<p>A little background on family history - bio mother and I moved to Alaska from different country years ago when she got married to my step father. As for my bio father, I haven't seen him since I was really little, and haven't had any contact with him. As far as I know, he still lives in the same country, but who knows. Anyways, my step father doesn't wanna pay for my college. I guess I understand where he's coming from, it's a lot of money to put into someone's education who's not his real kid, and plus he's got two kids of his own who he's going to have to pay college for, starting from next year. Financial situation is kinda complicated, cause my mother works for my stepdad at his family restaurant that his owns, and doesn't get paid for it. Their adjusted gross income is 56k. My step dad keeps saying that he doesn't have to put anything into FASFA, that he doesn't have to be a part of it. I wish it was like that, cause then my EFC would be down to like nothing. Is there anyway to make it so that he doesn't have to be a part of it? If he does have to be a part of my FASFA, it looks like im not going to be able to go my colleges that I've already applied to, cause even with their grants and merit scholarships, I'm not gonna be able to come up with 10k a year for school. My mother can't either, because she works with my stepdad without a paycheck of her own. Now that I think about it, it kinda seems unfair, but I guess I can't complain. ANyone in similar situation??</p>
<p>I do not understand why you think it is unfair. If anyone is being unfair to you, it is your stepdad who is unwilling to fill out the FAFSA. Keep in mind the first people in line to pay for your education are your parents. So basically you are saying that because your stepdad (who you and your mom benefit from being in the marriage) does not want to pay, that the american taxpayers should pay. </p>
<p>The FAFSA has to be filled out using both of your mom’s and your stepdad’s income and assets.</p>
<p>Okay, jellyman, I know that you were looking at a bunch of unaffordable out-of-state public schools . . . but I know that you also looked at the automatic/guaranteed scholarship schools and, at least at one point, were considering the Alabama schools - UA, UAB, and UAH. What happened with those - did end up applying or not?</p>
<p>First, your mom needs to insist that she start receiving a pay check. your Stepdad can’t have it both ways…have your mom work for FREE, and then not expect to contribute anything towards your college.</p>
<p>Furthermore, your Sdad is being unfair because he’s going to be using your mom’s “free labor” to help pay for HIS kids’ college costs. That is unfair. Instead of paying your mom, he’ll have THAT money to put towards HIS kids’ college costs. </p>
<p>So, tell your mom that SHE needs to be paid so that SHE will have money to put towards your college costs…just like your Sdad will be using some of HIS income to put towards HIS kids’ college costs.</p>
<p>Jeesh.</p>
<p>Either way, you won’t be able to fill out FAFSA unless you use both parents’ incomes. Mom’s and stepdad’s.</p>
<p>No, there is no way out of it. Do have the school counselor call or write to your step father explaining that without his information on the FAFSA, you cannot get ANY aid whatsoever, that the rules are for FAFSA that the step parent of the custodial parent has to give financial information. Federal rules. Non custodial dad is not in the picture for FAFSA.</p>
<p>I’m sorry you are going throgh this. A lot of kids do, even with both parents intact. My DH’s uncle did not want to give out any financial info, like zip, refused to take the time out to fill in the form–he was two years behind in taxes and just didn’t want to do it.</p>
<p>Your mom needs to tell your Sdad…since you’re not contributing towards my kid’s college costs, then I’m not going to work for free so that you can have more money to put towards YOUR children’s college costs.</p>
<p>OP, most people don’t know how it works with college financial aid. It’s really not a simple process. In order to get federal aid, most state aid, and aid at any college, the FAFSA needs to be completed. And federal laws dictate what information is needed on that. There are couples who specifically have stated in prenuptial agreements that step children college will not be covered. The same in divorce decrees. Doesn’t matter. FAFSA requires the info for the custodial parent and spouse. Period. End of the matter. Regardless of any iron clad agreements made. And the doors won’t open even a crack in terms of financail aid without a completed FAFSA. </p>
<p>However, it doesn’t mean that when your step dad fills in the info, which will be checked against the 2012 tax return, make sure he knows, that, …there is no requirement that he pay a cent. The information just is there to determine eligibility for aid. Even if he is Donald Trump or Rockefeller, there is no law to make him pay. </p>
