I used a similar car analogy about six months ago in a financial aid discussion, so I understand where you’re coming from. In my case it was you don’t get to know the price of the car until you show them your tax returns, and then they tell you what you’ll be paying for the car.
However, nobody is holding a gun to your head and telling you to pony up the money, and there are other excellent schools out there that won’t take you for a ride financially.
It is only your insistence that the elite schools should be required to give you a good deal that is rubbing people the wrong way.
I don’t think you (or any parents) get to make the rules, unfortunately. It’s the elites’ game, it’s their football, and they can play with whom they’d like. Getting mad about it is pointless and probably bad for your health.