“Keep burning those bridges. It’s gonna be lonely on that island of yours.”
“Don’t burn bridges you may have to cross later.”
“Don’t burn a bridge and expect them to send a boat.”
On the other hand:
“Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge.” - Don Henley
I heard one of my favorites as I sat in the audience at Stanford’s commencement in 2005 (my niece was graduating):
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary…Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.”
“I resemble that remark!”
“Life is one of the toughest!”
And in response to “How are you?” :
“I can’t complain any better.”
I always liked Dave Ramsey’s response: “Better than I deserve.”
My mom always says “No complaints and nobody to hear them”
“You might very well think that, but I couldn’t possibly comment” (House of Cards)
“Life doesn’t give you bumpers” (Boyhood)
“Don’t look at me with that tone of voice.”
“Dude…”
“You can be right or you can be happy. Pick one.”
Hypocrisy is the tribute vice pays to virtue.
“When in danger or in doubt
Run in circles, scream and shout.” Herman Wouk - The Caine Mutiny
“It works better if you plug it in.”
Or…
Have you tried unplugging it and leaving it unplugged?..
Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.
This, too, shall pass.
Know when to say when.
And The Golden Rule.
A man’s character is his destiny.
If it works, do it.
If it isn’t working, make a change.
A favorite from my years of working outdoors:
If you’ve never fallen in the woods, then you’ve never been in the woods.
“He who has the gold makes the rules?” 
Along the same lines, my father used to say, “He who puts the coins in the jukebox gets to pick the music.”
One from my dad–
If bull**** were music, you’d be a whole brass band!
It’s easier to apologize than to ask for permission (wise words from my old boss when I replaced him upon his retirement)
One specific to our 3 kids when they were young: If you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat it, but do not complain!!
What my husband and I say to each other to laugh our way out of an argument:
“I’m sorry your bitchiness made me angry”
One man’s meat is another man’s poison
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure