Feeling like an underachieving brat

Applying to College
41

Just my 2 cents. Being the Val or Sal is a nice honor, but you’re right, it’s often the kids who work the system to their advantage to end up there. Is that title important to you? Because if so, then you can make those same choices and maybe be the Val too. But, if what you’re learning is more important than that honor, then continue on the path you’re on and be proud of your decision. My daughter made a decision early on in high school that she was not going to get wrapped up on the race to be the Val. Would she have liked the distinction? Yes. But not enough to choose all her classes in order to reach that goal. She graduated ranked high, but not the highest in her class, and took the classes that she felt would best help her reach her goals. That’s not to say there is anything wrong with those who find that distinction important. It’s just not something that is important to everyone.

As for others getting recognition that you wish you were getting: Welcome to life. It happens all the time. But you should strive to do well because YOU want to do well. Not because you want a pat on the back for it. I know it’s frustrating, but those who matter will notice your accomplishments, even if they don’t say anything about it. My daughter was also overlooked when the “loud” kids instead got all the attention. We used to joke about it at home. But you know what? She is now a freshman at a college she loves and no longer cares about what some random teacher or high school classmate did or did not say to her.

My advice to you is to spend some time thinking about where you want to go in life and focus your energies on achieving those goals. Is college a goal? Are there particular schools you want to go to? If so, focus on the classes, grades, and activities that will help you build a good application and ignore all the rest. You can represent your country well by becoming a success in the future. I would not worry so much about high school.

And finally, remember you are dealing with a different school system. To be successful in the US you are going to have to figure out how to be successful in our system. Trying to match what is happening at home seems futile.

42

Asian-American students are often underappreciated in the U.S. schools because of many stereotypes, they’re just expected to do well and people don’t think they have as many hurdles on their way as other minorities. This sometimes sucks but doing well and being underappreciated is better than not doing well. Live your own life and set your own goals. Also, one of the best ways to gain appreciation and respect is to help others who are struggling.

43

Being Val or Sal won’t matter as it won’t be known until after admissions results are out. I hope your essays don’t sound like your posts here do, bitter and petty. Don’t worry about others, just live your own life. Trust me, 5 years from now you will look back at this thread and wonder who wrote these posts.

44

@twoinanddone I am a green card holder so far. I don’t think I will fall into the international pool. If I can’t afford college I will find some way to pay for it (I’m thinking of getting the CompTIA A+ certification to work as a computer technician part time to help myself/my family financially.)

45

@PrdMomto1 thanks for your reply!

I didn’t even know that US highschools had class ranks until 6months ago so being the Val/sal wasn’t really my goal. The thing is there are some American born Bangladeshi kids who move their way up by taking easy weighted classes. I just wanted to prove myself to them that what they’re doing can be done better by someone who’s new to their area and still doing better than them. I guess that was an evil plan. I won’t focus on this anymore. I have changed my goals now, I will build strong relationships with my teachers and peers instead of abusing the system to move to the top. Thanks a lot for helping!

46

@MaineLonghorn sorry for that! I got a little too engaged.

47

You’re from a low income family, so your biggest hurdle in college admissions will be financing it. Have you taken the SAT or ACT yet? Your scores will matter for merit aid. Are you near any community colleges? They can be a great place to start if you don’t get accepted to affordable 4 year options.

Nevermind what other students are doing. Run your own race. If your parents are low income you may be eligible for a $6k/year federal Pell Grant. I think you can take the ~$5500/year federal student loan too. But that won’t get you far. You need great test scores to be eligible for merit aid.

48

You be you. That’s it. You’ll do fine. High school isn’t as important in your overall life as it feels right now. If you have great grades and test scores and follow your actual interests, you may be able to go to one of the colleges that actually meet financial need (and absolutely look into Questbridge). We all want to feel appreciated (ask your mom if she feels appreciated LOL), but please try to get over that and get on with the job of being yourself as well as you can.

49

@austinmshauri I can manage to get a 1450ish SAT (750ish Math and 700ish English). My grades, essays, extracurriculars, and classes should be good enough. I believe many schools offer 100% free tuition for students with good academics from low-income backgrounds. I hope that most instate schools (Purdue specifically) would be cheap since I meet their requirements and am a state resident. If I can get aid for out of state, I will definitely go to a better college. (I don’t know if need-based aids are as good as they sound; if they are not, I might be able to win a merit scholarship if I’m lucky and not being optimistic)

Thanks for your response!

