<p>We 're kinda in a similar boat.
Zigged when I should have zagged, found out our biggest mutual fund holdings were loaded with Enron stock, 50s, 3 kids to put through.
Moved back East last year, with all that means mortgage-wise. income looks high, but it's nothing given the costs here. Got next to no aid.</p>
<p>We've decided to let them go for it & maybe eat cat food out of trash bins later on. Maybe we'll be really lucky and I'll die soon. I'm not suggesting this is a sound decision for others to make, or even for us for that matter.</p>
<p>If it makes you feel any worse, Oberlin is really great at the stuff your kid is interested in. Don't know anything about U Md.</p>
<p>SS, My DD1 and I will be having a similar conversation soon once she hears from Reed (from which I know we'll get little/nothing). U Md is a great school and there are all kinds of employment opps in the DC area, as you know. I wouldn't consider sending your child to U Md as mortgaging his future. 2nd choice in schools is still much better than many other people experience. At the end he'll have a good education, little debt, good possibilities of employment and a parent close by if he needs support. That is coming out ahead.</p>
<p>If I were your son, I'd be proud of you. You took your education and your abilities and applied them for most of your adult lives in an area that could make a real difference for people who could not have afforded legal services otherwise. You have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to apologize for. Your son will have access to a wonderful education, with little debt, and won't be stuck in the middle of cornfield on the far, far outskirts of...Cleveland! (apologies to Ohioans)
And maybe, just maybe, at a later point in your lives, because you haven't taken on untenable amounts of debt, you'll be to contribute in new ways all over again.</p>
<p>If I had his phone number, I'd call your son up and tell him to give you a big hug.</p>
<p>(And if you have some extra money, I have 240 migrant labor children in India who can a feed, clothe, house, and educate for $125 a year.)</p>
<p>Strikes me that you have raised a son who has internalized your core values about money, service and priorities. What a gift! UMD offers plenty of opportunities. If he's happy, don't look back.</p>