<p>My daughter's a junior, extremely independent and already talking about not letting us read her essays because she thinks we'll try to 'change' them. She's pretty smart and knows someone needs to review for grammar as well as readability etc. She told me she's thinking about writing about HOW she's done everything on her own without any assistance from parents, tutors, coaches etc. Makes me a little nervous.</p>
<p>Thoughts?</p>
<p>If you read her essays, what would you do then?</p>
<p>My username is no longer valid … two kids have gone through the selection process … and I did not see either one’s essay before they were submitted. Personally I think as long as they have someone to proofread they will likely be OK. One of my kids wrote a pretty non-traditional essay and my thougts about it are … 1) the schools will definately know the essay was written the student (and not ghost written by a parent, friend, or consultant) … 2) the student is giving the school insight into their inner self … 3) that if any school does not like the content that some self-selection will occur and my kid will not have to worry about a school that would be a bad fit for them. So for your daughter if a school was put off by such an essay would that school be a good fit for her? While there are lots of schools that I would think would respond well to the essay assuming it is written well (Smith, Barnard, Reed, etc)</p>
<p>I see where 3togo is coming from, but I think whether the topic succeeds will depend on the tone with which your daughter approaches it. I wasn’t sure if she wants to write about how she did the whole “college prep thing” without assistance, or if she wants to write about how she basically does everything without assistance. While both topics might display an admirable sense of independence and self-confidence, they could also convey a certain contempt for authority, a lack of willingness to learn from people with more experience, and an irrational belief that you really can do everything yourself.</p>
<p>Maybe you could negotiate a compromise - you (or the guidance counselor, or a trusted teacher) can read them and make suggestions, but ultimately the product will be the one your daughter wants to put out. Make it clear that you are a sounding board and a check for clarity, not a dictatorial ghost writer. Good luck!</p>
<p>Your daughter’s essay topic based off of what you have described it as is a little generic and unless she focuses on a specific, significant experience it will not stand out as unique. You can always tell her your opinion, and while she may not respond, as least she is thinking about it.</p>
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<p>I personally think that’s a stupid and arrogant topic, and even something NOT to be proud of. Mentors and Coaches are crucial for someone to reach their full potential. Since your daughter doesn’t seem to want or care for the wisdom and advice of others than I would question why she would want to go to school at all; since that is what school is all about. Even if she has done well on her own she should wonder how much more she could accomplish with a mentor.</p>
<p>My 2 cents… take it or leave it</p>
<p>I tend to agree with Got2BeGreen regarding the topic. My fiercely independent “I’d rather do it myself” daughter wrote one of her essays on how she used to think she had to do everything herself, but how she has learned to value and seek the input of others. I think she used examples from school projects and sports team experiences- can’t remember as this was years ago. The tone is very important, as you want her to appear mature and cooperative rather than someone who thinks they have all the answers. </p>
<p>I’d probably suggest (insist?) that she get someone who knows her well read the essay- it doesn’t have to be you- for clarity and tone. You don’t want her to come off as arrogant.</p>
<p>Just saw above post. That’s a bit harsh, Japher, but maybe the point is a good one to consider.</p>
<p>Ok… more arrogant than stupid. Perhaps naive would have been a better word.</p>
<p>I don’t think writing on the topic you mentioned would be a good choice for your daughter. Perhaps I’m misreading what you said but judging from your description of her, she seems fiercely independent. Like a previous poster said, the combination of her personality and topic choice leads me to think that she would come off as arrogant to the admissions committee. As such, it’d probably be in her best interest to reconsider her topic selection.</p>
<p>I was that kid who wouldn’t let my parents read my essays. Caveat: I did have my mother read my first application, and I did appreciate her insight, but I found taking her impressions of the essay was more useful than taking her actual advice: elaborate on this, change this, make x more strong…</p>
<p>Further caveat: I am an excellent writer, syntactically and creatively (this is not just ego), and English is a third or fourth language for my parents, so we’ve gotten into the habit where they ask me for clarifications on grammar/vocabulary.</p>
<p>If she’s a good writer and confident about it (as I was), then one worry she might have is that you’ll read it and end up nitpicking her style or the decisions she’s made on how to relate her ideas. But I definitely feel discussing the topics she wants to do is a good idea, at least so you can offer your perspective on how they might come across to others and how to approach them. My parents also see different facets of me that my teachers and peers haven’t been able to observe.</p>
<p>Colleges value independence, but as others have observed it’s really easy for this topic to alienate admissions officers. And if not—there are still other things she can probably write about! Every teenager believes herself autonomous.</p>
<p>What you could do is try to talk to her and have a freewheeling discussion on what makes her exceptional, what qualities the colleges she likes seem to want the most (check out their mission statement, how they describe themselves online and in informational brochures, what the colleges say makes them unique). I feel it’s really easy as an applicant to myopically focus on one thing (here, independence; for me it was intellectual passion) and not realize there are many, many other strengths you could play to.</p>
<p>WHY should she or anyone pay an essay service? It was not even a topic of discussion in our household. Our kids did their own essays and may have had some friends and/or faculty look at it or not. It was their responsibility & they handled it just fine.</p>
<p>I wrote a book on writing essays (and would welcome people using the advice in the book), but I would NEVER suggest paying for an essay service. That’s the fastest way to lose the student’s voice. Lots of people have said things above that make sense, but don’t lose heart that you won’t see the essay. </p>
<p>I would suggest two things: First, that she get some advice on just what makes an essay good (check the CC book reviews as a starting place) BEFORE SHE STARTS WRITING. Second, that she finds someone to check over the essay when she’s done for grammar and word usage (not necessarily approach).</p>
<p>All that said… Because of the book, I’ve edited (no charge) lots of essays, and I’ve found that many time all it takes is a rearrangement of the student’s own words - and lots of removal of extraneous material.</p>
<p>Also, I agree that the topic is not a good one.</p>
<p>I agree strongly with author Alan Gelb when he advises that there are three things your essay should NEVER do: Brag about yourself, explain/apologize for your behavior, or complain about anything. The topic sounds like the first of the above.</p>