Feedback for my UC Essay, please!?

<p>My AP English teacher loved it, problem is she seemed to think a lot of my friends' were good too. I think she's being way too easy so I need more feedback :( She preferred complete "showing/storytelling" as you can see if you read my essay.... a UC student hated it and told me to include more "This experience affected my dreams in that itaa==....", basically more first-person direct answering of the prompt. I don't know who to trust, they're both credible sources haha... can you guys please offer honest opinions? I can email you or get you my essay somehow if you can help, thank you! By the way, this is UC prompt # 1:</p>

<p>Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.</p>

<p>Thank you again!</p>

<p>I can help you with it if you read my essay for prompt 2 :)</p>

<p>I can take a quick look and give you my opinion. Since you have less than 15 posts, email me by highlighting my name and choose email.</p>