50

@twinsmama thanks for the inspiration! I’ll try to be a teenager as much as I can and do good lol (always stayed at home studying instead of making friends and talking to people)
Also, I will look into Questbridge thanks for the recommendation!

51

I don’t believe this is true at all. Even if you get a full tuition grant you’ll still have to pay room and board. That can cost $12-15k/year. Have you taken any practice SATs yet?

52

I have taken practice SATs. My math scores are good and I can even get a perfect math score with enough practice. My English scores, however, are complete bs. I need to improve my time management because I’m not used to reading old passages fast. I might take the TOEFL and pair it up with my SAT, and SAT subject tests (Math, Physics).

Edit: My sister went to our state college with full free tuition. She came to the US junior year and didn’t even have the chance to do good academically. I think need blind scholarships are real to some extent.

53

First off, your grades are GREAT! Here’s some advice for finding a college. Being low income, you’ll need to aggressively look for scholarships. You won’t find many merit scholarships at prestigious universities, because it’s impossible to stand out. You will find them at state universities, especially in places that are less populated. You need to score high on your SAT or ACT. University of Arizona and University of Alabama are two that I know of. There’s Auburn, University of Mississippi, Miss State, University of KY, Texas State University, and UTSA. For every university you apply to, apply for a scholarship they offer.

Also, being low income can put you in an advantage at private schools as well. The best need-based scholarships are for low income students. Run the Net price calculator at SMU and TCU, and Baylor.

54

My friend, I think we have some things in common, but I will tell you that being foul, putting down other students, and complaining about the system you were born in, won’t help you at all.

I’m currently taking a gap year as I’ve just got my U.S. Permanent Residency after being DACA for essentially all my educational life - even as I was applying to college.

Being an international student is the most difficult thing because the fact is that there are plenty of domestic students who are just as talented.

What distinguishes the U.S. system of higher education from others is that they will not simply admit or not admit a student based on their standardized testing score, the classes they’ve taken, or how high their GPA is.

Don’t worry about other people. At my school and community, there are many rich and wealthy students whose parents have many connections - and they, of course, have an advantage in this system. That being said, wasting your sweat and energy talking about how disadvantaged you are is pointless.

You have good numbers and are from a low-income family. I HIGHLY recommend you apply through Questbridge instead of getting yourself pinned to the corner and forced to apply to highly selective universities that offer the money you need to attend.

Questbridge is a godsend - and yes, they take international students, and yes, it is a competitive pool nonetheless.

However, what makes QB fabulous is its attention to the story, your mission, and your circumstances. The Common App doesn’t do that nor do the admissions officers at many schools in my perspective; Questbridge highlights you, flags you, and does everything it can do get the colleges’ attention and say:

“Look at this bright student who needs your support and aid to achieve. They’ve already proved themselves in high school and throughout their life, so consider them!”

Do not focus on college, but focus on your end goal. For me, this is becoming a physician. My wise counselor told me that a particular school doesn’t matter, but just a particular tier - and the majority of U.S. universities, public or private, T10 or T50, will provide you the resources and opportunities for your success.

For now, focus on school, take your tests, and discuss with your family and college counselor about your goals, plans, and ways to make everything fit together.

P.S.

There is one final disclaimer I’d like to tell you based on my experience: Being a poor, yet high achieving student will not benefit you as much as you think it will if you’re an international - in fact, it may be a disadvantage. Being DACA, undocumented, or an international is not a hook. The opposite is true if you’re a domestic student, however. And to be clear, this isn’t to put down any domestic students because this IS a U.S. education system, not an international education system. And at the end of the day, U.S. education is a business.

So I wish you the best of luck.

55

In October of Junior year no one knows who the valedictorian will be.

56

@knightjonesfield Read what @HKimPOSSIBLE wrote at least twice. Kim is not only a very intelligent young man, he is also wise beyond his years.

57

OP, you do realize that even public schools us holistic admissions? That means they care a lot about the person behind the grades and test scores. They care a LOT about teacher recommendations and essays, which give them insight into your personality.

I will be blunt. You need to adjust your attitude, or you may find that you have no affordable choices for college.

58

@HKimPOSSIBLE thanks for the reply! I didn’t realize I was being super dense and bitter until you, @MWolf, and @Lindagaf helped me find it. Tom Stagliano (famous MIT guy on Quora) also told me to fix my attitude but I didn’t pay attention to it. I will definitely work on that, look into questbridge, and try my best to work with artificial intelligence in the future!
I’m sorry if I was rude/harsh to anyone, I really didn’t mean do it intentionally.