<p>To start off, Im very likely near-failing 2 of my college classes. Because of this, I have become severely depressed over this first semester of University and its hurting me badly. I dont blame my professors for they are definitely some of the finest instructors I have ever met, I only blame myself. Im getting so depressed that I really wanna get out of here. I have a lot of apologies to make to my friends, but above all, my parents and my older sister. So lets track this from the beginning:
I told my parents that I didnt feel confident for college, nor did I think I would be worth investing an extremely high amount of money for an out-of-state-flagship school. So I failed 2 math midterms (53% and 54%) and I never sought help from a professor or TA. I also bombed one of my computer science midterms (with a 30%) by the means of half-assing it. Again, I have NEVER sought and probably never even introduced myself to my professors when I had the prime time to do so. Instead, I spent way too much time napping, irresponsibly putting recreation before studies, and relying too much on acquaintances on helping with my homework. What makes this even worse, is the fact that I lied to my parents over the phone and to their faces that I was keeping up a GPA of 3, and the fact that theyve invested 12 or 13 thousand dollars on this semester, just for me, and I have failed their expectations of me. I got so depressed that I missed a homework assignment worth 7% of my grade.
I just wanna just get out of here, go back home, spend the first 8 months of 2014 working minimum wage jobs (or $9 or $10 since I do have half a dozen contacts back at home) full-time or near-full-time. I have discovered that maybe college is not for me at this time, and that I really really need to grow up and mature, because I havent discovered the value of my dads $13,000 or how hard he worked for it. But it seems that the way my parents want me to be in the future strongly do not coincide with the way I see my future. My future just needs a new path of opportunity, and I dont think that I have fully built that path yet, but I really want to, and I want to do it with my own judgment, and not my parents or friends. I really need to see the value and what it really means when I see that my dad put $13,000 of his own hard-earned cash, only for me to abuse it. After 8 months of working, I want to re-enroll in my community college.
I know that my friends parents are not gonna be happy, and my dad will give me a good yelling, but I hope that they can understand that as humans, we make mistakes, especially when we go to unknowns for the first time ever. I really need to grow up and see the value in things, and what it truly means to be a hard worker. Yes, I may be lazy now, but if I move myself to an environment where I can harness my talents and whatever work ethic I may still have and grow it on my own, I wont be lazy.
Please, I really need some help and guidance. I know that I believe in self-reliance, but a little bit of help and support never hurts. I know that this will be a bumpy road for the next couple of months, but Im losing sleep to being depressed all about it, and Im going to see a psychiatrist or a counselor to get this part hopefully solved.</p>
<p>Have you talked to your parents about this? That’s step number one. They may be mad, but it doesn’t look like you many other options.</p>
<p>Taking responsibility for your actions is a great first step, but now you need to take action.</p>
<p>Talking with your parents is the first step. Not everyone is ready for college and thereis nothing wrong with that. </p>
<p>Also you may want to consider going to community college part time while working. It is a good thing thing you are realizing this early on.</p>
<p>You need to talk with your school to see what your options are for properly withdrawing if that is what you decide. There are procedures for doing this which could allow you to return at a future date. You also need to understand what is allowed in terms of taking courses at an another school during that period. You do not just want to leave without doing necessary paperwork. Finish all your exams and work. This is not an uncommon situation. There are people on campus who can help you with this.</p>
<p>As for the parents, you need to talk to them NOW! They have probably already gotten the bill for next semester.</p>
<p>I understand you a lot. The only way I managed to past this last term was by dropping a course. I obviously wasn’t mentally prepared for what I went into. Here’s some advice that might be useful as it’s what I’m currently thinking about for my situation. </p>
<p>First, that depression is big and probably the first thing I would look at in regards to this situation. Before coming home, I didn’t eat if it required me leaving my dorm and I moped around all the time (this is gross, but it was a miracle if I even had the energy to shower lol). I got super isolated. I was depressed all term long, teetering on and off the suicide wagon, and thankfully had free access to counselors and a psychiatrist as part of my student health insurance. The depression caused me to do bad in school (I didn’t, and as I still have it, don’t see the point of it all much anymore), and doing bad in school worsened my depression.</p>
<p>The things to consider with this are is the school making you depressed, in which maybe you should think of alternative options or transfer, or is the depression just clouding your experience in school. Once you figure that out it’s easier to way your options. Unfortunately, you are also having to consider the financial stipulations of the situation. However, don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re young, and make mistakes. You had no way of knowing it would be like this until you experienced it, and the emotions you feel in regards to what happened are to be expected and your parents will probably understand that.</p>
<p>Back to the main point, the main options to consider are 1) continuing your education where your at. 2) transferring, and 3) thinking of a new strategy that involves getting in the job market, community college, etc…</p>
<p>As far as what I’m thinking in regards to myself, the third option, although it sounds SOOO nice, I don’t think would work very well considering the costs of living on my own and my mental state. If you are depressed, and you were to follow option number three and move out of the house, the chances of the depression getting worse are definitely present. One, you might have to face the potential “I’m a loser, why couldn’t I stay in college, etc…” of negative thoughts associated with this, which would only make things worse. You have to ask yourself if this is what you want and would you be happy with yourself 4 months into this. Why do you want this option? Lack of motivation, searching for an easier lifestyle, or is it really what you want? If not, then maybe you should consider another term or two at school until you’ve decided. I personally find thinking about returning and doing it all again much less daunting when I take it term at a time.</p>
<p>Also, you may want to consider a transfer. Maybe the school just had a bad vibe that you can’t nail down that didn’t mesh well with you. A different school may make the difference. That, or maybe a break would be nice. Take a term of a year off. </p>
<p>If you like me, then you also may be thinking that college doesn’t work for you in terms of what you want to do. For the most part, I just want I nice basic job. I know some of the things I like, and I’m a simpler person. I don’t have large ambitions like everyone else at my school seems to have. I want to work with my hands or something. When I think about it, my interests were much more along the lines of tech school than a Liberal Arts university. However, I know that a degree, at least in a lot of places, equates to a higher paycheck. If I graduate, where I live at least, I’ll automatically make much more mula even if I do so with a barely passing GPA and major in philosophy. </p>
<p>Since it’s early on, consider just taking BS classes next term, finding a topic vaguely interesting/easy, and mold a major out of it. Even if it has NOTHING to do with what your career’s going to eventually be, it still gives you higher chance of bringing in the monies.</p>
<p>Yes, talk to your parents right away. I have already received the bill for my kid’s next semester and paid it – although your parents likely would get the money back if you withdraw, don’t make them do that. Take your licking today… it sounds like it is too late to salvage this semester, and you don’t want to come back next semester. Follow noname87’s advice.</p>
<p>Email this to your parents, especially the second half</p>
<p>Noname has good advice</p>
<p>talk to parents</p>