Fed up with uncompetitive high school enviornment

Pre-College Issues High School Life
41

@LeastComplicated

That’s not what I said at all. A highly ranked public high school is 2 miles away. The high school I go to is around 1.7. The difference is 0.3. They would both take around an hour to walk to because it’s an urban area. The district provides busing for the school I go to, but not for the other one. So here are the two realistic options:

  • Parents drive me to highly ranked School B
  • I take busing routes to impoverished School A (at no expense to my parents, see the connection here?)

I’m sure you can see how in an urban area, wealth inequality is more striking (relating to why there’s this divide to begin with)

42

@Nick3162 Honestly, given the preponderance of your posts and what you have specifically cited in post #34. My suggestion would be to bring your concerns (and I am not talking about just your academic concerns here) and feelings to an IRL trusted adult, be it your parents, relative, school counselor, friends’ parent, or teacher you feel a kinship too.

At this point in time, with the information you have provided thus far, I would not say it is prudent to graduate early. If you were my young adult I would be very hesitant to encourage it. But, clearly, neither I, or any of us here on CC , have all of the pertinent information to make a fully informed recommendation.

43

Or you could get a job this summer and use Uber next year. Be a go-getter.

44

This post was not very clear, so I can see why the confusion occurred.

45

I’m sorry you are frustrated by the situation at your school. I just wanted to point out that some of the issues you are seeing with AP classes/tests are definitely not limited just to you. Only 4 students took the AP chem test at my daughter’s school this year because no one felt prepared. New teacher, couldn’t answer questions, basically ended up being auto tutorial. We’ve been telling our daughter all year that despite this being sub-optimal (and she goes to a private school so that doesn’t make us thrilled with tuition we are paying), she’s learned a ton about finding other resources to find information, going to tutoring (not the teacher), and finding some grit that she didn’t think she had. There are always going to be bad teachers (even at the college level), peers who don’t collaborate well, situations that really stink, but finding ways to overcome them can provide valuable lessons.

I would agree with talking to a trusted adult to see if you could help your parents see how frustrated you are with your current school and see about transferring to the other high school nearby. As an aside, can you be bused to your current school and just walk the .3 mile to the other school if transportation is an issue?

46

In our area going to a non boundaried public school costs as much or more than going to the private schools. You say your parents can afford to do that. How do you know that? Do you have siblings? I assume they are planning to help you pay for college? Do you know what they have saved for retirement? Do you have any idea what their monthly income is compared to monthly expenses? In order to not pay out of boundary tuition they would have to pick up and move. Do you have any idea how costly it is to move?

There are so many financial issues that I’m sure you have no idea about. I told my kids we had X amount of dollars to help them with college. They seem to think we have that amount just sitting in a pot somewhere waiting for them. We do not. We work hard, sacrifice and juggle to be able to help with that amount of money.

I suggest you continue to try to stand out where you are. Work hard and accept your situation. If you stop looking at all of your perceived negatives you might just find a lot of positives. Positive attitudes can go far in making the best in not so ideal situations.

47

It doesn’t really matter what you think your parents can “afford.” Whether by their choice, or by circumstance, you are where you are. The best prospects for ANY college are the ones who make the best of the situation they are dealt, who look beyond the resources that are handed to them, and find other resources to accomplish their goals. You do come across as entitled - and I don’t just mean entitled to a “good education.” You seem to think you are entitled to tell your parents how to spend their money. You seems to think you’re entitled to judge other students on their post-secondary choices.

Don’t worry about how many others from your school go to top-50 schools. If you transfer to that “highly rated” high school, it’s not going to improve your chances anywhere. If anything it’s going to diminish your chances, because it’s not surprising to see someone from that school “do well.” At your current school you have the opportunity to shine! If you bothered to talk to other top students, you might find there’s a reason they chose the schools they did. Maybe they qualify for a full ride to a top college, but that’s not really the great offer you think it is, if their family is struggling financially. That full ride comes with transportation costs, a portion of the scholarships would be taxable, and the family may be relying on them to help financially. Community College may be the most sensible option for them.

And don’t make assumptions about what your parents can and cannot afford. Most of my oldest daughter’s classmates were shocked by what they were expected to pay toward their kids’ college costs. Maybe your parents are saving up to be able to afford your tuition - just because the financial aid formulas say they can afford something doesn’t mean they really can, without sacrifice. And ultimately, your parents don’t owe you anything.

