<p>My mother didn’t have a traditional go-away college experience - finances precluded her from doing anything other than going to night school while she worked during the day. I think she had romantic illusions about the whole thing. When she came up for my parents’ weekend nearly (gulp) 30 years ago, she was quite distressed to see professors wearing casual (and frankly sloppy) clothing; she felt for the money she was paying, she wanted to see them wear the quintessential tweed jackets with leather patches on the elbows, lol.</p>
<p>Quite frankly, I just don’t believe that all of that article is true. I think it was written as a humorous piece, not to be taken seriously.</p>
<p>Mom of two who are far, far away at school
MAY attend a parent’s weekend in Nov - not sure
I would never buy alcohol for either of mine/their friends - this scenario just wouldn’t happen.
I thought the girl and her friends came across as snotty.</p>
<p>I never will understand how and why a parent would put up with this sort of spoiled snotty behavior. I would have cut her off at the first eye roll.(I’m sure I’ve been the butt end of an eye roll, but D has the good sense to pull that when I’m out of the room) Sounds like things have come pretty easy for this brat. I hope to god this article is not true (it certainly was depressing instead of being humorous or cute)</p>
<p>I thought the article was hilarious…have two well behaved and well adjusted daughters but believe me, they have certainly had moments like these! Have heard this story umpteen times…just not as funny since they weren’t written! 
And as far as alcohol…it is NOT illegal in to purchase alcohol for your underage kids in some states.</p>
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<p>I believe I stated that it was illegal in some cases. Laws vary from state to state. Giving your underage student a glass of wine in your own home is much different than purchasing alcohol for them to consume later in their dorm, most likely with other students. Alcohol in your home is not illegal. If your student is underage, it is often an offense to have it in their dorm. You can’t equate the two.</p>
<p>Iguana…wasn’t replying to you (actually hadn’t even read your post) but fwiw you can also purchase alcohol at bars for your kid in some states, doesn’t have to be in your home. You may infer the alcohol was for the dorm but it wasn’t directly stated. Regardless of the alcohol…still a very funny story that I’ve heard from almost every mom of daughters that I know at some point in their development.</p>
<p>Fair enough NM.
It sounds like you found a way to enjoy family weekend with your student. Despite stereotypes, I think boys can be as obnoxious as girls. They are all individuals and family dynamics are something that can often only be understood, and forgiven, by…well…family.</p>
<p>Haha! Have never bought my girls alcohol! But we have enjoyed Family weekend !</p>
<p>I’m sorry NM. I didn’t mean to insinuate that. You spoke of your girls and it sounded like you found a happy medium of expectations. That’s what I was referring to.</p>
<p>NM:
You said “You may infer the alcohol was for the dorm but it wasn’t directly stated.”</p>
<p>Quoting the NYT piece:
" Am I really buying a box of wine and a six-pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade for my underage daughter? Yes, I am."</p>
<p>So, you think that the girls just drank the box of wine AND the six-pack in the back seat, on the way back to the dorm? What else could we infer?</p>
<p>read it.
I think I’d buy Krugerrands Gold pieces as shown in the banner ad. :)</p>
<p>I actually loved the fact that the writer was so open about buying alcohol!
Or maybe/is it possible? she was playing with us, her readers?</p>
<p>Anyway, I think that 21 as a legal drinking age is stupid. You can die for you country at 18 but you can’t have a glass of wine ;)</p>
<p>I thought this article was quite humorous, and it nailed the continuum of emotions that most parents of college kids face.</p>
<p>I believe it was indeed written with intended irony, sarcasm, and humor. I don’t believe it was written to be dissected ---- the cracks about the rolling eyes and impatient daughter, the mom who’s resigned herself to stoop so low as to buy the kids alcohol ---- these are written from the point of view of a parent who loves her daughter, but understands what a normal separation and cutting of the apron strings can do in such a relationship.</p>
<p>Sometimes you just have to sit back, read, and nod your head. It wasn’t meant to be an expose on wars in the mideast, domestic poverty, or a chronic housing crisis for disabled vets.</p>
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<p>Yes, yes, yes.</p>
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<p>I completely agree. For the last year, I have offered S a glass of wine with dinner at home if we are having it–and we usually are–since I know that when he was in France for a term he became accustomed to civilized wine with meals with his host family. He does not drive, so that is not an issue.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I would NEVER buy alcohol for my freshman to take back to the dorm given today’s drinking laws.</p>
<p>At my S’s school, the local police just charged a fraternity with providing alcohol to minors, an offense carrying a fine of up to $100K because they are viewed as a corporation–get this-- after of a Good Samaritan call!! The local police are willing to undermine the one thing that safeguards kids who drink from death by alcohol poisoning in order to collect a scalp. I find this development truly shocking. </p>
<p>They have charged two or three other houses, including a sorority and a coed house, with the same thing in the last few months.</p>
<p>So whatever our personal thoughts about the rationale behind the drinking laws, it simply is not sufficient to wink and say tee-hee when contemplating providing alcohol for your underage student to share with other underage students. You could end up in jail.</p>
<p>We have found the family weekends we have attended, two for S1 and now one for S2, to be delightful. We attend the sponsored faculty lectures and greatly enjoy them, walk the campus and try and get a feel for it during regular school time, and meet the kids’ friends. Both boys were not in the least bit reluctant to take us to their dorm, introduce us to almost everyone on the floor, and spend time talking about how things are going. We plan around the social events they may have and work out a schedule. We are currently at S2’s family weekend. We went to a school sponsored outdoor concert last night, it was great, parted ways after folding just washed clothes in the dorm about 10 pm, meeting today at 2:30 at a football game and will spend the rest of the day together (including dinner and more music with a famous local musician later in the evening, we bought extra tickets so he could invite friends if he wants). Tomorrow we have reservations at a higher end restaurant as a parting treat. We scheduled nothing in the mornings, as we know the kids stay our late and sleep late, so we are not intruding on their social time. There was one interruption in Friday plans when he asked if we could postpone an event for some work he needed to finish. We liked that a lot!</p>
<p>Glad to hear someone else talk about laundry! When we visited S for Family Weekend his freshman year (several months into the school year), we did some stuff together, then later Saturday afternoon he needed to study for a while – and his Dad and I offered to do laundry for him while he studied. When we brought the clean, folded laundry back to his room, you would have thought we had presented him with gold and jewels. He was so profoundly grateful that it was almost as if he had forgotten we had been doing most of his laundry for most of the previous 18 years.</p>
<p>Anyway, the most touching part of this was that he visited his freshman sister at college this fall a couple weeks after she started school (and before classes started for him) – and while she was at class he got her caught up on laundry. Made me very proud.</p>