Feeling sad, just a stupid rant :)

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>This is going to be a whiny rant of stupid, just to warn you.</p>

<p>So I just started college like... two weeks ago? I think? Anyway, I really like it, and my roommate and her friends are pretty nice, but they're really different from me. They're like... boy crazy, and most of the time I just don't care (especially since a lot of girls flip out about guys that they barely know.)
Anyway... This last year my best friend decided that she didn't want to be friends with me any more, and my other close friend lives far away. I really have one close friend that lived close to me, like twenty minutes away. I have other friends too but most of them I don't get to see very often, so the close friend that lives near me was like my sole friend.</p>

<p>Now that I'm in college, I'm obviously not near her. And I haven't made any new friends here. Basically, I feel like I have one friend. And ever since my best friend left me I've been feeling... vulnerable I guess? I get really scared that my friends will leave, I suppose. Which is stupid, I'm trying not to be like that.</p>

<p>Sorry this sounds so whiny/cliche, gahhh. I'm usually not like this, honestly.</p>

<p>Anyway, I was talking with my friend today, and my roommate and her friends went into the bedroom and started talking. Sometimes what they say is interesting, so I thought "Oh, I'll take a break from working on English and go listen." So I left for a bit, then remembered that I hadn't told my friend I was leaving, so I went back and said "brb for a sec."
I was gone for twenty minutes, I lost track of time. By the time I realized this I thought "Oh I'll bring my computer in the room and talk to her." She was offline so I texted her that I was on and saw that she said she wasn't going to talk to me tonight any more.
Understandably, she was really ****ed off, and I felt bad and apologized and it's fine now. Sometimes though she says she'll be back soon and is gone for a while (I'm writing anyway so I guess it's not a big deal to me, haha.) but whatever, I'm easy-going.
So it's fine and everything.</p>

<p>Anyway, I just feel like crying, I guess I was scared she was going to say she hated me. And I feel really alone in college I guess, even though I like being alone? Weird, maybe I'm hormonal.</p>

<p>Sorry about the stupid rant, my life isn't usually "And then I texted her and she was like 'Omggg.'"
Meh idk, I just feel sad haha.</p>

2

<p>Hey, I understand this and I just wanna say don’t be sad. I am also 2 weeks in and I don’t know anyone in this state at all. I went to an international school, so all my friends split to various countries after high school, and my family is still back there, a 20 hour plane trip away.</p>

<p>Be thankful your roommate is cool. Be glad she’s not smoking up in your room or bringing in strange men or hogging the room all the time. It’s great that you guys get along.</p>

<p>I can kind of sense a little panic over the amount of friends you have right now, and things will definitely get better with time. Friends who went to college before me really only had great friends that they knew well by 2nd semester, so don’t pressure yourself or feel like there’s something wrong with you. Lots of us freshman feel alone right now. I, with my situation, am VERY much alone. I’ll see my parents over breaks but seeing any high school friends is unlikely. This is just a new chapter of our lives and it takes time to build a life like your high school one, to find new best friends and “family” and to establish a lifestyle.</p>

3

<p>Nobody should be that touchy over a “brb” that turns into a departure… that happens all the time.</p>

4

<p>Seems like you have some clingy friendships. My advice: Make friends besides your roommate through classrooms and clubs.</p>

5

<p>Some people like to be alone, but no one wants to be lonely. It’s totally understandable.</p>

<p>And long-distance friendships are really hard, since even though you can talk to each other, you’re still in completely different environments with different things vying for your attention. I go through this all the time with my best friend. You should have a talk with her and discuss the fact that you won’t be available all the time and stuff may pull both of you away in the middle of a conversation, but you still want to be friends. </p>

<p>Be sure to also make friends in your school. It’ll help dispel the loneliness that you’re feeling.</p>

6

<p>You know, I am 45, and I am going to tell you about friendships: they change as you get older. The types of people you befriend also changes. When you were little, your friends were first determined by your parents and the people they liked. Then you went to school, and those friends were due to being in the same school. In college, you will have time to meet tons of people, and sort of have to work to cultivate meaningful friendships versus lot of acquaintances. To find those meaningful friendships, you have to use wise judgement, get to slowly know people, figure out who is trustworthy, etc. You may make one or two really close friends that you will stay in touch with long after college. That’s enough if those people are true friends. Then, you will move off to work somewhere…it gets even tougher to really find friends, because you have to be careful of the work/friend thing. Then, maybe you get in a relationship, and meet all the partners friends, so your world expands again. Then, as a parent, your friends become the parents of kids your kid goes to school with, and things constantly change if you move for jobs, etc.! Think of this time as the beginning of your “adult friendship stage”. Take it slow, be friendly, meet lots of people, and connections will develop with others who you just really “click” with for whatever reasons.
My D’s freshman year of college, she had a boyfriend, and a few friends that were girls, but no one seemed really to be a “bff” type of friend. Over the summer, she stayed in touch with a few people, and now, the beginning of sophomore year, there were definitely girls who were really glad to reconnect with her, and she with them, and they seem to be forging much stronger friendships. (She still has the boyfriend too, but is balancing time between him and female friends.) So, give it time, it will work out! </p>

<p>Sorry this was so long!</p>

7

I completely forgot I posted on here! (even though it’s been years I feel bad not saying thanks, haha.)
Thanks everyone. The friendship with my friend from home has gotten way better, she’s less touchy. My roommate ended up being awful :confused: but oh well.