Feel like I've hit a dead end and I'm not sure how to explain this to my parents

Parent Cafe
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<p>I'm 19 years old, about to begin my fourth semester at community college. I've been extremely lackluster about college ever since my senior year of high school, which is mainly why I am where I am now. My sister, who is now a senior, is devoting a huge portion of her time to the college application process (unlike myself, she is likely going to attend a very good school, as will the rest of my siblings) which I totally omitted. </p>

<p>Up until a few weeks ago I treated community college as just another thing I had to do, not as the stepping stone I should have seen it as. As I head in to what should have indefinitely been my final semester at this school, I can say that I've put little thought into what I want to study in the near future, and even less thought into where; I have not visited a single school.</p>

<p>I'm currently enrolled under the engineering science program at my school but if I wanted to complete my associates degree I would be here another year. Completion of the program requires the completion of a two semester physics sequence which I haven't even began because I was late for registration this past semester. I brushed it off at the time but I'm now realizing the full implications of this grave mistake. Because it's a small school with a small science department, each course only runs once per year, thus I would have to wait until Fall 2014 to begin the sequence. I have no intentions of sticking around however; it would be quite depressing for myself and disappointing for my parents. </p>

<p>I've made it quite clear to my parents that I will be attending a four year university come Fall of this year but it seems as though I am running out of time to apply and I haven't even begun a search. All I know is that I have expressed a great interest in the field of science, particularly physics, though I seem more fond of the concepts than the application, and I really have no class room experience to base this inclination. Other interests include astronomy, geology, marine biology, and climatology. </p>

<p>I live in Maine and there are only a handful of schools in my area that offer such science programs. I've spent some time researching the University of Maine which is an affordable school with a reputable science and engineering department. My concern with this school is that my most recent math course, Calculus 2 does not transfer there, nor does Organic Chemistry. Those are two classes that I've put a lot of effort into and it's slightly disappointing that I would have wasted that time/money. </p>

<p>The University of Southern Maine is another that I've looked at, slightly less money than UMaine and all of my courses will transfer there. They offer a wide range of science degrees but the department is small and from what I've heard is being scaled down even further. Many of the courses are only offered once every year or two, which is a huge disadvantage. </p>

<p>The University of Maine seems like a good option for me but I feel so pressured right now because I've been so ignorant and clueless about this entire process. It doesn't seem like I have much time. If I must apply to the University of Maine now then I will have to send my current transcript which includes a failed class which has really weakened my GPA. I was planning on re-taking the class this upcoming semester but if I am forced to send out an application now then what good is it. By being in this situation I also feel extremely limited. I've spent the past two years living at home while my high school classmates have moved all across the country to attend school. UMaine is very reasonable but I haven't even considered the possibility of going someplace entirely different and now because of these time constraints I am under, those considerations seem irrelevant. From what I understand I must apply within the next week or so but this was just through word of mouth. Can anyone confirm these dates? I've always received sound advice from you folks in the past and would greatly appreciate any insight here. What are my options and how should I explain this to my parents? Thanks for reading, everyone!</p>

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<p>University of Maine which is an affordable school with a reputable science and engineering department. My concern with this school is that my most recent math course, Calculus 2 does not transfer there, nor does Organic Chemistry. T</p>

<p>Weird…why not.</p>

<p>Doesn’t your CC have some kind of articulation agreement?</p>

<p>What other schools are you considering?
what area of eng’g?
How much will your parents spend each year on college?</p>

<p>what is your GPA?</p>

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<p>

</p>

<p>You may not be ready for college.</p>

<p>Here is a sketch of another idea fwiw: Consider taking the next year as a sort of gap year. Here is what that year could look like:</p>

<p>–complete your associates degree in engineering science by taking those two classes
–retake the failed class (this spring, as you planned)
–begin to see a counselor who can help you figure out what has been holding you back and help you fix the problem
–do a proper college search
–begin to think systematically about what you might want to study in college
–find paid work or volunteer opportunities in fields that might interest you
–have a paying job</p>

<p>In other words, use the next year to figure yourself out and get on a good course.</p>

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<p>Do not rely on facts and dates from third parties or internet discussion boards. It should be obvious that you would want to go to the admissions website.</p>

<p>Is there a deadline for transfer admissions? No. Applications for the spring and fall semesters are considered on a rolling basis. We suggest that you apply well ahead of the first day of classes in order to experience a smooth transition to UMaine.</p>

<p>[The</a> University of Maine - Undergraduate Admissions - Transfer to UMaine](<a href=“http://go.umaine.edu/transfer-to-umaine/]The”>Transfer to UMaine - Undergraduate Admissions - University of Maine)
[The</a> University of Maine - Undergraduate Admissions - Frequently Asked Questions](<a href=“http://go.umaine.edu/transfer-to-umaine/frequently-asked-questions/]The”>Frequently Asked Questions - Undergraduate Admissions - University of Maine)</p>

