, or has gone to prestigious universities, but out of all my family members, I had to be the one failing everything.
What should I do now? Where should I turn? How do I explain this to my parents? I know they will be very angry or disappointed at me, especially since they’re the ones paying for my classes.
You sit down with your parents and tell them the truth. Believe it or not, they might be in the best position to help you figure out how to solve your issues. If you have struggled academically for years there may be a specific reason and you might benefit from some testing to figure out why. You might have to take few classes at a time and might need some accommodations.
What kind of struggles did you have in elementary school? How were they addressed? One of the signs of a learning disability is struggling even though you have good study habits. Google “learning disabilities” and see if you recognize any symptoms. Dyslexia, executive functioning disorder, and ADHD are all common challenges. Write down any symptoms that sound like you, then talk to your parents and ask for their help. If you’re trying, then your grades are a symptom of something (maybe something as simple as needing a stronger foundation in certain subjects), but you won’t improve until you address the underlying problem. I think you should ask them to find a neurological psychologist so you can be tested for dyslexia and other learning disabilities. Good luck.
Do you go to class every time? Do you read the chapter of the book before the lecture? Do you do all the homework?
DO you ask for help from the professor if you have a question? Did you get a tutor? Did you form a study group?
or is there some underlying issue?
Use the college resources to help you figure out the problem
Go to the academic success center/study skills and get evaluated
Talk to your professors and see what they think the issue is…show them the notes you take, and how you study, how much time you spend studying
Do you have a learning disability? Can you get evaluated?
Go to the college counseling center and tell them about your distress
As far as your parents:
Once you get the results from the above, talk to them. Explain what you are doing and ask for their advice. Tell them that you do want to go to college but what you are doing isn’t working and what do they suggest?
Thank you for the responses. I will try to talk to my parents this weekend, unfortunately they’ve been really busy with work.
Do you go to class every time?
Yes I did. I only skipped around 2-3 days of class but that’s because I was ill.
Do you read the chapter of the book before the lecture?
Sometimes.
Do you do all the homework?
Yes, however I average around 60-70%
DO you ask for help from the professor if you have a question?
I only did this once. I still failed the first exam, despite getting help.
Did you get a tutor? Did you form a study group?
No.
And is the computer programmer path you chose in any way related to video games?
Somewhat.
What kind of struggles did you have in elementary school?
I have a hard time focusing, paying attention, remembering things. I have no motivation to do anything. I always thought that education didn’t matter. I would show up to class, take notes, .ect and when I do my homework or study for a test, it is very difficult for me to remember the things I learned. Almost every time, I needed help from my older sister or my friends. I always relied on someone for help (and it sucks to say it, but it is what it is). Now, I don’t have anyone to turn to.
What subjects are you taking? are they computer programming classes or other subjects?
I am taking General Ed to transfer to a university (at least that was my original plan). I do not have any computer programming classes at the moment. I am taking Anthropology, Math 90, and Art History.
Have you ever had any testing for any kind of learning disability?
I have been tested a lot throughout my childhood for a variety of learning disabilities. I have been tested for ADD, Depression, Social Anxiety, and multiple personality disorders. However, my parents never followed through the results, so I can’t get an exact answer.
IMO, you should really follow-up on those results.
Proper self-evaluations can provides direction to the resources you may need to perform better in academia.
I just got placed on Academic Probation as a result of me failing all 3 of those clases. I told my parents about this and they were not happy. However, they did say that I might as well take vocational courses or start my own business. But honestly, I don’t know if that’s the right path for me. All the vocational classes don’t seem to interest me. I don’t have the motivation to (really) do anything at this point. I think I’ll just give up college for now. Thank you guys.
@HiroTheLitten, it depends on how thorough your doctor is. I remember my first psychiatrist just had a 20-question questionnaire to assess if you suffered from ADHD. If you scored in some range, you were put on medication, no further questions asked. Other times, your doctor will require you to go through a battery of tests, some 6 hours long, to get assessed for ADHD and then will probably order you to try CBT first where you talk to a therapist for months before even considering medication.