Make the best of what you have, find some “sugar” to make lemonade out of your lemons. Colleges will be most impressed by what you do with the resources you have

48

OP, I feel for you. Many on CC push “fit” for college but when it comes to H.S. they have more of a “suck it up” or “stop complaining” attitude. I do agree with @bhs1978 and others to try to make the best of your situation, but I also feel that a challenging and positive high school experience are extremely important particularly for an adolescent. I agree with you about weighing other options. I can’t speak to graduating early, but it sounds like it might be worth exploring. Talk to others who have done it (maybe search for threads on it in this forum).

Explore transferring to another public. Some states allow you to transfer to a better school if your school has a low grade. If you are going to transfer I wouldn’t necessarily default to the second closest one. Look around for charters, or the best high school for you. Is car pooling an option? Will you be driving and have access to a car in the near future? Can you bike? Could you approach your parents about driving for you in the short-term (until you can drive or find a car pool) and maybe giving back to them in exchange (cooking, cleaning). I personally would never ask for this from my child, instead I advocated vigorously for school changes for my child, but your parents obviously have a different outlook on this. Is there a school where public transportation is an option?

Also, if you find a school you love, gather your transcript, a letter from a current teacher/outside person if possible, a resume or a list of your activities, test scores (all schools have test scores from middle school, don’t they?), and try to get an appointment with an Assistant Principal or the Principal or anyone who will meet with you. State your case. This has worked for us every time. We were told “no space” but when I sent the paperwork, followed up with a passionate plea, and/or they met our daughter, they suddenly found a space.

In terms of transferring, there are some things I can share with you (my junior daughter changed schools from a good private to an IB public in junior year, and also from a low performing public to the highest performing public in another school district in elementary school.)
–it will be harder to get leadership type positions when you come in as a junior (though my daughter did get one this term and for next year).
–In her case, outstanding teacher recommendations will not be an issue—she is in a small IB program though. Will this be the same for you in a large class?
–Check about curriculum requirements (probably not an issue for you if you stay in the same public school system), as this was an issue for her. For instance she couldn’t continue Latin which she loved as it wasn’t offered in her new school. She had to take HL Chemistry with no prior chemistry (this caused a lot of stress and tears for her because it was so hard at first but she has mostly caught up).
–Another drawback was rank: her private school only had unweighted grades and the public wouldn’t even agree to weigh “advanced” math classes that were for only a select few. All of her public school peers get weighted grades for 9th and 10th grades for Honors and AP so she will be in top 10% but would probably have been on of the top three students if she had attended this school for the first two years.
–Her workload is much heavier, more papers, presentations, no study halls, no handholding. There will still be some poor teachers no matter where you go. You may find a more competitive environment stressful, too! Hopefully less stressful than an unchallenging one.
–Individual college counseling is lacking (again these were differences for her with the private to public transfer)
–If prom is important to you, that could be an issue if you are quiet like my daughter and have a small social circle (only mentioning because there will be both big and little transitions, social as well as academic).

In the end though, the transfer was worth it, and we have no regrets. I hope you find a way to get in a better place for next year whether that means staying where you are, graduating early or transferring.

49

Do yourself a favor and quit complaining. College admissions decisions are based on grades and SAT/ACT scores. They could care less what high school you went to. If you get As at an easy high school, that’s better for you, isn’t it? Second, I think it would be wise to show more respect to your parents. You may not understand why they do certain things, and it might frustrate you now, but you need to learn to respect their decisions nonetheless. They are paying for your college after all, right? One day, when you’re ready, you’ll suck at being a parent too :slight_smile:

50

This is honestly sooooo petty. It blows my mind.

51

Well, someone certainly has a chip on their shoulder.

Believe it or not, I was like you once, disappointed that my parents didn’t recognize my obvious brilliance by not nurturing my intellect. They didn’t go to college, so they didn’t know what it was like to be smart, like me. And I lorded it over them.

Then they died when I was in my 20s. There was a lot left unsaid that I regret to this day. I realized they did the best they could with me and I turned out fine and (reasonably) well-adjusted.

Don’t make the same mistake. Whatever college you go to, be a superstar. It will be recognized at the next level and your parents will be proud of you. And maybe one day, you can thank them.

52

CU Boulder is a very good school, and self-studying can make for a good story. Moreover, there may be opportunities to show leadership and compassion in helping other students in your school, organizing ECs, etc., which will not only look good to colleges but provide more satisfaction in your own life. Your posts show self-centered and condescending attitude, and I’m saying this just to point out that it’s already earned you a lot of rebukes on CC, but more important, this can totally sink your application if this attitude comes through in your essays. Nothing wrong with changing schools or graduating early, but this might not solve the whole problem.