<p>Regular decision for Freshmen is Feb 1, by the way.</p>

<p>You don’t have to enroll for fall. You can take a few months and apply for spring if you need to. The minimum requirement for gpa is 2.0. I wouldn’t let worry over a couple of non transferable classes interfere with plans to move ahead Really should not let that be something that paralyzes you.</p>

<p>Important: make an appointment with the adviser or transfer adviser at your school asap.</p>

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<p>There is no articulation agreement because the schools are not in the same state. I live in Maine but I travel 20 minutes to New Hampshire to attend this college. My local community college does not offer any math above pre-calculus, among other issues, so I decided to pay more and enroll out of state. The community college guarantees that all credits will transfer to all schools within the state of New Hampshire only. The University of New Hampshire is a school with a science department on par with the University of Maine’s, however, the tuition is 3-4x as much because I am not a resident of the state.</p>

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<p>Do you want to go to college this fall? I mean, there are other options.</p>

<p>You could work. Have you been interested in any of the career training programs at community college? They often offer a lot of help with choosing a job, preparing a resume and so on. </p>

<p>I have kids in Ivies and also in a community college certificate college and working. Everyone has a different path and to be honest, the one who isn’t doing 4 year college may be the happiest of my kids in a lot of ways. She is an independent thinker and has talents she chooses to develop outside of school.</p>

<p>It really sounds like you might want to take a break. There is no hurry to finishing college, and there are other ways to find your way, too. Have you considered talking with a counselor to clarify things for yourself?</p>

<p>Would your parents be okay with you doing something else for a bit, besides college?</p>

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<p>compmom, I wouldn’t mind being able to attend college this Fall. Despite living at home for the past year and a half, I feel like I’ve changed a lot since leaving high school, in a good way. But my life style has grown quite stale and while my naturally timid side prefers the stability and ease of my current being, another part of me would like to pack my bags and travel across the country to begin a fresh slate. Of course, I don’t expect the same “college experience” of the typical freshman. I only fear that my appetite for knowledge will dry up. The fields I’m interested in require a lot of passion and drive to be successful, like anything I suppose. There are days where I want to learn everything about the world, and other days where I just don’t care.</p>

<p>I guess I need to explore my options a bit more. My parents seem really keen on having me finally make the transition to a four year school. If I was to do something other than that, I better have a good plan laid out that I can present to them.</p>

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<p>Would your parents accept a gap year kind of plan? I know young people in your situation who have done anything from WOOF’ing [World</a> Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms - WWOOF](<a href=“http://www.wwoof.net/]World”>http://www.wwoof.net/) to National Outdoor Leadership School [NOLS[/url</a>] to City Year [url=&lt;a href=“http://www.cityyear.org/home-WhatWeDo.aspx]City”&gt;http://www.cityyear.org/home-WhatWeDo.aspx]City</a> Year: give a year. change the world.](<a href=“http://www.nols.edu/]NOLS[/url”>http://www.nols.edu/) to semesters at sea [Sea|mester</a> | Semester at sea study abroad programs](<a href=“Sea|mester | Spend your college semester at sea and sail the globe”>Sea|mester | Spend your college semester at sea and sail the globe). </p>

<p>There are also entire websites dedicated to gap year possibilities, but I realize some are expensive (we couldn’t afford them). If you google “gap year” a lot of info comes up. There are even gap year fairs [USA</a> Gap Year Fairs](<a href=“USA Gap Year Fairs | Go Overseas”>http://www.usagapyearfairs.org/).</p>

<p>It sounds like you might benefit from something that inspires you or even just from a break from school. </p>

<p>There are many ways to do school. The majority don’t go to 4 year residential college. Many attend state universities in their 20’s, 30’s and later, and there are all kinds of “adult leaner” programs. So as long as it can work financially, there is no hurry.</p>

<p>On the other hand, and every family and every individual student is different, I can also see the wisdom of doing what others have suggested, meaning finishing those math classes and retaking the failed class and getting on track now. Your parents may prefer that. Do you? If you don’t, can you talk to them about alternatives?</p>

<p>Again, I know many young people resist this, but talking with a counselor can be really helpful, and it only has to be a few appointments. But I understand if you don’t want to do that. I think a lot of us are familiar with the problem of feeling inspired one week and not so much the next, and sometimes talking it out with a neutral person has helped.</p>

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<p>Re: transfer credit. Are you sure that UMaine won’t accept the credits or are the courses just not on their “automatically accepted list.” There are usually appeal procedures or test out procedures in place to allow transfer students to get maximum credit for courses already taken.</p>