On the other hand, depression is incredibly easy to be diagnosed with. No testing necessary. From experience, you’re prescribed medication instantly because the doctor has to do something to prove to your insurance company you have a problem and were treated.
But it’s your choice how you want to deal with depression–you can take medication or you can try therapy. Both are equally hit-or-miss and slow.
Maybe you are put on meds…maybe you learn coping techniques…like when you study, make sure to have no distractions. No computer, no cellphone, no TV. Set a timer for 30 minutes where you try to focus focus.
Please talk to a counselor at your community college. You aren’t taking advantage of the help colleges offer students. A good counselor can point you in the right direction for understanding what is holding you back. You may have a learning disability or other problem that can be corrected. The first step is a diagnosis. You might have to take some medication, although it could be temporary while you learn other coping skills.
You say you joined no study groups, and yet in college this is one of the most common ways to study successfully. You also didn’t use a tutor, although most colleges have free tutors available and a center to teach study skills.
You are trying to deal with this problem on your own and unfortunately, your parents aren’t giving you any support. You have ran and programmed websites, so you are obviously very smart and more than capable of being successful in college. Go to the counseling center and make an appointment. Make sure it’s not with a peer (fellow student) counselor. Explain that you need to see someone who can analyze learning disabilities. With the right help, you will be amazed at how things can turn around.
Please seek help from a licensed professional. They almost HAVE to offer you medication because that is considered the proper “standard of care,” for better or for worse. No one can MAKE you take it, but it might make a huge difference in your experience of the world.
I urge you to stop seeing this as an academic problem. It’s a motivation issue, which may nor may not be tied to depression, ADD, etc. This is not an issue of how capable you are - it’s an issue of how to generate motivation required to get some basic things done.
I’d also point out that you DO have motivation - it’s just not towards academic things. If you have programmed web sites and built apps or whatever, then you CAN set goals and reach them.
You also are motivated to feel better and seek answers - that’s why you posted on this forum.
So - PLEASE consult with a qualified professional. Answers will NOT come quickly, but they will come when you are in a supportive environment, get the proper diagnosis if appropriate, and then the treatment if needed.
Well, you might learn through a comprehensive neuropysch evaluation that you have a problem with working memory, among the other learning differences you feel you have experienced. That makes it so hard to progress in school. So, get evaluated and diagnosed. Work with the evaluation results to design your way forward given your needs and differences. Start any appropriate treatment. Research how students with your conditions become successful ing college and careers. Maybe stop out of college for a year, work, and get your good mood and some confidence back. Get to know some positive career-minded friends. Then, head back to school part-time (two courses) to improve your GPA and test out your new learning skills. You might have to educate your busy parents on this, so help them understand what you need to transition into college/career. I’m sure they want the best for you, but they might not have much info on how hard school is for students with disabilities or differences.
Since you reported being tested throughout your time in school, you might check back with your high school and see if you can get access to your educational records (I’m assuming you are now an adult). Just because your parents decided not to follow through with any test results does not mean you could not have benefited from some sort of academic assistance. Seeing the results now might help you understand how your brain works.
You can also try talking to the disability resource center in your college, with the test results if possible. Otherwise, tell them that you know you were tested but your parents would not follow through, but you suspect you may have a problem. Ask them where would they recommend you go for help. (My guess is you will have to be tested outside the college but once you have a diagnosis, they can help you.)
You have to access the disability resource center and start working with the student tutors on campus.
It sounds like the previous testing indicated that there were issues in the way that you learn.
No, not all learning problems require medications.
Resource specialists, speech pathologists and reading specialists, on campus, can teach you some strategies on how to learn conventional information via unconventional strategies.
You need to advise your campus advisors and Dean about your previous learning style history; ask them to have your tests responses reviewed and then evaluate the responses to the questions asked.