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<p>Actually, at the top schools, I’ll bet 50% of the student body is full pay. Another 25-30% are partial pay and the rest are heavily subsidized. That’s the way it was at my D’s college. So we had plenty of company.</p>
<p>^^Exactly, LMNOP. I never understand why some people think someone else should pay for their/their kids’ educations. It reminds me of the 3 little pigs. Some go out and play after building their house out of straw, while others build theirs out of brick and are well protected. Why should the ones who used straw mooch off of the ones who used brick? Real need is real need, but IMO poor budgeting and reckless spending habits for people who have tha ability to pay OOP should not be rewarded.</p>
<p>I saved the money to send mine through elite private. Then H suffered severe financial losses and made poor business decisions. The money was spent bailing out a failing business.</p>
<p>I thought that a worthwhile expense because my H associated so closely with his business that had it failed, I don’t think he would have had enough self-esteem to function as a successful parent.</p>
<p>I wanted to spare him and his children (my children) that pain. The jury is still out on the business, but the family did survive psychologically intact. I’m very grateful.</p>
<p>I had planned to pay full freight. After this reversal there was no way I could have. I would rather have paid full freight and I did not expect to feel resentment. It was my extreme pleasure to have gathered the means to send my kids to “dream schools”. I would never have considered spending the money on anything else.</p>
<p>I have been fortunate in that both kids were excepted at need-blind/meets 100% of need institutions so I can just squeak by and get them though. One has graduated. I am very grateful for the institutional help I’ve received, but I would rather have paid full freight.</p>
<p>^^^^ And it is exactly because you were a wise saver that you had the funds to manage your personal family needs. An in a case like this, when there is adversity that affects a family’s income/finances, they deserve financial aid, just like those who are from lower income families. The high income, “living the high life” and haven’t saved a dime (or not nearly enough to fund a childs education) should learn to live within their means, not expect entitlements that are meant for those truly in need. To me that is merely enabling their bad behavior. </p>
<p>My H was laid off 8 mos ago. Because we have been very careful with our money, we have savings and my income to live on. Fortunately older s is out of college and younger s’s college costs are low thanks to large merit award. We can pay for his college expenses out of the 529 fund we funded a long time ago.</p>
<p>fallgrl and thumper - I think you misinterpreted my comment about the sucker syndrome - it was not that you were making the choice to use funds for education over expensive toys - actually I appluad your decision there. Rather it was directed at colleges which have come up with this perverted system of charging those who can pay a lot more so they can use the extra funds to subsidize everyone else.</p>
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<p>No. I feel very fortunate that my child is able to attend her dream school. This was something that H & I planned for. Actually since her school is notoriously bad for financial aid, I know that we are not the minority in paying full cost.</p>
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<p>If you go into something knowing the facts, knowing exactly what you are getting yourself into then you are not being taken advantage of…we know what our buget is, what we can pay without harming ourselves financially. Would we pay $50,000, most likely not but it’s not necessarily just about money for us it’s a value equation that encompasses much more. Ultimately, it’s a very personal decision. The “sucker” is the family who thinks that they have to pay $50,000 to get a quality education and really can’t handle the costs but do it anyway potentially harming their future finances by getting “suckered” into the hype.</p>
<p>We too are full pay. But even at 50+, this doesn’t actually cover the full cost of educating a student. Everyone is on some type of blind aid in that this is what endowments offset and is why annual funds are so important. This past year when tuitions went up only slightly at most schools, that percentage is even larger. I don’t mind paying full boat but I do mind, as has been pointed out, those who cry poor man while still taking vacations, driving their cars, and wearing designer duds. We all make choices but one shouldnt benefit from spending that is not in line with what they’re asking. What kind of irks me is that my kid IS actually a “poor” college student while some of his friends on excessive financial aid are planning spring breaks in cancun! That’s just not right in my book.</p>
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Thats just wrong. If they can afford a luxury like a vacation like that, they should put that $$ towards college expenses. That is like the school subsidizing their holiday.</p>
<p>I just stopped worrying about what other people do a long time ago.</p>
<p>Once, we I still had little ones, I met a friend, with her little one, at Friendly’s for a fancy lunch out, the way it can be with tiny children.</p>
<p>I parked in a handicap spot. (I had all appropriate designations.) She very cattily said, “Mythmom, too bad you’re handicapped,” thinking I was gaming the system. There was more than a little nastiness in her voice. I said, “Yes, too bad I am.”</p>
<p>I have very severe, very persistent asthma. A closer spot might make the difference in me having the breath capacity that day to get the kids out of their car seats, lift them out of the car, whatever.</p>
<p>To her, I looked like I was scamming. She couldn’t “see” my asthma, and refused to concede the point, for reasons surpassing my understanding.</p>
<p>I have had countless people tell me how lucky I am to have a handicap sticker and be able to park close to buildings.</p>
<p>I wish I could get them to see that I rather be fit. Not walking has made me heavier, which has exacerbated the problem.</p>