<p>It serves nobody for you to retake a course that you have already mastered. Generally, if a school for a class that is required for your major it is because the information covered isn’t that same.</p>

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<p>I may have missed it but are your parents going to be paying for the upcoming University?</p>

<p>Maybe I am cranky this morning, but having a “stale” home life isn’t enough to justify going. You don’t seem to WANT it yet. Your sibs do, and you wish you did, but you DON’T. I worry that you won’t perform well or you’ll end up in a place you didn’t really want because you had to rush, etc.</p>

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<p>Dreadpirit, you make a good point. The Maine college system has an online transfer equivalency sheet for many local schools, including my CC. Nowhere on there does it say that Calc 2 and Organic Chem are not accepted, they simply aren’t on the list. It would definitely be something worth investigating. UMaine is a quality school and they offer an engineering physics undergrad program which is quite appealing but I’m still looking for schools that offer more exotic programs, such as geophysics. The obvious benefit here is that I would pay in-state tuition, on the order of 11 grand a year; not bad at all. I’m almost paying that to attend community college! </p>

<p>Tempemom, my parents would be paying for the upcoming University. Part of my reluctance to go to college is that is so damn expensive and hate to place that burden upon my father, who is the sole provider in my household. My mother is stay at home and I must say we live quite lavishly for a family of six, considering my father is a self-employed carpenter. I have three younger siblings that will most likely be attending college, but they are each at the top of their class and I believe the oldest has already earned scholarships. Still, I can’t help but wonder how my father will manage if I decide to go out of state. He never likes to talk about his financial status. I have worked part-time for the past several years, and I’ve probably paid for two thirds of my way through CC.</p>

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<p>Usually if the course to be transferred is a C or higher grade, college-level, and from an accredited school, it’ll transfer into the new school. Check with the targeted school.</p>

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<p>Eric it is really admirable that you are concerned about the finances. As a parent I thank you. The mind boggles that anyone could put 4 kids through college and have any retirement savings (will he get a union pension?). </p>

<p>Can you talk to them about this?</p>

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<p>Thanks, TempeMom. When it came time for seniors to begin applying to college I tried to hide from all of it. I was facing a mild bout of depression laced with social anxiety at the time and the thought of a college atmosphere scared me to death. I used the overwhelming price of college to justify my actions and augment my fears. I’ve never talked to my parents about their funds, it seems to be an awkward conversation piece in my family. I really have no idea how we are so well-off. As I mentioned my mother spends her time taking care of us and my father is self-employed, not even a member of a union. If he had an office job I wouldn’t feel quite as bad, but he works hard for his money, it’s back-breaking work what he does just so we can live comfortably. My sister is applying to college right now and I suspect she will receive some very lofty scholarships (she’s top 15 in her class; high GPA, but SAT isn’t amazing), but it won’t cover all of it. My younger sister will likely do even better and my brother who is only a freshman, is beginning a path similar to me, although he is much smarter than I was. </p>

<p>I’ve been doing a lot of research these past few days regarding what I would like to major in and where I would like to study. A lot of depressing self-reflection has come with it. It boggles my mind how ignorant I’ve been this whole time. I’m only just now doing the things most people I went to high school with began two years, and for many, even earlier. They say being the oldest sibling is the hardest in many aspects; I must laugh a little, and agree. I can’t help but think that part of the motivation for my sisters and brother to perform very well in high school is to avoid my own mistakes. When I was a freshman and sophomore my dad used to chase me around the house to get me to do my homework. He would always explain the importance of everything in school, the opportunities it would lead to later on, and how it would help me not become a carpenter. I understood what he was saying but I never quite took his words to heart; he was so right. </p>

<p>People would tell how doing well in high school would result in scholarships and a larger selection of schools to choose from, but I didn’t find any of that important. I spent most of my high school career hoping to become a kiwi farmer in New Zealand. It wasn’t until my senior year that I thought maybe I would study marine biology, but that dream was short lived. </p>

<p>I’ve been sitting here searching for schools that offer undergraduate degrees in Geophysics, quite upset with myself. I feel like I was the experiment of the family. I had the potential to accomplish so much more in high school and now I’m limited to a handful of schools. I’m envious of the people who have the opportunity to study at these ivy league schools with incredible science departments. I made some poor choices and now I’m restricted but it’s no use sitting on the past for too long when it can’t be changed. The University of Maine is the only school in my state with a science program and they don’t offer what I’m looking for. The only schools I have a chance at being accepted at that offer such programs are 4-5x the tuition of an in-state school. Now I have to decide if I must cater my choice of major to an affordable school.</p>

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<p>UMaine has a major in earth science. </p>

