<p>Thanks to well-off parents and a college fund set up by my grandparents, I can “afford” to go anywhere for college. However, I cannot reconcile myself with the idea of spending a very significant amount of additional money for an education that will not necessarily offer me superior opportunities down the road. My grandparents were very poor and made what they have without name-brand diplomas or $50,000 yearly in college costs.</p>
<p>About two weeks ago, I checked in with a number of graduated friends to see how they like their college choices. One is at a “party school” ranked relatively low by USNWR on a full-ride scholarship, and he is feeling exceptionally challenged and academically stimulated. Another is at our local U, living at home to save money. He is also involved in his work. I know a guy who went off to an Ivy League school full-pay and has spent most of his time outside class partying. That isn’t to say that every student will have the same experience, but it certainly makes me question the need to pay $200,000+ extra for a “top” school.</p>
<p>noimagination…what would you do if your state university did not have decent programs…or didn’t have a program at all in your areas of interest? What would you do if your kid (or you) would benefit from a smaller learning environment rather than navigating a large state university? What would you do if your kiddo wanted to be in an urban area and your state U’s were in the sticks? What would you do if you really felt strongly about your kids graduating in four years and the State U’s typically took at least one additional term? What would you do if you felt strongly that your kids should be taught by professors, not teaching assistants? What would you do if your kiddo need some special accommodation not offered at the large state U?</p>
<p>Those are the questions I can think of off the top of my head that would perhaps make folks (like me…and we had a NUMBER of those questions for our kids) have a willingness to pay more for a college education. We didn’t do it simply because a school was “top” ranked. And in fact, we paid a high price for schools NOT in the top 50. Go on…now you can tell me I’m really a fool because I paid that kind of money for a school that isn’t even RANKED highly. BUT my kids have gotten fabulous educations…and like Bay…I can’t think of a better place to spend my money.</p>
Honestly, my state U is not even on the radar. I’m not impressed by its programs in my areas of interest and I do not plan on returning to this state after I leave. But there are many good-quality universities outside of my state that offer very generous (and often guaranteed) merit aid.</p>
<p>I’m not judging you for your decision. If you and your child decided that the opportunities available wherever they ended up were worth the extra money, that was your choice to make. But I honestly feel that a motivated student can push themselves to succeed at a huge range of schools not usually discussed on this forum and save a bundle in the process - that’s what the experiences of many successful graduates I know tell me.</p>
<p>I think it’s easy to underestimate the importance of starting out with savings. For many people, leaving college with a small nest egg already in place can open doors to futures they could not have considered otherwise due to modest salaries.</p>
<p>The point I think Thumper is making is that students should select the “best” school for them, not necessarily the “top” school. Sometimes the best program or the best fit costs more. Sometimes OTOH, you get what you pay for. If a family is in the position to, and willing to pay for the best fit for their child, thats, to me, what college, and educating a child is all about. I feel honored that we can offer this to our kids, and have scrimped and saved and sacrificed to make their education, and finding the best fit for them, a priority.</p>
There are many factors to consider when making a choice. I just think that cost should be one of them.</p>
<p>@thumper1: I’m not trying to attack you or your choices. It just concerns me when I see people on this forum cavalierly considering spending what is a massive sum of money to most in this world based on highly suspect factors. If enough research indicates that it’s worth it to spend more (and you have the ability to do so), go right ahead. But making a major financial decision based on whether a campus “feels right” following a three-hour tour strikes me as a very bad idea.</p>
<p>I can’t speak for thumper, but from what I’ve read of her posts, her kids hardly chose their schools cavalierly based on a 3 hour tour. Most posters here are far more savvy than that, and spend far more time researching the schools they choose to apply to. Of course cost should be a factor. Fortunately for some, it doesn’t have to be the primary factor.</p>
<p>What’s massive to you may not be massive to them. If it’s their money, I don’t see why it bothers you so much. Or at all, really. </p>
<p>I have that money sitting around for my 2 kids. What the heck else should I spend it on? Fancy cars? A bigger house? A boat? What? I can’t think of anything better to spend it on than their education (other than health related expenses). Just because it’s a massive sum to you – so what? Why should that impact my willingness to spend it?
What else should I do with it – watch it grow in the bank? Buy myself furs and diamonds? That’s what H and I worked so hard for.</p>
<p>Noimagination, my father dropped out of hs, got a GED while in the military serving in Vietnam, and became wildly successful without a fancy college diploma. And when I, his eldest daughter, did well in school, he was tickled beyond belief that he could afford to fund me to wherever I wanted to go.</p>
Because even very intelligent people can make bad decisions, especially in our risk-promoting culture. How often does a post show up on this forum where financial circumstances somehow “changed” and the $50k a year no longer seems so doable?
