I go to a pretty small liberal arts college. Everyone knows each other, and everyone’s trying to stand out. It’s kinda like HS where your extracurriculars define you.
There was this one leadership position that I really wanted, got an interview for, bombed, and got rejected from. Mentally, I understand why I was rejected but I can’t stop feeling bad about it.
I do a lot of things on campus, but I felt like this position would really help define me. Now I’m overcompensating by applying to a whole bunch of other leadership positions. How can I get over this rejection? Even though I know I’ve succeeded in other areas, I feel as if this defines me.
Develop the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things that you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Volunteering in a local soup kitchen or doing some other community service might ultimately prove to be more fulfilling than competing for campus leadership positions.
Lincoln lost more elections than he won. He wasn’t defined by the elections he lost.
You are an adult, and you get to define yourself. Moreover, you are defined by what you do, NOT by the positions you hold. Do you care about the organization? Are you part of the organization because of their mission? If not, why did you try out for leadership? If so, than it really doesn’t matter if you are a leader.
If you care about the mission of the organization that pledge to yourself to do you very best to help the present leader succeed. Be that person who has no formal position, but who everybody trusts and to whom everybody comes for advice.
Nobody will care in your job after graduating or in grad school whether you held a leadership positions. Honestly. That particular requirement is just for undergraduate admissions, and only in 10% or so of colleges which have “holistic” admissions.
Agree with @MWolf , if you’re identified with your ECs then invest in your EC. Jumping to another parade just to be seen marching in front may not be what you want others to see. Take a deep breath, define yourself in the mirror and then go be that person. Don’t settle for titles, but become the most active member of your club that everyone knows as the strong back and busy hands rather than just the face.
Here’s something I wish someone had told me when I was in college: literally nobody in the world will care what you did or didn’t do while you’re in college. Not at all. Some things are resume builders, but even so, a lot of jobs just want to see that you have a degree. They don’t care what classes you took, what grades you have, or what leadership positions you had. I agree with the person who suggested volunteering. That would be a much more meaningful use of your time AND something you could add to your resume.
Are you more worried about the leadership title? Or are you worried about the goal of the organization and have good ideas on how to make it better?
When I was a senior in HS, I was a 4 yr Varsity soccer goalie. The coach picked captains, and it wasn’t me. I was mildly disappointed. In College, they started a Women’s varsity soccer team (this was way back). I helped recruit players, I showed players kicking techniques. Not because I was trying to get anything out of it for myself, but because I wanted our team to succeed. I was named Captain. Then I was ready…I was showing leadership.
Go away for a semester.
Study at another college (your college may have partnerships throughout the country, there’s NSE also…), in another place (there are semester programs in Woods Hole, in DC, in Chicago,) or abroad whenever that’s possible (look at the coronavirus response plan - my bet is that Ireland, South Korea or Norway are going to do better than Italy, Spain, or Russia.)
When you come back, bring with you what you learned while away and define yourself through these skills.