<p>So make it easy for him. Make sure you and he don’t fill it out on day when the accounts are flush with money since the assets are to be listed on the day you complete the FAFSA–make sure that mortgage has cleared the account. And any money you have stashed, you might want to open an account with your mom with her ssn and pay her your expenses in there to hold as a slush fund since any money in your name goes directly to the FAFSA EFC at 20% whereas parents have an exclusion allowance and only 5.6% is taken over that. </p>
mom2collegekids has nailed it. Your Sdad is being selfish. Not really having anything to do with finaid (unless he dies and there is an inheritance), but maybe she’s not even in his will? </p>
<p>Also, it’s a shame that she isn’t getting Social Security -credited quarters. Or is she all set with that, because she worked for years previously? </p>
<p>Another q – in another thread you wrote that your mom can contribute $5k/year towards college. Where would that money come from?</p>
<p>Legally if you are going to fill out the FAFSA, he does have to provide information. BUT, this does not mean anyone is going to go into his bank accounts and take out the money to pay the college bills. It is what gives colleges the information they need to decide how much aid to give you. His decision on whether to actually contribute what they expect him to is a separate thing than his decision to provide the information for the FAFSA. Think of it as a difference of opinion on how much each party should pay (your stepfather thinks he should pay less than the colleges & federal government think he should).</p>
<p>So I would try to present it to him as a separate thing… that without his info you can’t apply for aid AT ALL, and thus will get nothing. And that he has NO legal obligation to pay just because he filled out the FAFSA.</p>
<p>Convincing him to pay is a whole different discussion… Agree with the poster about you looking into school like Alabama.</p>
<p>I don’t think giving advice on marriage/family arrangements is useful as who knows how volatile the situation is and the details of it. Suffice that the facts be given which is that the stepfather’s info is needed, and it will be more believable if a counselor at the school calls and writes and says so. </p>
<p>Getting money from anywhere is a whole other issue. Perhaps asking for a job at the restaurant for college bills is something to try. Discuss the situation with your mother and let her know what your options are and what the costs will be.</p>
<p>First, she should not be working for free. Is it legal, yes, but it is wrong. He is benefiting greatly from her work. It seems that he thinks she is working in exchange for room and board - yet he married your mother.</p>
<p>FAFSA needs information from both parents - I can’t imagine he’s filing taxes separately, that would make no sense with your mother not having income of her own. He is complaining that he has to pay for his own kids’ education, but he clearly doesn’t know how the FAFSA formula works. You say his child will also be in college starting next year. That means your family will have 2 in college, and will qualify to split the EFC between you. In terms of financial need, his child benefits from having you in the family!</p>
<p>Your mother needs to stand up for both you and herself. Your stepfather has a right to refuse to pay for your education - but she has a right (and a responsibility) to sa she’s not going to work for free. This may seem insensitive, but it makes it look like it is a marriage of convenience - she had legal entry into the US, and he got free labor. You need to find out the true situation, and work from there. Given his being so adamant about not being on your FAFSA, it also make the cynic in me wonder if there’s something he’s hiding, that he would have control over on his kids’ FAFSA, but not on yours. Is he the custodial parent? If not, maybe he is also planning on not submitting FAFSA information for them as well (and hope they don’t want to attend a CSS school).</p>
<p>Agreed. This is NONE of our business (or the OP’s for that matter). Plenty of couple own a small business and run it together without either spouse ever being a salaried employee. It’s not a remarkable arrangement. Is it ideal? No. Could it result in imbalance of power in the marriage where one spouse controls all marital assets? Yes, clearly. Still, it’s none of our damned business!</p>
<p>Intparent’s advice (post #10 above) was good: the OP needs to explain to stepdad that providing his financial info for FAFSA will IN NO WAY obligate him to pay even a penny towards to OP’s college expenses.</p>
<p>Let’s help the OP get the FAFSA submitted . . . and leave the restructuring of the parents’ financial arrangements for another day.</p>
<p>It may be none of our business, but the OP brought the situation to us. It’s not like we asked a nosy question. The CC board often discusses issues that are “none of our business”. </p>
<p>Yes, in many families, there is a family run business where one spouse doesn’t actually get a salary. My in-laws did that. MIL worked for her H for free as his secretary/assistant. However, she had total access to the family income…so she really wasn’t working for free.</p>