Thumper does seem like a very involved parent, and without further knowledge of his/her situation I cannot comment specifically. But I do know enough about my peers to say that “fit” for a teenager may not be based on what the parents think or are told. Often times “this just doesn’t feel right” or “I wouldn’t fit in here” is code for “I heard something that I don’t like about this school but suspect it sounds too silly for you to believe” - in which case it probably is.</p>
<p>Of course, everyone present will indignantly exclaim that they know their child far too well for that to be the case. I don’t deny that, and I think it’s probably true for most of the parents in this thread. But I am referring to other parents, most of whom don’t have thousands of CC posts.</p>
<p>@Pizzagirl: My suggestion would be to set aside however much money you feel comfortable spending on your child’s education and let them decide how to spend it (with some restrictions if you feel they are necessary). I think that the value of savings is easy to underestimate. Having some financial security can make a big difference.</p>
<p>It seems that the factors are so complex that each family, and even each child within the family, will need a different algorithm to come up with the appropriate answer in each case.</p>
<p>And even then, we will never know for sure. As one friend of mine is fond of saying, “The final evidence is never in.”</p>
<p>We survey the field, ponder our options and make the call, hoping we are choosing wisely.</p>
<p>Most people seem to be satisfied with their decisions, and as others have pointed out, they’re not irrevocable and students can, and do, transfer.</p>
<p>Cross posted with noimagination. Yes, you’re right. There are folks who do not make the most thoughtful decisions, but so it is with everything. </p>
<p>My kids would not have been happy at any of our state schools. I think it’s in part a peculiarity of the schools in our state and their particular interests. There are states in which the publics do a much better job of providing for their interests. (My S is a classics major which is only offered at one of the top publics in our state. We have no flagship.)</p>
<p>Fortunately, they were both accepted by need-blind institutions that met 100% of need (according to their formula of course) and their schooling was not significantly more expensive than many publics. Some, but not significantly so.</p>
<p>This made our choice easier, but I feel for those families that agonize about this.</p>
<p>Such is the case with any life decision, though. Life circumstances change. You buy a house and both spouses lose jobs or someone develops a medical issue. That doesn’t mean that something was a poor decision in the first place – merely that life happened.</p>
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<p>But a lot of times the “distinctions” really are dancing-on-the-head-of-a-pin. If we’re talking Harvard vs Arizona State, there are real distinctions. If we’re talking schools that are all within the same general band in terms of caliber of school, I don’t see why fit (or general liking - I prefer a city over a suburb, etc.) wouldn’t be of interest.</p>
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<p>I’m not sure what you’re advocating for me to do that is any difference from my approach - they’re looking at schools of interest to them, we will visit and yes, fit will be a consideration since their schools are all in the same general ballpark, and we’ll go from there.</p>
<p>Brilliant! Rather than allow some financially successful 50-year-old parents to make stupid mistakes about how to spend their $200K, give the $200K to a 17-year-old, who is obviously in a much better position to decide how to spend it wisely.</p>
<p>LOL!
You know, for every parent who “cavalierly” throws money around and sends junior to Party-On-Dude-U for twice the price as Well-Ranked-Serious-Own-Flagship-State-U, there is another parent who has the same amount of money who decides that Local Nonselective College is all that their bright kid deserves because parent doesn’t see the existence of a bigger world beyond his backyard and would rather have a new car. So I’m not really interested in playing the game as to how other people should spend their money, since it works both ways.</p>
I would consider putting oneself in the position where one such event can have a disastrous conclusion rather reckless if it could have been avoided.
To my mind, location is not a minor concern. I’m afraid that I see things most parents on here may not be exposed to - students who read an anonymous post on this forum or hear something from a friend at school and are immediately biased against an option and have to use “fit” to explain their reluctance. Such distinctions may be okay when all else is equal, but they sure don’t seem to be worth $100,000+.
It sounds like you are doing a great job.
Well… yes and no. Having the money at least somewhat available for other pursuits makes it much more real. It isn’t just “having Daddy pay for my college” (a real quote from a classmate).</p>
You come from the enviable position of being from a state that is geographically desirable to many colleges and universities. </p>
<p>You sound like a responsible student, not being swayed by your friends’ opinions or those of a BB, but it seems you are underestimating the wisdom of many parents here, especially those who have been through the admissions process several times and have sent several kids to, and through school (and who have been on this board a long time had had this conversation many times before). Most posters in this thread will agree with you that it is ill-advised to go into debt, potentially setting up future financial problems for parents and/or students. But if a family is fortunate to be able to afford to pay for school at whatever price and not put themselves in financial harms way, why is this a problem for you?</p>
There probably is a distinct probability that we are all sitting here jabbering away in a little ivory tower that will never again be exposed to daylight after we finally get tired of the issue. But there is also some chance that parents and students with less experience than those posting in this thread (and I do not include myself in that group, considering the vast experience some members here have) may stumble across our little discussion and perhaps get something from it. That’s why I keep bringing up the idea of paying for “top” schools - not because I think you are doing it, but because there are people who will spend money they may dearly need on a product that is not clearly superior to lower-ranked and cheaper schools.</p>
<p>Just to be clear…one of my kids is attending college at an expensive school that is probably NOT superior to the higher ranked schools…BUT this school is superior for MY KID. </p>
<p>And just for the record…this is a VERY highly motivated kid who has gotten just about everything out of this college that she and we (the parents) could dream she would get. </p>
