Fear of being homeless...

Student Lounge College Life
1

Hello. I’m a future undergrad student that will be going to a SUNY in about a week and a half. I am super excited to have an opportunity for a new life, away from everything that is my life in my current home, with my parents, and brothers.

Truth is, is that the home I’m living in is abusive. I won’t go into much detail, as many, many people don’t exactly go through what I go through here, and most would find my reasons to not go back home very petty, but that won’t change my decision. I truly do not want to go back home for the breaks, when the dorms close. I googled a bunch of experiences, ways to counteract my impending fate of becoming homeless and possibly going insane as there is barely any neighborhood between the campus and the next city, which is like a 3 hour drive. I had already asked like 2 of the advisers from my future school on pointers on what to do (although I didn’t give my name nor tell of the exact reason I don’t have a home to go back to). They have so far given me nothing. I am hoping by the time I go there, I will get some useful information on some degree on living conditions that I can accept, but once the dorms close, I am most certainly screwed.

To be honest, I can handle being homeless for about a week, which in my school, is Thanksgiving, and Spring Break. But Winter Break is more than a month, which could be dangerous as there is no where from the campus to the next town, as I stated before, without a vehicle I don’t have.

Does anyone have any pointers, advice, anything for someone in my position? And no, I currently do not have any friends I can couch surf with, nor any other family around. I am completely on my own. Forgive me for the wall of text, but I’m not going to let this become a problem because I want to make the most out of my education, and this can’t stop me from getting straight A’s, honors, etc. But if I have to become homeless, that’s what I’ll do, but if there’s anything, I’m willing to take it, just not going back home.

2

Let’s take this one step at a time.

First, congratulations on your acceptance! In 10 days you will be in your new school and your new life. Once there, concentrate on making the transition…give yourself time…then begin thinking about winter break…you will get ideas once you’re in school. For now, you have a good plan and you will find a way to make winter break work.

Here’s what the SUNY website says:

Can students stay in their rooms during vacations or breaks?
Students may prearrange for vacation occupancy by contacting Housing during the week prior to scheduled closing. Please note that there is an extra charge.

3

I think the first major step is to get a job so you’ll have some money saved up

4

My husband left an abusive situation at his home when he left for college and never went home. Some things he did between terms…during summers worked at a summer camp as a counselor, and did camp maintenance for pre and post camp to have a place to live between school terms and school terms. For breaks of any length, sublet rooms vacated by other students during breaks, lived in his church’s basement during one break, slept on friend’s floors, took a bus trip across country to fill one break, etc. He had a variety of part time jobs to fund these things, and food he survived on was not divine, but he made it.

5

Yes. Writing as someone who could not go home during college and with a husband who was in the same position: The most important thing is to learn to save money at every purchase choice. (Buy peanut butter and a loaf of bread with funds rather than a premade sandwich; learn to live with roommates; find furniture etc on the street dumpster diving or in Goodwill, etc. DIY website will give you tips on how to make those things gorgeous.) Like, husband would buy a can of tuna and would go into Fancy-private College dining hall and use their mayonnaise. That’s the kind if savings I’m talking about. Every penny should count. Be sure to keep a stash of emergency cash handy. Never spend as much as you earn. And try to not use your credit card, if you have one.

Kids who live off campus often have apts that they vacate during breaks. See if you can house sit for them. Professors go on sabbatical. See if you can house sit.

You can get transportation to and from campus by offering to drive people’s U-Hauls–people move in and out of campuses at the beginning and end of school years.

Use a bike instead of a car.

Earn extra money by setting up a small business from your dorm room: do bookkeeping; moving services; alter clothing; edit people’s papers; take on an extra campus job; update their computers, house painting;, house cleaning, doing laundry for other students, ironing, babysitting/ nannying for prof kids, etc.

You may watch your friends taking on unpaid internships while you need to take jobs that pay. Don’t worry. Your work-for-pay experience is also good. Things that pay well are waiting on tables esp. cocktail waitressing (if you’re female and over 21) and bar tending. Some summer jobs that come with housing are listed as internships with Student Conservation Association, but you would have to fund your travel somehow, unless you find a place close by. Volunteer.gov also has internships with housing. Or if you get a job in X city, network through your friends for a family to stay with. In some big cities, people go away for weeks at a time during the summer. You could piece together sequences of house-sitting or low-cost rent for a spare couch or room. For example one summer I helped someone set up their business during the days in Major City. That was a full-time job that paid me no wages but gave me a place to live. In the evenings, I worked full time as a cocktail waitress (drinking age was lower then). 16 hour days every day, no days off, but it got me where I needed to go and the money I needed to pay for my Junior Year study abroad. To pay my transportation to Major City, I drove a professor’s U-Haul from campus. I left school that year driving the U-Haul with $1.78 in my pocket and by the end of the summer earned enough to go abroad for my junior year. You just have to find a way. You can piece it together and do it.

6

I remember asking my teachers on advice about this, and even my guidance counselor at the time. There seems to be one thing they forgot to tell me once they “agreed” to my decision. Apparently, I still need contact with my mother because I still need her updates and signatures for my student loans. That’s kind of an issue, because I can’t initiate No Contact if I still need her for the FAFSA at the end of the year…4 more times. Is this information true by any chance?

And thanks so much for the support. I truly appreciate it and will use this advice as much as possible to my advantage. :smiley:

7

I always think of this like a Harry Potter situation…how can you minimize time at home but still keep the minimum amount of contact with parents for FAFSA, etc purposes.

Can you be invited to a friend’s house for Thanksgiving"? Work on a project with a professor over the summer? take an inter-session class? for Christmas

8

That’s the thing. My parents are narrow minded and if I don’t keep in contact, there is a very high chance they won’t help with FAFSA purposes as a way of “getting back at me” for not contacting them. They have done some similar things in the past and if I want to keep my education running, it seems like I have no choice and am forced home. I just made this thread assuming I wouldn’t need them anymore for school and now this has completely turned upside down.

9

Another idea is to get a job when you are at home…so you can be out of the house working as much as possible.

10

Yes, you need their help with FAFSA. I’d say you may need to go home for winter break, but see if you can get some retail hours or something to keep busy. See if you can work in admissions on campus in the summer, and try to get a role in summer orientation so you need to be on campus. Be cordial with your family, but super busy with productive activities, either things to make money or move your academics forward. Limit yourself to short periods at home. But you can’t cut the cord entirely and still afford school.