<p>So I put into the Collegeboard.org search function</p>

<p>4 yr college
Geophysics major
Tuition < 20K. </p>

<p>There were 10 results</p>

<p>Boise State University, Boise, ID
Bowling Green State University, Bowling Green, OH
California State University: Northridge, Northridge, CA
New Mexico Institute of Mining and Technology, Socorro, NM
SUNY College at Fredonia, Fredonia, NY
SUNY College at Geneseo, Geneseo, NY
University of Akron, Akron, OH
University of Minnesota: Twin Cities, Minneapolis,MN
University of Texas at El Paso, El Paso, TX
Western Washington University, Bellingham, WA</p>

<p>If you have a decent GPA you can probably transfer to one of these and study what you want for a tuition more like 2x, total cost over UMaine more like 1.5x</p>

<p>Some of these schools like New Mexico Institute, University of Minnesota and SUNY Geneseo are quite competitive for freshman. Probably less so for transfers but still pretty competitive. Why not call and talk to somebody and get an honest read about whether you are competitive. </p>

<p>University of Minnesota has a top department in Geophysics according to the National Research Council (NRC)</p>

<p>The others seem seem less competitive.</p>

<p>Many Canadian schools are in the same price range. For example tuition at University of Alberta (think geophysics=oil industry) is less than $20K.</p>

<p>If you want to grow up and become the responsible adult that you want to be with no excuses and no regrets you can. Just do it.</p>

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<p>Rereading you original post, it seems that you have to repeat that failed class to get it off your GPA. Does retaking it replace it in your GPA. If so, just retake it. Fill out your transfer application when your transcript is most favorable. </p>

<p>Most schools have late transfer deadlines. For example, at the University of Minnesota Twin Cities, the final transfer deadline isn’t until June 2, which is probably after your current semester ends. </p>

<p>One reason that transfer admissions deadlines are later is because every school loses some students to transfers too, so they don’t really know their openings until pretty late, whereas freshman are always starting at the same time. </p>

<p>Also, they have a May and Summer session which you may be able to use to make up any missing credits. You don’t to be a University of Minnesota student to take those classes. </p>

<p>Finally, except for paying, your parents disappointment or feelings toward the situation should be irrelevant. Grow up. It’s your life. You seem to have some fine ambitions. These ambitions need to be your motivation. Nobody else can supply you with motivations. What anybody else thinks is irrelevant. If you want to be somebody or something, you have to sustain that desire and focus. For yourself, for nobody else. You’re worth it, and you can do it.</p>

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<p>Thank you so much, ClassicRockerDad. Great advice. If I retake the class then yes, it will replace it in my GPA. It will just remain on my transcript. I plan to take the class again this semester.</p>

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<p>What’s the appeal of geophysics, and are you sure you can’t cover that ground in-state (even if the major or classes use different terminology- once you’ve learned something, nobody can take it away from you.)</p>

<p>I know kids get all tangled in nomenclature- got to go to a college where I can major in Biostatistics, even though a Major in applied math with a few genetics classes does the same thing. Got to major in Latin American Studies, even though a Major in Spanish with a minor in history covers the same ground. Etc.</p>

<p>What is it you think geophysics will do, and can you cobble together the identical major from the classes offered at your local U?</p>

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<p>Just a sample entry level job if you could stand living in Hawaii
[Environmental</a> Engineer or Geolgist Job In Honolulu, HI at Arcadis U.S. Inc, 565625416 | Americasjobexchange.com](<a href=“http://www.americasjobexchange.com/job-detail/job-opening-AJE-565625416?source=sh]Environmental”>http://www.americasjobexchange.com/job-detail/job-opening-AJE-565625416?source=sh)</p>

<p>Probably a better description of an entry level (Master’s degree) Geophysics job
[Quantitative</a> Geoscientists (Entry Level and Experienced), Employment | AWMA](<a href=“Air & Waste Management Association (AWMA), A&WMA Career Center|Find Your Career Here”>Air & Waste Management Association (AWMA), A&WMA Career Center|Find Your Career Here)</p>

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<p>Blossom, you raise a good point; I will have to compare the curriculum of a geophysics program to that of a geoscience program. As for why I chose this major, there is a good job market, provided commodities are doing well. Physics and the study of space are my true passions but after thinking long and hard about it, I’m just not willing to dedicate that much time to school, for a field with questionable marketability. Astrobiology is my study of choice but there are no schools that offer undergrad programs, and the demand is practically non existent. As much as I enjoy physics I can’t imagine myself being a professor, and I know that most physics majors end up with jobs beyond physics. I think I would rather use school to attain a marketable degree and self-study the other stuff I enjoy. Geology has always been of interest to me anyways.</p>