<p>Thank goodness for FA and handicap stickers, but I would rather spend my own means and expend my my own energy.</p>
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<p>That happens EVERYWHERE not just at expensive private schools. Full pay students at public universities are also paying a lot more than those who receive financial aid. </p>
<p>Sorry…I do not care one bit that the money I am paying <em>may</em> be subsidizing other students who are less fortunate. All we cared about was the better interests of our own two kids. Yes, we paid a lot. No we were not taken advantage of. We have no regrets. My husband and I are NOT suckers…we consider ourselves to be wise spenders…and our decision to spend more money than less on a college education for our kids was one of those wise spending decision. I will add…there was NO instate public school facility that was appropriate for our son’s major (music performance). DD did NOT want to major in engineering at a school where she was going to be taught by teaching assistants, and she did not want to be a “number”. We felt that the expense of the private school educations our kids received was well worth every penny we paid.</p>
<p>I take advantage of the financial aid system by sending my kids to schools that provide it. If there was no such thing as FA, there’s no doubt my kids would go to in-state public colleges or universities. I’m glad there is FA, but I don’t know how I’d feel about it if I was paying full freight and saw a lot of the other students on aid.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I pay more than 50% of the bill and it stings like hell - maybe I should be mad at the students who pay only 40 or 30 or 20%? Especially if they vacation in Cancun!</p>
<p>We consider paying for college a privilege, just as we consider paying taxes a privilege. My husband is very talented and lucky so money is not a concern for us. Not only do we pay for our daughters’ college but we donate to their schools and have college funds for our great-nephews and Godson. My daughter turned down all the scholarships she was offered, deferring them to those that might need them more and we are very proud of that.</p>
<p>Is the price of a four year degree ridiculous? Absolutely! Are taxes too high? Absolutely! Are there probably less expensive/more efficient ways to run a college and a government? Absolutely! But this is the world we live in and we have been very fortunate (partially because my husband’s firm is run very efficiently) so we are willing to share.</p>
<p>(I will agree though that nothing upsets us more than to see someone spending haphazardly and then pleading poverty.)</p>
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<p>Not actually paying tuition yet - but no, I wouldn’t feel taken advantage of it. I would feel proud of myself and fortunate that we have worked hard enough to be able to give this incredible gift to our children, and I wouldn’t spend one minute of my time sucking my thumb that other people who are less fortunate than us and don’t have those opportunities are being subsidized. </p>
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<p>What’s to consider? That’s their choice. They are free not to attend a costly school because they don’t believe in massive debt or don’t want to transfer their assets to the university. I don’t see why I need to “consider” other people’s decisions or money-management principles. I concern myself with what we’re doing, not others.</p>
<p>amtc: I am not in your position, but I found your post and your generosity heartwarming. And I too, like to give whatever I can to help – time, money, knowledge.</p>
<p>As for people spending haphazardly and pleading poverty, well, there are always those weaker than others in some area. I know I am, especially when it comes to chocolate!</p>
<p>But I so like what you wrote. I hope you may enjoy your good fortune, talents and hard work for a long time.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl and others notes,ot actually paying tuition yet - but no, I wouldn’t feel taken advantage of it. I would feel proud of myself and fortunate that we have worked hard enough to be able to give this incredible gift to our children,"</p>
<p>Response: Yes, but I would feel just as proud paying half the price! In fact, I would even have more pride.</p>
<p>my kid goes to a 50grand plus school and the other graduated from an only slightly less expensive intitution. We’re not wealthy so we got lots of money from the colleges. Then there’s the Pell grants etc. we made the kids take out as much as they could in loans and work at school, holidays and summers. They also hit up Aunts, Uncles and other relatives for birhtday money etc… so it’s worked out great for us. The money we used to spend on food and other stuff for them we now spend on ourselves. For the first time in many years, we actually took a vacation. We also have cable tv and the internet. Our car is no longer held together with chewing gum. So I am all for the 50 plus privates. The kids are seeing a life they could only dream about, and I am even getting to visit once or twice a year and sit around with rich people eating meals provided by the college. What a life! I only hope the aid holds up and that we can keep paying the very reasonable amount they charge us - it’s still a struggle. Yes, our home is remortgaged and I had only paid off 7 years of it, but by the time I am 86 it will be mine.
Thanks to all the colleges and to all the full paying parents. Thank-you</p>
<p>I agree that $50k per year is an outrageous price to pay for 8 months in a shared spartan room, with 3 hours of class time per day, and food to sustain the life of a 115 lb female. I almost go into anaphylactic shock every time I pay the bill. But there really isn’t anything more important in my life that I’d rather spend my money on.</p>
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LOL, mythmom. Doubt that chocolate habit cost as much as a high end car or a luxury vacation. Agree that we all have our weaknesses, but if someone cannot manage their money and lives above their means, then pleads poverty and stands there with their hand out, I have little patience for that (note: I have several moocher relatives so this is s sore spot for me).</p>
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<p>Well said, Bay…and I fully agree.</p>