<p>In a divorce/remarriage situation the issues are very different. Financial obligations are often different. The StepDad feels no obligation to contribute. Fine. We “get” that…many Step parents feel that way. However, since the mom is working for him for FREE, then that changes things a bit. She is helping earn the “family income”. And, since the StepDad intends to use some of the “family income” to pay for his biokids’ college, it is only fair that the mom have that option as well. </p>
<p>The reason I brought up the inconsistency and believe that the OP should mention it to the mom is because she may not have thought to look at it that way. Unless she’s a doormat, she may likely realize that she needs to “make things right” and either insist that she get paid, or that a certain amount of the “family income” goes towards OP’s college costs. The mom may decide that she needs to actually earn a real income and decide to work as a waitress at another restaurant so that she’ll actually have a paycheck. </p>
<p>If the OP brings the subject up to the mom and she is afraid to go further with the issue, then fine. However, if she feels that the point is legitimate to mention to the stepdad and the stepdad then agrees, the OP will “win”.</p>
<p>I don’t think the OP was asking how to get his stepdad to pay. Nor was he asking for help in changing the family dynamic regarding his mom’s work. He is asking how to get his stepparent to fill out the FAFSA. Uncoupling that (for now) from asking him to pay is a way for the OP to accomplish his initial goal. </p>
<p>The point that filling out the FAFSA for both the OP and eventually for his own kid potentially allowing more aid for BOTH kids could be a good incentive for the stepdad.</p>
<p>Now… if he is fudging his taxes or not filing taxes at all, he may refuse to fill it out no matter what. Hopefully that is not the case, though. :(</p>
<p>woah, this really got out of hand fast. It almost looks like I was bashing on my step dad, and it’s not at all. He does pay for like everything I need already. And it’s just that he has no idea how FASFA works because he has never filled it out. Anyways, thank you guys for clearling up what I have to have on my FASFA. As for the questions,
1)yes I applied to schools like University of Alabama, University of New Mexico, and Washington State University with guranteed merit scholarships.
2)My mother has a little bit of savings from tips she has earned over the years. So she can contribute a little every year.</p>
<p>^^^
I don’t think you were bashing your step-dad. In another thread you said that he’s a “cool guy”. I believe you. I just don’t think they have thought this all through. </p>
<p>My point was that because your mom is working as a waitress at his restaurant for free, he’s not having to pay her a salary. that’s all good and fine if he’s using the “family income” to pay for “family expenses” …which is what families do. </p>
<p>But…and this is a biggie…if he thinks that he can’t afford to pay her a few thousand per year for a salary, but then next year he gives his bio kids a few thousand for THEIR college costs (but none for you), then he is essentially giving THEM the money that your mom has earned…money that your mom could be giving for you.</p>
<p>It’s ridiculous to tell OP that his mother should demand a salary or that his stepfather isn’t handling things fairly. OP can’t get in the middle of this marriage and start telling the participants what they should or shouldn’t do. When you were 17 or 18, did any of you tell your parents how to run their financial relationship? The only worthwhile advice given here is the telling OP how to explain to his stepdad that his info is needed for FAFSA, but that this will not require him to contribute any funds toward OP’s education. Hopefully, that will do the trick. Good luck, OP.</p>
<p>When you were 17 or 18, did any of you tell your parents how to run their financial relationship? The</p>
<p>Actually, in my family my parents encouraged us to speak up if something was unfair. They’d listen to our side and if they agreed, they’d go with it.</p>
<p>Yes, I agree that the goal this minute is to get the Sdad to include his info on FAFSA. Not sure that the mom couldn’t just do it, but that’s another issue. But, that’s half the issue. Even with a full tuition scholarship, this student is going to need financial help from his family. A $5500 student loan isn’t going to cover room, board, books, personal expenses, AND travel to and from Alaska. I’m guessing that beyond a free tuition scholarship, this student is going to need at least $15k per year…at least $60k for the four years.</p>
<p>OP, Do your stepsiblings live with you? If they don’t, your stepdad may not realize that his info doesn’t go on his kids’ FAFSA. Explain that to him. He may have a legal (it could be part of his divorce decree) and/or moral obligation to help pay for their college, but FAFSA doesn’t count his income. I would be sure he understands that; it’s the other half of ‘uncoupling’ filling out the form with actually paying.</p>