53

Other options:

  • If you are an athlete, run to school so that you get some training in with your commute while shortening the commute.
  • Ride a bicycle to school. Should take a lot less than an hour to either school.
  • Take the bus to school A, then walk from there to school B.
54

I feel like the OP is being bullied by the CC community here. Yes, some people are being helpful, and yes, OP said: " they’ve failed to put their ‘money where their mouth is’ so-to-speak and take actionable steps towards helping me in the process," which deserves a correction, but not this much. He may only be 15 years old. Do you live on the west coast, by chance? We have relatives in a PNW city and they love sharing photos on FB about how their kid is attending a school known for a lot of gang activity, could they be any cooler or edgier? Meanwhile they just purchased a home for more than $800K and aren’t known to be community-involved people unless there is a camera rolling. I thought OP was saying that he is not being challenged, doesn’t feel comfortable in his H.S. community and his parents are clueless to his needs. Or am I misreading this?

55

OP is in Colorado and is aiming for Colorado School of Mines or University of Colorado (see reply #12).

56

@bhs1978

Why are you presuming that you know more about my family’s financials than I do? We’ve had lengthy discussions about the cost affordability of college, and I can assure that the transportation costs are negligible. It’s also only 0.3 miles further from our house (and actually on my parents’ direct route to work). At this point in time, they would be willing to have me transfer high schools, but that’s not what the original post was focused on. As mentioned in the body of the thread, “seeing as how I’m in Junior year [I don’t think it’s best to switch high schools].”

The reasoning behind starting this thread was to have an open-ended discussion. If the solution were as simple as transferring to a new high school, I wouldn’t have taken the time draw out the discussion for everyone to participate in. I’m more looking to get a feel for what sort of other options I have, such as early graduation, online school, and community college. This pity back-and-fourth isn’t really going anywhere. What would be more helpful is to hear every ones’ personal experiences with non-traditional schooling options.

57

@CTScoutmom

Thank you for taking the time to detail out a lengthy post, but unfortunately, I don’t have the time to craft a full response to everything you said.

The jst’ of the confusion here I think is that I’m not really asking for my parents to pay any more or less money for my education. And in fact they’re willing to drive me to a new school, I’m just not sure that’s the solution in the end.

I have the mentality that my choice in high school is pretty much set-in-stone. I’m pretty actively involved in the technology and business programs here at my high school, and have built up close relationships with friends and teachers.

The impression that I got from your tone was that you seem to think I’m ungrateful for the only option available to my family, which isn’t quite the case. My parents really don’t have a problem sending me to a new high school at this point in time thankfully. For one, there wouldn’t be any substantial bump in cost (maybe $100 a year, plus a bit of a time commitment with driving).

My disappointment is coming more from the obligation that I feel to continue on in my current HS environment. I just wish that both my parents and I were better informed in 8th grade when we initially started the process. I can see how you might be wondering why I posted this to begin with. The original idea I guess was a mixture of (A) venting, (B) looking for advice on how to succeed in noncompetitive high school, and © checking to see if there are other non-traditional options out there. Sorry if I didn’t make my original intentions clear, but I’d say that’s more or less what I’m looking to get out of this post.

58

@coolguy40

The high school that you go to forms an integral part of who you are. I’m an adolescent, my only concern isn’t rigging as high grades and SAT/ACT scores as humanly possible. It’s also about finding an environment best suited to helping me discover who I really am.

If the answer were vanilla- colleges don’t care about the high school you go to- I wouldn’t feel the need to hold this conversation.

59

@Muad_dib

I think you’re kind of misunderstanding my situation. My parents and I are very close, and we have no problems with being open about our college options. In the original post I mentioned that they “embrace my trying to get into a good college,” and “praise me for doing well in my… environment.”

Starting the post, I think it was more about shedding some light on how to navigate this process by myself. The truth is that while my parents are good people and were well-intentioned sending me off to my high school, I just don’t think they were super up to date on what my goals were and what the high school was actually like. All of that’s fair enough, I don’t hold anything against them for it really.

So the idea that I hold some sort of grudge against my parents that’s wedging a rift in our relationship isn’t accurate. I do realize that I’m probably sending some mixed signals. It’s hard to get a complete feel for someone’s situations just based off of a few hundred word mantra. That’s why I don’t think it’s productive to talk about what your perception of my attitude is anymore. What would be more helpful is to hear everyones’ own experiences with confronting a similar, difficult situation. Thanks!

60

@ab2002

Yeah, I think some of it has to do with the way I come across when I write. If you knew me IRL, your perception would probably be pretty different. I’m an active user on r/A2C and it’s interestnig to contrast the community from the one on here. What I’ve learned a lot over the past few weeks is how toxic some of these chatrooms can be (within reason). There’s definitely good advice on here, but the pettiness is disappointing. I’m sure that truth cuts both ways (maybe to some of you guys I sound toxic). Let it be known in that case that I’m honestly not trying to be divisive.